Fate Works in a Funny Way
by gxldentrio
Summary: Lily despised James and all of his mannerisms. James hated how she was always so uptight. But with head duties, common friends, and a curious Divination seminar, neither of them is ready to look at each other the same way again. Marauders Era, 7th Year.
1. Of Potions and Last Words

So, hullo guys! This is my first ever Jily fanfiction, and my first work here on this website! I really hope you like it! Please review it and tell me where I could do better! I am going to try to write longer chapters, so bear with me on this first one.

None of the characters belong to me, as I am not the great and powerful JKRowling.

* * *

She is mad. McGonagall has gone mad. Why would **anyone** force us to be up at 9 in the morning on a Saturday, for a _Divination_ seminar? Most of us don't even _take_ Divination anymore! Did I mention that it's before 10 on a bloody Saturday? Back me up on this, come on, you know I am right.

Right, just my luck. Toerag Potter just decided to take over the Head bathroom. "Hey, I don't think your hair needs that much time you know?! It's gonna be all messed up anyways!"

"Sod off, Evans."

There, just like that. And what in the heavens did I do to deserve this torture might I add? James Potter, Head Boy? Dumbledore has gone off is rocker. _Still_ not worse than McGonagall.´I still can't believe she is forcing us to come to a bloody Divination seminar. Who cares about Divination anyways? Well, I guess she wouldn't have had to literally force us if anyone signed up for it, but still. You'd think they'd give NEWT students a break, but _no._ Now I will be stuck in a dusty classroom all bloody morning because Ms. Seeker has a seminar to deliver. And to help my case, my excuse of a Head Boy takes more time putting on his make up than me.

"What are you even doing in there?!"

"You sure you want to know, Evans?"

"You are disgusting, and I hate you."

* * *

"Earth to Lily?!" Alice snapped me out.

"What?"

"We're about to go in."

We got in and I was reminded instantly why I dropped Divination – all that incense in the air didn't work for my allergies.

"Sit down, sit down…" The seminar began and I dozed off, until some weird scent caught my nose.

"In front of me is a curious little potion" Ms. Skeeter explained – but I thought this was Divination? That's what you get for falling asleep. Quite the model student huh? "It's supposed to smell differently to every one – no, it's not Amortentia – it's supposed to smell differently to every person because all of you will have a different future, a different fate. I want you to line up, and, taking turns, each one of you will experience a unique sort of dream. And you will each say out loud your last dying words. But I want you to be very careful because the things you say can change the way you look at your life forever. Scared cats are not wanted."

People started to line up, but I only really listened to the people I care about. Marlene was the first to taste the potion, like, really at the front of the line. She went wide-eyed all of a sudden and she said, in the most panicked and desperate voice "Please stop, please stop!". And then she snapped out of it, but her eyes remained wide and she was not quite the same.

It was Remus' turn and when he spoke, he spoke calmly "I love you." And I was actually quite surprised because I hadn't seen him go out on a date since, well, _ever._ But I was pleased that, at least, he will be happy when he goes. When Sirius tasted the potion he just laughed, and somehow, I was not surprised even one bit – of course he would die laughing, but sadly he will not be the last to laugh.

I was getting closer and closer to the cauldron, and I must admit, I was far more curious than scared. I was scared, a lot, actually, but I was even more excited.

"Lily Evans." I stepped forward. The potion tasted bitter in my mouth, and it smelt like snow and grass after it had been rained upon. My thoughts got blurry and all I could see was a green flash of light and when I opened my mouth, the only thing coming out was "Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Harry be safe, be strong." And then I could think again. _Who is Harry_? Obviously my future child. But to think that I'll die in front of him? It's a strange feeling, knowing your last words.

"James Potter" and he stepped forwards, just like I did a few minutes ago, and even though he irked me - with his pranks and his showing off, and the snitch he carries around _everywhere,_ and the way he always messes up his hair – I couldn't help but to be curious. Will he die laughing, just like is fellow Marauder? Will he go happy, like Remus will? Nothing prepared me for what came out of his mouth.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll try to hold him off — just go!" he said panicked and I could tell he was crying, even if I didn't dare myself to look at him. **_Lily,_**_ take **Harry**_**.** The whole hall was a blur as I ran to the Head dorm.


	2. Of Arguments and Realizations

Hi guys, it's me again, with a brand new chapter! I know, I know the first chapter is a little short, but this one is twice as long! I am going to try to write around 2000 words per chapter, do you think that's good?

I can't believe how well you responded to the last chapter! It was incredible! Thank you guys so much, over a hundred views and 3 reviews after less than 2 days! That is amazing!

Disclaimer: None of the characters or world belong to me as I am not the wonderful JKRowling we all know and love.

* * *

As soon as I got to my room I dove into my bed, although it didn't really help to sleep on an empty stomach. Still, I wasn't going to dinner. Did you even know how gossip spread around Hogwarts? It was insane! Didn't those people have lives? And I was going to have to face Potter! _Well that's cute, Evans_. I was sure there were lots of Lily's in the world, and lots of Harry's too. I didn't even believe in Divination! And neither did half the school! But, of course, because it was me and Potter, Potter and me, _everyone_ was interested. _Well it looks like you finally admitted yourself you worship him_. See? That was going be everyone for at least a month! What did I even do? Holy Heavens.

With that thought in my mind I drifted off to sleep, where I was as restless as if I remained awake. Tomorrow was going to royally suck. I spent the rest of the weekend stuck in bed, not talking to anyone, but not quite resting either. I was a mess.

* * *

Good Lord Lily, get a grip, it's eight am. **It's 8 am**! Oh my god, I was so late. I jumped out of my bed and tugged at my hair while I quickly put on my robes. I didn't shower, I didn't have breakfast, and I didn't even have time to brush my teeth! I was the lamest Head Girl Hogwarts ever had. By the time I reached the Dungeons (Potions. I was so done with potions.) It was 8 and a half, and professor Slughorn just started his lecture.

"Professor I am so incredibly sor-"

"It's alright Lily, just come in." He said with a slight small on his lips. "Today, I have a quick pop quiz for you to take. It has important preparation tasks and questions that can be in your NEWT's exams, so I'd try hard to pay attention. I hope you have been studying regularly because this year is not one for fooling around." He sad, now with a frown on is face, a line of worry tracing his forehead. He did some wandless magic and the sheets of parchment were distributed between each student. "You have 40 minutes. Begin, and good luck!"

_Question 1: What are the main differences between the Draught of Living Dead and a simple Cheering Potion? Please take accountant the ingredients, texture and color of the potion and not their effects._

How was I supposed to know that? Alright it was important knowledge and information, but it was practically impossible to tell them apart!_ The Draught of Living Dead is, just like the Cheering Potion, a creamy violet liquid._ That was literally it. They were the same. But the cheering potion always looked prettier though. _However, while the Draught has tints of grey and black, the Cheering Potion has a tendency to form rays of white and blue._ Oh, and I remembered my sixth year project with Potter about beetlejuice. Potter… He hadn't glanced over here the entire lesson. Well, yeah, we were in the middle of an exam – that never stopped him before though._ While in this potion you add the juice of 3 squished beetles, in the Draught of Living Dead you only had two._

The rest of the quiz went just the same, some random knowledge popping up, but most of it was made up. Questions 4 and 7 were especially tricky, but I hoped I hadn't completely ruined my grade. I thought I should have revised this better but I couldn't do anything yesterday! I was dead by shame, that's what happened.

* * *

"Hey Lily" Marlene greeted me.

"Hey Marls, how did it go?"

"It was awful! Who even cares about potions?" she asked with annoyance.

"Well" I frowned "It's actually quite important, especially if you still want to become a Healer."

"Well I know that! But it's just so bloody difficult! Mind studying with me next Saturday?"

"We can't, next Saturday is a Hogsmead weekend."

"Alright" she conceded defeated. A quick grin formed in her lips. "But I want details."

"What details?!" She might ask me about Potter. No, she wouldn't.

"What's up with you and James?" and I could see the mischief sparkle in her eyes "Since you are going to end up together with your little baby Harry, the cutie."

"Do you even believe that Divination crap? It's all of bunch of bollocks, like I'd ever like a prick like Potter."

"Alright, alright, just saying." Her blond hair fell just by her shoulder and she brushed it off as she spoke. "But apparently you bought that Divination crap since you spent all weekend holed up in your bloody room."

"I did not do such thin-"

"McKinnon. Evans." James _The Prick_ Potter greeted us. He was so annoying, with that crooked smile and laid-back attitude. How did he even keep it that way? Was he not affected by what happened Saturday? I was sure Sirius would mess with him.

"Hey James." Marlene flashed him a quick smile "I'm gonna head to Herbology, is that alright Lily? _Enjoy your free period_!" but she didn't even wait for my answer and as soon as she came she was out of my sight.

"We need to talk."

"In case you have failed to notice, Evans, we are talking."

"See? This is exactly why we need to talk! You are being the most obnoxious git of all times and-"

"Is this why you wanted to talk? Because I really don't have time for your bullshit, flower."

"Ugh! How are you so, so **you!?** With everything that happened Saturday? Doesn't it even bother you? I am sure you believe that crap, you always liked Divination, I don't even know why you dropped it…" And I was rambling. It was his fault! He always riled me up. "The point is…"

"Been watching me, Evans?"

"No! Of course not! You're a prick and you annoy me. But explain this weird reaction if you please!"

"Well, I am not exactly pleased by it either you know?"

"Then why're you so-" and then I was brutally interrupted, what a way to go Potter, really.

"The thing is, flower, I just woke up today, and I thought 'What would Lily Evans do?'

"So? I don't exactly strut around the castle, that's not how I am reacting to this, at all!" I screamed, frustrated! Why did he have to make everything so bloody complicated? Trying to anger me, criticize my 'bullshit'… Stupid git.

"But you see, Evans, when you don't like something, don't you just pretend it doesn't exist?" His words felt like a punch in the gut. And as I was left in the hall dumbstruck he just turned around and left, like I had so many times before.

* * *

I headed to the library, because as lame as that was, it always helped me calm down. I grabbed my favorite Charms book, and I occupied the big armchair by the Transfiguration aisle, but the book soon lost its interest as my mind wandered into other areas of my life.

_When you don't like something, don't you just pretend it doesn't exist?_ Why did I have the feeling he hadn't meant something, but more like someone? Who had I ever even ignored? I was a decent person, most of the time! And I knew I shut him out most of last year, but anyone would have done the same if someone used you as trading currency to stop bullying your best friend. Not that Severus was any better. They both needed to sort out their priorities, that's what they needed. Potter needed to learn the fuck up that girls were not trophies and Severus was a lost cause. Bloody bumbling band of baboons, that's what they were. I was done trying to save people who didn't want any help.

* * *

"Soooo, how did it go?"

"I hope you realize Marlene, I still haven't forgiven you for leaving me to die back there."

"It couldn't have been that bad!" Marlene argued with a playful frown dancing on her face. That was weird phrasing but that's what it looked like, really.

"Really? Is that so?" was my witty response. _Smooth, Evans._ "Potter is a prick who is acting like nothing happened, because 'that's what Lily does, she ignores things when she doesn't like them, so we should all act like her because she is bloody perfect' and it irritates me because why would he think that low of me?"

"Well" she started "you did ignore him for nearly an entire year. And I know, I know you had good reasons to do so, but can't you see he's grown up? And you don't even give him a second chance! You keep insulting him like it comes as easy to you as breathing and then you give him an earful after he tries to move on!"

"Yeah well, you're not really understanding it." I muttered.

"Tell me one thing Lily." She said suddenly pensive. "If today was your last day, would you try to make amends with Snape?"

"**Of course not**!" I was outraged "Or do you not remember how he so graciously called me a mudblood in front of everyone?"

"And would you try to talk to James?"

"Well, _duh,_ but that's not really the point here." I was exasperated. The famous 'Marlene Talks' always gave me a headache.

"That's exactly the point Lily." She concluded "Just go talk to him. And don't rush into things, you have a hot temper. But sleep first, you'll feel better." She added.

And I did just as she said. I wouldl talk to him. Tomorrow, definitely. Probably. Fuck my life.

* * *

**A/N: **So, how did you guys like this chapter? Is it better than the last one? Is it worst? What do you think of the relationships between the characters? Do you like the dialogue? Is it too mainstream or too sweet or too rude? Is the lack of Marauders annoying you? Is there too much Marlene? Let me know by leaving a review! Thank you for reading!


	3. Of Classes and Letters

Hey guys! Oh my god, I am loving your response to my story! Thank you so much! I know, I know I set my goal to 2000 words per chapter, but this time I really outdid myself. **Over three thousand words guys!** I hope you have a Happy New Year! Please, don't forget to review and share this story!

Disclaimer: Not that you thought I was, but I am not Jo. Sorry about that.

* * *

The sun shined through the curtains and I dreaded having to wake up, especially if I was going to face Potter and apologize to him. Could you imagine? He'd die of shock! Lily Evans apologizing to James Potter? That was unusual. I rolled around only to find Marlene's barn owl, Leeyana, pecking on my window.

_Don't you dare back out now, little miss. Go talk to him. –M _

Of course. Of course Marlene would do that. She was always pushing us to do the things we dreaded the most.

I collected my clothes and I headed to the shared Head Bathroom. I locked my shower and closed the scarlet curtains, and I let the warm water wash away my worries as the apple scent of my shampoo took over the room.

_What am I going to say to him? I am going to make a complete fool of myself! _I thought worried, borderline desperate.

I wrapped my towel around my body and magically dried my hair, otherwise it was going to be awful frizzy. I dressed myself in my uniform and quickly brushed my hair. I stepped towards James' bedroom door and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Sirius Black was inside. "James isn't here, he went… uh, to the… he went to the owlery… yeah." His grey eyes and the hesitation on his voice betrayed him.

"Oh, okay Sirius, well, when you find him, tell him I need to speak with him please." I was both pleased and worried that James wasn't in his room. Well, what reason would Sirius have to lie to me? Obviously Potter put him up for this. I didn't even know why I bothered.

"Can do, Evans." He smirked. "But what do you need Prongs for?"

"Head Duties." I easily lie, one of my least favorite qualities showing. I was fantastic at lying, especially at lying to myself, but I dreaded doing it and often resorted not to.

"Alright then." I could tell he was not convinced by that, but he didn't press the subject either. "Care for breakfast?"

"Sure." I told him, nodding politely, and he walked with me, not quite together, to the Great Hall for some pumpkin juice and toast.

* * *

"Good morning!" Alice said cheerfully, her blue eyes shining, even though it was so early in the morning. "Hullo Sirius! Nice of you to join us for breakfast!" Her blonde hair fell into her face and she blew it away softly. "Marlene asked me to give you this Lils."

Alice handed me a tiny rectangle of folded parchment that read _'Have you talked to him? Do it! –M' _I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Is everything alright Lily?" Alice asked me concerned.

Let me tell you about Alice. Alice Fortescue was one of my best friends (along with Marlene) and she was the nicest girl I had ever met. She was always worried about other people's happiness and she actually knew how to comfort someone. She knew how to listen, and she always knew what to say. Marlene was brilliant, but she could be a little harsh, because she was so straight-forward, which was a great virtue, but because of that sometimes she could come out as tactless. I loved them both very much though.

"Yes, of course Alice" I flashed her a quick smile before I turned to Sirius "Seriously Black, where is everyone? James is '_in the owlery'_ but what about Remus and Peter?"

"Look, to be honest I haven't the foggiest, I kind of fell asleep in the kitchens last night; Prongs found me while he was going to the North Tower." He admitted, slightly tilting his head to the side as he spoke "Shouldn't take them too long though, Peter is usually an early riser and he tends to drag us lot with him."

"How about Frank?" Alice asked, trying to unsuccessfully hide the blush that had quickly crept on her cheeks.

"What about Frank, 'Lice?" Sirius smirked knowingly and as soon as he looked at me, I did too. Alice and Frank were those 'people who loved each other but the other didn't know even though it was obvious' you could find in every group of friends. It was strange to think of us as a group of friends, when we really were a small, weird family, me, Alice, Frank, Marlene and the Marauders. Sirius was like my annoying brother.

"Nothing, nothing…" She trailed off, blushing even harder.

"Good morning" Remus and Peter greeted us, while they sat on either side of Alice (me and Sirius were sitting across the table). "Didn't see you come up last night Padfoot, had much fun?" Remus mocked him.

"Hey Remus, hey Peter" I greeted them, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips "Have you seen James?"

"Not really" Peter conceded, a little bummed out. He took a piece of toast and shoved it unattractively in his mouth.

"You should talk to him" advanced Remus "the Ravenclaw prefects broke up again and are cross about having to patrol together."

"Will do, thanks Remus." I had always appreciated his effort towards trying to make rounds, which were quite boring, more pleasant for everyone.

"Did I hear that right? Is Bell single again?" Marlene arrived content.

"I wouldn't hope for too much McKinnon" Sirius intervened, smirking "You know they are always on and off. Besides, Bell's too much of a kicked puppy to let go of Baker just like that."

"The bloke's fit though." She admitted, faux defeated. "Alice, Lils, should we head to Charms?"

"Sure, let me just go get my bag" I turned to Alice "Do you guys wanna go without me? It might take me awhile."

"No, it's fine, we'll stay here a little more" Alice relaxed in her seat. "Hey Remus, do you mind going over my Arithmancy assignment? I'm having a little bit of trouble with the last couple of equations."

Their voices drifted off as I got up from my seat and walked out of the Great Hall. As soon as I turned the left corner, I bumped into a solid mass.

"I'm sorry" I stuttered shyly, but that soon turned into an enormous relief as I didn't just walk all over someone, but instead collided with a bespectacled, messy-haired boy. "James."

"Lily" His hazel eyes avoided my gaze carefully "look, I really don't have time right now, so if you could just…" he added sheepishly.

"I want to talk to you." I pleaded, holding back his arm.

"I think you talked enough yesterday, didn't you?" he asked me, a slightest twinge of hurt flashing through his eyes, but it disappear so quickly that I was left wondering if I had imagined it all along.

"No… I mean, I wanted to apologize." I admitted, and he stopped in his track, surprised by my confession. "It's obvious I misjudged you. I guess I didn't want to believe you had listened to me and _actually_ grown up." I finished lamely.

"Wait…" he shook is head in disbelief "Do you really think I grew up because of _you_?!"

"I… didn't…"

"There's a bloody war going on out there, have you noticed?" He exclaimed loudly in frustration.

"That's not what I meant! Damn it James!" I argued angrily. "Don't you get it! I am here, and I am sorry! I am sorry I shut you out last year, I am so sorry, but you just… _Shit_ James!" The silence is deafening, and tears are starting to well up behind my eyes.

"Lily…" he finally broke the void "calm down, please. People are stopping to watch." He added, weary.

"I… I need to go… I… I, um, I am sorry I wasted your time… I should get going, yeah, um, bye." I stormed off towards the third floor, embarrassed. I felt so foolish. I am sure it didn't look like it, but I really put myself out there. Because, even though he had screwed up many, many times in the past, I have begun to realize he really isn't all that bad. And I guess he still sees me as the stuck-up prig who enjoyed putting him down. I didn't. Enjoy it, I mean.

I hastily grabbed my book bag from underneath my bed and headed down to Charms, trying not to dwell in my recent interaction with James. I sat down on my chair next to Marlene, and tried to avoid looking her in the eye.

"Hey, James came to breakfast right after you left. It's a shame you missed him." She said, her thoughts in the clouds "It was probably better that you haven't spoken to him yet, he looked awful this morning." Instead of replying I focused my attention on Professor Flitwick's lecture about weather charms.

"It is very important to twist your wrist and not your elbow, because you will end up setting fire to something." Professor Flitwick dwelled on and on about the correct wand movements. "Miss Evans, would you mind demonstrating for the class?"

"Of course professor." I said cheerfully. Had I mentioned I was _brilliant_ at Charms? Not so good at Transfiguration though, that was Potter and Black's area of excellence. I twisted my right wrist as I muttered the incantation '_Novo Nebula_' and outside, the sun quickly set and was replaced by some nasty looking grey clouds.

"Well done, miss Evans. You have yet to disappoint me." I smiled when I heard the positive reaction. No matter what was going on in my life, I could always use little Professor Flitwick as my own personal Cheering Charm. James was swiftly swept under the rug for the rest of the morning.

* * *

"Bloody hell, I am starving!" Alice dragged her feet with me towards the Great Hall. It was just after noon, and I had to admit, I too was overwhelmingly hungry.

"Geez woman, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I laughed loudly. I was a pretty happy person. I wouldn't say content, with all that's happened with Snape and Petunia, but I wasn't one to dwell on things I couldn't change. I chose to laugh a great deal, because, even if I was feeling down, I wouldn't be on the receiving end of the _Pity Lane_.

"It's not my fault!" Alice defended herself, a wide smile stretched onto her lips "Blame my nagging stomach!"

"I am not so sure Frank likes nagging body parts" I half-mocked Alice, before I realized the implications of my words "Oh my god, that came off so wrong!" We walked to the Great Hall laughing out loud, in our own bubble.

* * *

James wasn't in the Great Hall for lunch. In fact, none of the Marauders were, not even Peter. I knew I have no business being concerned, when they were probably just planning out some prank. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something happened. Marlene didn't come either, but she warned us she was going to have lunch with Lucas Bell. The girl is persistent, I'll give her that.

Alice was chatting with Frank a couple of seats away, and not wanting to intrude, I stood up, ready to go to the library, to revise my Transfiguration essay before handing it over this afternoon. Just as I was passing the second floor corridor I heard them, but their words didn't soothe me as I was expecting.

"James! James Potter!" Sirius was yelling at a mirror, Peter and Remus looking into a large piece of parchment. "Prongs!"

"Hey Lily." Remus was frowning, but still managed to form a weak smile "You haven't seen Prongs by any chance, have you?"

"No, I haven't." I admitted "I got a little worried when neither of you came for lunch. Why was that?" I asked, curious.

"James stormed off right after the class ended" Peter stepped in, munching on an english muffin "We have been trying to find him for nearly forty minutes."

"Why is Sirius yelling at a mirror? How can that help?"

"It's a two way mirror, James has the other apart of the set." Remus explained "We were trying to find him using the map."

"The map?" I wrinkled my nose at this piece of information.

"Oh… It's just a map that locates people." Peter tried to explain without letting too much information escape, but his efforts weren't worth a thing since I managed to glance at the so called map.

"It's a lot more than that, isn't it?" I asked them "It's amazing! How did you manage to get one of these?" I was amazed.

"We made it, actually, Evans." Sirius had finally stopped talking to the object in his hand and finally acknowledged me.

"You did not!" Their faces told me the contrary. "You did?! This is fantastic!" I was in awe. "Suddenly the Marauders don't seem as impressive anymore." I told them jokingly, when in fact, they seemed even more impressive. How did a bunch of kids – alright, not _kids_ anymore – manage to come up with something as brilliant?

They laughed and shook their heads. "Do you want any help? I don't know James all that well, but maybe I can go look in some of my hiding places." I suggested.

"Alright" Remus conceded "I suppose two heads are better than one." At this, Sirius and Peter's heads perked up. "Oh don't look at me like that, you're both daft." Me and Remus laughed but promptly turned it into a very convincing coughing fit if I do say so myself.

"I am going to go then." I said my goodbyes and turned around. It looks like McGonagall is going to have to content herself with my current draft of the essay. It should be enough for an Exceeds Expectations though – I had stopped trying to achieve an O in Transfiguration since sometime last year.

* * *

I climbed the tricky stairs of Hogwarts all the way to the sixth floor. I knew for a fact James wouldn't be in the library, so I tried my next best option: The Room of Requirement. Not many people knew about this secret room, but I figured, if I did, the other person in the whole castle who would too, would be loud, curious, mischievous James. I wouldn't be surprised if he found it by accident, on the second year, because he need the _bathroom_. He had that kind of luck.

I walked three times in front of the wooden door of the broom cupboard that hid the room, and found it blocked, which meant someone was already inside; I just hoped it wasn't a couple shagging. I knocked – no one answered. It could only be James.

"Potter?" I asked gloomily. "You there?"

"Go away Evans." He said, but I found the wooden door unblocking, letting me in.

The room was dark, every possible window was closed. There wasn't much in the room, except for a fireplace, and two scarlet armchairs, very similar to the ones in the Gryffindor common room. As soon as I saw his face I knew what I had to do. I wished for an owl, and Leeyana magically showed up. I quickly scribbled a note for Sirius, and attached my Transfiguration paper.

_"__I found James. Don't worry. We aren't going to transfiguration. Please give her my essay and tell her we had Head Duties. - L.E."_ I bid the barn owl goodbye and opened the window for her.

"What are you doing here, Evans?" James asked me, not meeting my eyes.

"We were worried. Sirius and the others were looking for you all lunch." I carefully told him, not wanting to tick him off "I am not surprised this room wasn't in the map."

"The _map_? You know about the _map_?" He asked me bummed out, but at the same time, I found relief in his now dull eyes.

"Yeah… I do. I didn't until today though. They also showed me the mirror." His head shot upwards "I kinda walked in on them looking. Where did you put your mirror? Sirius was nearly shouting in the corridor?"

"Why do you care? Shouldn't you be in Transfiguration right now?" He asked, his voice abnormally quiet.

I was very careful with my words. James wasn't _sad_. He was completely helpless. "I sent Sirius a note. He's gonna tell McGonagall we have Head Duties."

"What do you mean by _we_?"

"I mean, I am staying here." I said, not even knowing why "I am not going to leave you by yourself like this. Especially after this morning." I sat down in the remaining armchair and fixed my gaze on the fire. "Do you want to tell me what happened? Marlene said you were a mess on breakfast."

Instead of replying, James dug through his book bag and pulled out a blue envelope with the purple wax seal of the Ministry of Magic. I opened it and pulled a sheet of paper out of it.

"Do you want me to read it?" He just nodded, so I turned my attention to the paper. The letter wasn't very long, but it was enough to break my heart in two.

_"__Dear Mr. Potter,_

_Today, there was an attack in a mission in Muggle London your parents took part in. The Death Eaters spared no one._

_Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Potter didn't survive. It's with much sadness and grief that we deliver this message to you._

_My deepest condolences,_

_Harold Minchum, The Minister of Magic"_

I closed the letter. I had never met James' parents but I knew from Sirius they were the best possible people that ever existed. They took him in after he ran away from the Black Manor and never asked him about it, they simply accepted him as their own.

"I am so sorry James." I said, not really knowing what else to say. Apparently he _did_ go to the owlery this morning… And I was foolish enough to think he would be avoiding me. I really am not that big of a deal. His words from this morning come back to me. _"Do you really think I grew up because of you?! There's a bloody war going on out there, have you noticed?"_

"Yeah, Evans. Me too."

* * *

**A/N:** Hullo again! How well did you like this chapter? I hope you are liking my characters, and I hope Lily isn't too stuck up anymore. I think her talk with Marlene really helped, and that she kind of needed that argument with James at the beggining of the chapter. And the Marauders made a grand appearence this chapter, huh? I also enjoyed writing Peter - I hate when fanfiction ignores him! Yes, he did the unthinkable, he betrayed his friends, but he was still their friend! There was a reason he was able to betray them!

Anyways, my school begins again in early January, so my updating rythm might start to be a little slower. Hopefully not too slow though! I wish you a very happy new year.

Yours,

Adriana


	4. Of Smirks and Naps

Hey, it's me again! With a brand new chapter for you! Did last chapter break your hearts? It certainly hurt to write it! I just want to take Prongs and wrap him in a fuzzy blanket. Well well, I am so glad you are enjoying this and reviewing! 12 reviews, almost 20 follows and over 550 views after only 3 chapters?! that's insane! I hope you like this one! Don't forget to let me know by reviewing!

Disclaimer: Not Jo. Sorry.

* * *

"I wish I got to know them better." I replied truthfully. "And I am sorry for this morning."

"Evans, don't." He pleaded, finally looking at me. His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with tears. I got up and walked towards him. Mine were bright because of the unshed tears.

"Scoot." I told him, my voice sounding steadier than I thought it would, and I sat down next to him, sharing his armchair. Both of the seats merged into one bigger sofa right before our eyes. "Have you told anyone?" I asked, curious. If he did, the other Marauders were awful good at pretending.

"Not really, no." He admitted. "I was mostly trying to pretend it wasn't real. That I'd go home for Christmas and I'd have the chocolate fudge my mom makes. And everything'd be alright…"

"Then why did you tell me?" By then I was even more confused. I was glad he trusted me, though.

"Have you looked at yourself, Evans?" he asked, shaking his head, his mop of black hair getting even more messy. "I figured, I could either tell you, or die trying not to. When you go after something, you usually get it."

"Do you want me to keep it that way?" I asked, since really, it was the only thing I could do for him.

"Sure, thanks Evans."

We fell silent, both lost in our thoughts, dreading what was to come next.

"Why are you here?" James whispered.

"I already told you." I said confused. "We were looking for you."

"No, uh…" He cleared his voice "I meant, why are you _still_ here?"

"I figured you could use a friend. And as much as you love the Remus, Peter and Sirius, I know sometimes they can be a little though to handle." I shook my head and focused my gaze on the fireplace once more.

"Oh." He said "So _now_ we're friends huh? Wow, I guess my parents should have died sooner, right flower?" I was about to scold him for saying something like that, but I soon realized he was being James, trying to hide his emotions with clever banter.

Then, he did the unthinkable. James started to cry. I took his hand "It's alright. It's alright James, it's okay…"

"It's not bloody okay."

"No." I answered. "It's not. It's not okay, I know that. And you shouldn't have to accept it. James." I called "James, look at me." He did so, his gaze sad but strong. "_We_'re okay."

"Okay." We spent the rest of the afternoon in the Room of Requirement. James mostly slept and I kept an eye on him. I was not ready for things to turn out like this, at least not this soon. But I guessed it would make our lives easier. With everything that was going on, none of us really need any additional trouble in our plates. I decided to message Petunia.

_"__Hey Tuney,_

_I know you made your feelings clear the last time we spoke, and I am not sending this message to get under your nerves, or anything. I need to tell you something._

_I know you have no idea, but there is a war in my world. People like me are dying. Students are getting pulled out of school and the Aurors (our police force) isn't being of much help. Voldemort (the instigator of this war) united a front of soldiers, people from magical families, and other evil creatures, who are against wizards and witches with Muggle parents._

_I thought I was safe. That's why I kept this from you, mom and dad. But one of my friends' parents (you remember James Potter?) just died. It's not safe for anyone Tuney. And now you're married, and I know you don't want anything to do with me, okay, I _know_. I am going to join the fight as soon as I graduate. I might _die_, Tuney. So I just wanted you to know I love you, very much._

_\- Lily"_

I also made a mental note to send a letter to my parents. Of course, I wouldn't tell them about any of this. This was something I should do in person, and the only reason why I hadn't done it with Petunia was because she made it clear that as soon as she got married, she was getting out of this family, and that she never wanted to speak with me again. I made peace with that.

James rolled around sluggishly and let out a grunt. He stood up and disbelievingly told me "You're still here. You should go to dinner."

"Come with me." I promptly told him, leaving the Room of Requirement, and he groggily followed suit.

* * *

James quickly put on a brave face and a wide grin crept up on his lips, but anyone paying attention easily saw through it.

"Hey mate, is everything alright?" Sirius asked him. I knew the Marauders knew the answer to that question but I was sure James appreciated them not violating is privacy, and letting him tell them what happened on his own time instead.

"Of course, Padfoot" James shot him a sneaky grin. "Did McGonagall give you hell?"

"Nah, but she is expecting the new rounds schedule by the next class." Remus added, wrinkling his nose.

"Did you lot hand in my essay?" I asked, smiling at them.

"Yeah Evans, don't worry about it." Sirius turned to James "You, on the other hand, my boy, are in deep shit. She wants to know why you didn't bother to send yours along with Evans'."

"S'alright, I'll talk to her" James responded. Absentmindedly I nodded at his words. There was no way McGonagall wasn't going to forgive him this one.

The five of us fell into a comfortable silence as we ate dinner: carrot soup, pork ribs and three kinds of potatoes. With pumpkin juice for drinks and pudding or treacle tart for dessert, meals at Hogwarts tasted like angels. Not that I have ever eaten an angel; that would be counterproductive.

"You're all awful quiet today." Peter munched on his mashed potatoes. No one said anything.

"Hey…" all four heads turned to me "I think I am going to go now, I need to talk to Marlene about her lunch with Lucas." I lamely added, shooting a smirk at Sirius, who had his mouth full of pudding.

I stood up and left the Great Hall, ready to climb the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower, to meet Marlene and Alice in my old dormroom.

* * *

"Password?" The Fat Lady asked me.

"Chocolate Frogs" I replied. I am lucky to be Head Girl because otherwise I wouldn't be able to get inside the common room, since Marlene forgot to give me the password. I climbed the stairs until the 7th year girls dormitory and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Dorcas Meadows, one of the 7th years told me. I stepped inside and immediately found Marlene by the vanity.

"Hey Marls, Dorcas." I nodded politely and smiled at them. Dorcas was always a sweet girl, but somehow, I never bonded with her the way I did with Alice or Marlene. "Why are you covered in makeup?" I asked, confused by the sudden outburst of color in Marlene's face.

"I am trying on makeup." Marlene shot me a cheeky grin "Lucas asked me to go to Hogsmead with him next Saturday." She told me, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I guess Black owes me a pack of chocolate fudge."

"_Fudge_…" I muttered under my breath. Of course!

"What was that?" She asked curious. Marlene finally turned her head to see me.

"Mind if I borrow your owl? I need to send mom something." By the time, Dorcas had already left. She was a beater for the Gryffindor Team and I guess they were going to have practice now. They shouldn't be flying after dinner though, but perhaps it was just Gryffindor nerve.

"Sure, go ahead." I scribbled a quick note for mom and sent it off in the careful paws of Leeyana.

"Thanks." I quickly turned to her "But a date with _Bell_? You've outdone yourself Marls! Have you looked at that _hair_!?" Besides being a Ravenclaw Prefect we was one of **the** most attractive bloques in our year, with his dreamy blue eyes and blonde hair, only beat by very few.

"No one can resist Marlene McKinnon, have you noticed?" Marlene winked at me through the mirror. "They all want a piece of _this_." She gestured towards her body.

"I still do resist your charm." I threw my head, letting out an unattractive snort "I should get going, we need to make new patrol partners. McGonagall is on top of me and James." I told her truthfully.

"Well, if _McGonagall_ is on top of you then I underestimated your charm, Lils." She shot me her trademark cheeky smirk, the little shit.

"_Goodbye_ Marlene!" I closed the door as I left and directed myself towards the Head Common Room to work on the schedules.

* * *

As soon as I arrived to the room I looked out the window. It was raining like crazy, and I couldn't help but fear for the safety of huh… the team.

I sat down at the round table that was in the center of the room. I was drowning in work, just like every other seventh year. Head Duties were the least of my concerns, really. If I wanted to be an Auror I needed to get top marks and it was getting more and more difficult as the year went on. _We barely even had time to _sleep! No wonder half of the school walked around like bloody zombies.

I turned on my record player and chose a Beatles vinyl. I had always preferred Muggle music to Wizard music, and I had no idea why. It was like my mother's cooking. Yes, the House Elves did a wonderful job, but it never tasted quite like mom's.

I took the existing Prefects rounds schedule out of my book bag and poured over it. If I just switched Snape for Hanna Baker, everyone'd be happy. Lucas would be with the Slytherin Prefect and Hanna with Remus. I noticed today I had rounds with James. I knew he would be exhausted, but McGonagall would give him trouble if he missed out on his duties.

* * *

Over two hours passed, it was already nine twenty and I was growing more and more concerned. James hadn't shown up yet, and rounds were supposed to begin in ten minutes. As soon as I finally finished my Potions homework, the tired figure that belonged to James Potter barged in.

"Ready for rounds?" I asked him, sending a tired smile his way. "I know you must be tired, but I wouldn't make you if you really didn't have to go. You look awful." He snorted.

"Let's just go, Evans." I noticed how he hadn't talked to me with the disdain usually present on his voice, just tiredness. I guess we really _were_ friends now. I was still trying to wrap my mind about that decision.

"Let me just grab my robes." By the time he arrived I had already stripped off of them, for the heat coming out of the fireplace was a little too much to bear with them on.

We stepped through the portrait and begun our way up the Left Hall on the third floor.

"Why do you guys practice so late?" I tried making polite conversation. I still had no idea how to act around him. "And with this weather! Dorcas was already sick, poor thing."

"We need to be ready when we face Slytherin next Sunday." He told me like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which probably was.

"Well, it's no use practicing so hard if none of you show up to the game, is it?" I smiled at him. I figured he didn't need my pity right now, and a little bit of harmless banter never hurt anyone, did it? I think not.

"You are something else, Evans." He shook his head. His stomach complained loudly. "Merlin, I'm starving."

"Even your body agrees with me." I smirked "Wanna swing by the kitchens?" James' eyes widened.

"You know how to get in the kitchens?"

"You Marauders are not the only ones who get hungry in the middle of the night, did you know? Just… just tickle the pear, right?"

"Why Evans, I thought you knew how to get in." He smirked at me, like he'd just beat me at my own game.

"Oh shut it, will you?" A smile, short but genuine, tugged at the corner of James' lips. I tickled the stone fruit and the kitchens' door swung open. Daisy, one of the House Elves greeted us in an enthusiastic manner. "Hey Daisy!" The House Elf smiled widely, her ears sticked out and she asked me if '_I wanted anything, Ms. Evans_.' I asked her for a mug of hot chocolate while James asked if he could have a bit of treacle tart.

"Thank you so much miss." James winked and Daisy beamed at him.

"Anytime Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans. Have a good night!"

"You too Daisy." I bid her goodbye and we finally left for some proper rounds. It astonished me how James was so nice to Daisy, even though he was positively miserable. I mean, who wouldn't be after receiving such news, but still, it was impressive. I am sure I, had it been me in his place, would shut myself in my room and not talk to anyone for at least a full weekend.

* * *

During rounds we didn't do much, mostly small talked and busted some couples out of broom closets.

"I am telling you, Potter, I swear I saw her knickers!" We both laughed, even though we were exhausted. I was just stepping up the stairs that led to my room when Potter called me from across the room.

"Look… um… I know, thanks to our… _history_" he carefully put it. I felt the need to snort but contained myself. He wasn't asking me _out_, was he? "It might be too much of me to ask you this, but since I received that letter, I hadn't felt this good. I don't really want to be alone right now." James admitted. I thanked the heavens in relief. "Mind having a sleepover here in the common room?" He asked me hopefully. I couldn't say no to him, at least not today. And it wasn't like we would be doing anything, really. Just some harmless sleep. I probably wouldn't sleep though.

"Sure, huh… Let me just go put on my pajamas, alright? You do the same." I turned around and quickly stepped through my door, carefully shutting it. I undressed myself from my robes and quickly put on my only pajamas. I usually slept in nothing but a nightie, for the bed covers were warm and there were always heating charms available. I wasn't going to let him see me in one of those though.

When I came down, I noticed James had already opened the couch and was in a set of pajamas that matched mine (I had put on the Gryffindor pair they gave me in the first year, after the House Sorting. Unneeded it was to say that I hadn't grown much since.)

"I made the couch for you. I will sleep on the floor, alright?" He gestured towards a bed of blankets next to the carpet. I was not going to let him sleep there. I wouldn't let anyone – alright, some slimy Slytherins could stay on the floor for all I cared – sleep like that with a perfectly sized bed available.

"You mad? I am not going to let you sleep on the floor!" I told him, shaking my head.

"Really, it's okay."

"I am not though. When I want something, I usually get it, remember?"

"Alright, if you insist." he chuckled "I do steal the covers, though." James warned me.

"Well, I'll kick my way through it." I smiled at him, and he did the same right back at me.

Instead of sleeping right away, I turned on my record player once more and we both sat at the back of the sofa, staring at the fireplace.

"Are you going to tell them?" I turned to James, concerned.

"Eventually, of course." He continued to stare in front. "I just don't feel ready to tell Sirius. I know he looked at them like his own. I don't know how he would want to get the news. Certainly not through a letter." James half snorted, half scoffed. I wish I knew how to help.

"You are going to have to talk to him, you know? Right now let's just go to sleep, alright?"

"Alright, Evans." Neither of us moved.

"Well…" I began. "Goodnight James."

The lights went out, the fire extinguished itself and the record stopped playing. Me and James lied down and it was all incredibly awkward.

"Goodnight Lily."

It was all incredibly awkward. Incredibly awkward. But somehow, listening to James breathing, I managed to calm myself and fall asleep.

* * *

The sun peeked through the curtains, and pleasantly noticed it was just about 9 o'clock but I wasn't in my room! I looked around and almost instantly noticed James' body intertwined with mine. Somehow, during the night, we managed to get all tangled up. As soon as I lifted my head, I saw Sirius Black, lying on the door, smirking down at us.

* * *

**A/N: **Soooooooooo, did you like it? Are you enjoying the characterization? The dialogue? Is it moving too fast? Is it good? Bad? Did it make you feel anything at all? What are your theories? Let me know!

Love,

Adriana


	5. Of Lies and Drunk Boys

Hullo! I'm back! Thank you so much for all the positive feedback! It really means a lot to me! I took a little longer writing this one - and it isn't even as long as the last two, just barely over 2550 words - but I really wanted to get it up as soon as possible. I am not sure how long it will take me to write the next one, because I am back at school now, but hopefully it should be up in what, 2 weeks? Let's set that goal. I really hope you guys enjoy this one!

* * *

"Mooorning." He said, winking. "You finally came down to your senses? He's not that bad?"

"It's not like that." I told Sirius. It wasn't. We just slept, in the most innocent meaning of the word. "And speak softer, you'll wake Potter up."

"Then what is it like?" Sirius was still sporting a cheeky grin. "Oy, Prongs!"

James rolled around and reached for his glasses. "What the shitting shit is going on here?"

"Apparently, you and Evans here slept together and darling Lily is trying to deny it." He told his best friend, lifting his eyebrows.

"Well, she is denying it, because it's true. We didn't sleep together. I mean, we did, but we just slept." I couldn't help but notice the deep bags under his eyes. I know he slept alright, but he has still got to be mentally exhausted. I would hate to be in his place. Or Sirius', by the looks of it.

"And why was that?" James didn't answer him, instead, he just looked at the floor and started stripping himself. We were kind of late, had Sirius not woken us up and we could have stayed like that, sleeping forever. "Just wait until I write dad about it! He's gonna be so proud, his son finally got some balls and talked to Evans like a normal person!" Sirius smirked, still not knowing about any of the things going on, about any of the deafening feelings present on the room.

By the time I heard him talk about Mr. Potter, I knew what was going to happen. James was going to tell him, and I wasn't going to stick around to watch. One emotional Marauder was one too many for me. I had no idea how to handle this situation, nor how I got in it. Well, that I knew; I just didn't know why.

* * *

I walked down to the Great Hall for Breakfast and quickly spotted Marlene and Alice. I sat down across them and we made polite small talk. My mind was still stuck in the two black haired boys upstairs.

"Morning Lily." Alice positively beamed at me. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, but how about you? You look so happy!" I told her with as much excitement I could muster.

"Oh, you know, nothing too exciting… Just happy to finally go to Hogsmead this weekend… You know, with, uh, Frank." She blushed profusely at that.

"Oh my god 'Lice! That's fantastic!" I decided, it wouldn't hurt to try to be that girl, just this time, for Alice, of course "I am so so happy for you!"

We continued chatting enthusiastically and suddenly it was ten o'clock and we had to run to Defense.

* * *

The whole day passed in a blur. In Defense we worked on the theory for the Patronus Charm. If we were under an ordinary atmosphere, we wouldn't even work on it, for it is a very difficult kind of magic, and most wizards can never manage to do it, let alone some seventh years. However, with the war brewing Professor Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers decided we ought to be prepared for what awaits outsider the castle. Professor Flitwick stopped by too, him being the Charms teacher and all. In Potions everything looked more sullen than usual. I received my grade and somehow, I managed to get na E! That was truly the highest point of my day, so far, at least.

James didn't show up, and neither did Sirius. Remus and Peter both looked depressing the entire time, while in class. During the breaks I couldn't even find them. Not that I was looking, no sir. I wonder how it went though. I decided it was something I could not change, and therefore I shouldn't worry too much about it. But then I remembered James' tears on my white button-up, and how deep the bags under his eyes were. Two people died. Two that I know of personally anyway. I have always read the obituary section on the Prophet, but it all always seemed too far away. Not now, though, no, now it hit too close to home.

Sirius finally showed up for Supper; James didn't. I hate to say this, but Sirius looked even worse than James did. His hair was all mussed up, instead of it's usually combed shiny look, his shirt was unbuttoned and he hadn't even bothered to put on his Gryffindor scarf.

He sat at the most distant and alone possible place of the whole House Table.

* * *

Not wanting to see that, I stood up, and took off, up to the Head Dorm to get my books for Astronomy, later that night. I was not ready for the sight that met me as soon as I stepped into the Common Room I shared with James. The Head Boy was positively asleep, sprawled on the unmade couch, shirtless and probably drunk. I could tell, not only by the stench of Firewhiskey in the air or the broken glass bottle on the floor, but because he was sleeping on top of his glasses. Usually, he was always really careful with them. If I were nearly blind without some, I'd be really wary of breaking them, too.

"Accio." I summoned the vase present on top of the table, threw the flowers in the fire and dumped the water on top of James' sleeping body.

"Argh!" He screamed "D'ya wan' meh to die from hypothermia, uh Evanss?" My suspicions were confirmed when he slurred his words. Completely, undeniably, irrefutably drunk.

"Shower. Now." God, I felt like his mother. I scolded myself mentally for letting that thought cross my mind. Of course he would need a mother now. The one that gave birth to him was dead. He just felt lost, confused, angry, probably guilty. No. Knowing James – not that I knew him that well – but from what everyone who ever talked to him could guess, he was definitely feeling guilty, above all other emotions.

"Wanna shower with meh pumkin'?" His smirk attempt failed miserably. I stripped James – only to his underwear, I'm not a perv! – and put him in the bathtub.

"Nah, just sober up." Suddenly, I forgot all about his drunken half-asleep state just like both curiosity and concern; I really wanted to ask him how the infamous talk went, but then again, he should probably get a little more awake before he dove into that story-telling business.

I left James to shower. We had Astronomy later that day, so it was important that he was nice and sober, and that he had let out everything. I knew I should have talked to Sirius too, but it wouldn't feel right. I knew Sirius preferred being alone after getting bad news – I learned that when his Uncle Alphard died – and I had heard the whole death ordeal from James, so I guessed I should listen to him first. He walked out of the bathroom, with his glasses a little foggy. His hair was damp and instead of the usual crooked grin he was sporting a frown, and not a playful one.

"How'd it go?" I asked him. I really was concerned. James and Sirius were like brothers, like real, blood brothers. And that meant sharing the rest of the family. James' aunt Vivian usually referred to Sirius as his favorite nephew. Sirius had told me all of this. I spent the summer after Fifth Year with him, trying to escape Severus' attention. That was when we really bonded, and he was one of my very best friends. James still hadn't responded. I looked over and he had sat down on the scarlet sofa, right next to me. His presence was so heavy I could never ignore it. "Really, tell me."

"Well, Lily, the thing is…" I drunk his every word as I listened to him talk.

* * *

_"__What was all that about?__" __Sirius looked at James with a sharp look. __"__It__'__s what, the first time you haven't bragged about your Lily Quest?__"_

_James was losing is patience. __"__It wasn__'__t like that! Do you trust me on this or not?__" __Sirius was such a stubborn ass. If he kept pressing the issue, he would have to tell his mate all about everything, and he really was hoping he could keep him in the dark a little longer. It__'__s not that he wanted to lie, but he hated seeing the people he cared about getting hurt._

_"__Well, I can__'__t, when you__'__re lying to my face!__" __Sirius shouted. A bright purple vein on his neck was throbbing __"__Why won__'__t you trust me? For fuck__'__s sake James!__"_

_"__I was feeling under the weather and she was there. I really didn__'__t want to be alone in my room, we just slept." James conceded. This was how much he was going to let on. Not one more word on the subject. He looked around – they had already managed to come up to his room, and he couldn__'__t remember who had slammed the door __– __and__saw the letter lying under his bed. In a swift move he kicked it under the furniture, but Sirius__' __sharp reflexes caught on to that._

_"__What is that?__" __The grey-eyed boy asked his best friend __"__What are you hiding from me Prongs?__" __He almost looked hurt. Well, it pained James too to be hiding such big news, but it was for the best._

_He should have guessed. He should have known Sirius would press the issue, because that was exactly how Sirius was. If he knew something was up, he wouldn__'__t rest easy until he figured it out "It__'__s nothing, really, it's-__" __James tried to hide it. It was all crumbling down around him. His mate would find out, he would hurt and blame him for hiding it._

_"__Bullshit, James!__" __Sirius quickly ducked and picked up the letter. Hastily, he opened it and started reading. Pretty soon his eyes were glistening and his pupils were wide. You could see, just from his expression, the part of the letter he was in; the look on the young Black was unmistakable. Rather than grief, it was horror. And so much guilt. __"__Why?__Why would you keep this from me?__" __He was shaking._

_For the first time, James had no idea what to say or how to act next to Sirius. __"__I am sorry, I just-"_

_"__You just what Prongs?__"_

_"__I had no idea what to say! Or how to say it! And I am sorry, alright?__" __They were known for their mischief, but above all their friendship. The barely fought, but when they did, things could get pretty ugly __– __you could just think about the Full Moon Incident. No one knew why, but they hadn't talked to each other for weeks. __"__I really am, just, god, Padfoot.__"_

_"__I know they were your parents, ok? I know that. But they were my family too! This is the second set of parents I__'__ve lost!__" __Sirius was full on sobbing then. It was so hard for James to see his best friend like that. Then Sirius started to laugh __"__You know what? Dear old mum probably killed them! Or was it my great father? So proud of themselves…" He started to mutter something James could not really catch onto, but he recognized __'__tortured' and __'__fun__'__._

_"__I am sorry, again. I am not going to apologize anymore though. I knew this would happen.__" __He really did __"__I just wanted to keep it from you so you would not have to spend your time moping around mum and dad! They wouldn__'__t want that. You know I regret hiding it from you. I just didn't want you to get hurt."_

_Sirius__' __expression softened __"__I know Prongs. I would've liked to have been given the choice, though. We__'__re good.__" __They both knew they were alright. James was sorry and Sirius understood his best friends__' __actions. It was all good __"__But I really need to be alone right now. I__'__m sure you know what I mean.__" __It could be his imagination playing tricks on him, but James could swear that last sentence had a bitter taste to it._

* * *

"…And then he just left, Lils. And he hasn't come back." James was exhausted, I could tell. I had no idea what to do, what to say.

I figured, calming his nerves and concern was probably a safe bet. "Well, if that makes you feel better, he did come to supper. He was as drunk as you were, but I wouldn't worry too much about it."

"I am just done, you know?" James sighed "I know this must be hard for him, I lied to him. But I am so done moping around. My parents wouldn't want it, but I can't let them go if Sirius doesn't too. Let's just go to Astronomy."

* * *

James was his own character. He was nice, and he was brave, and he would do anything for his friends. He was a good leader, and a good listener, but he was immature, and sometimes he was selfish, and he had an awful temper. With James, you never knew where you stood. You would know if he liked you or if he didn't, but never more than that. For every bit of outgoing in him, there were two reserved parts. Unless you were in, you could never look inside his brain. That was what the Marauders represented for him; Sirius, Remus and Peter were his brothers. And they just lost someone.

I dwelled on the subject the whole trip up the Astronomy Tower. Sirius was there; he had taken a shower – his hair was clean – and he'd shaved, and his tie sat nicely on his shirt. Then James took off and met him, and they hug and sat down and then the teacher walked in.

* * *

**A/N: **How do you feel about this chapter? Did you like it, or did you hate it? What were your thoughts on this? Do you feel like James did the right thing? Should Sirius have hold the grudge a little longer? I know I hate two Marauders separated! And I am really digging Lily right now, I think she was really caring - cannonly - but that she didn't put up with anyone's crap. But because I am a lame writer sometimes I can't portray the characters like they are in my mind. So, please review!

Love,

Adriana


	6. Of Revelations and Firewhiskey

Hey guys, I'm back! Thank you so so much for the amazing feedback! I hope you enjoy this one!

Disclaimer: Not Rowling *sobs*

* * *

Nothing too exciting happened this week. James and I slept in the common room the next two days but after that we went back to our own rooms and that was it.

The next day was Saturday, and it was a Hogsmeade weekend. Cormac, one of the seventh year Hufflepuffs asked me to go with him but I wasn't feeling like going on a date. Marlene and Alice were both going with someone, so I was probably just going to hang out with the Marauders. I usually stayed with Alice but since she is going with Frank… I drifted off to sleep pretty easily, since I was exhausted from school, and the whole James business.

* * *

I woke up really excited, without any apparent reason, I was just really happy to go to Hogsmeade with some friends. One thing I loved about Remus, James, Peter and Sirius was that, they were the biggest friends, but whenever you hung out with them, they never made you feel like you didn't belong there, they made special care to include you in the activities and conversations.

As I rolled out of bed, my left foot got stuck in the sheets and I fell with my face on the floor. _That is going to leave a mark_, I thought. It was early November, but in Scotland it was already getting chilly, so I put on my favorite pair of jeans and a blue sweater and quickly brushed my teeth and hair.

Just as I strolled down to the Great Hall – we usually met there before every Hogsmeade trip – I came across Severus.

"What's a little Mudblood like you doing around here all by herself?" He asked me, testing my temper. I tried walking past him, not saying anything but he got a hold of my wrist and yanked me back. "Trying to leave, are we? It's not very polite to ignore our friends, Evans…"

I quickly escaped his strong hold "Say hi to _dad_ for me, will you?" I quickened my pace as I left Snape's dumbstruck figure behind. I know it was wrong of me to bring up someone as cruel has Snape's father, but the bastard was asking for it. Long gone were the days I put up with bullies and such.

* * *

"Hey guys!" I cheerfully greeted everyone. For once, Marlene wasn't with Lucas, Lucas was with Marlene, sitting at the Gryffindor table. However, Frank and Alice were nowhere to be seen. Sirius claimed they had picked up the early carriages to the village. "Hi Lucas." I smiled at him.

"What are you doing today Lily?" Peter asked me.

"I don't know, I am just going to hang out in the village, maybe pick up some new quills?" I had been lusting over a beautiful black quill – the feather belonged to a crow, I didn't care how morbid that sounded – that was supposed to make the ink waterproof.

"Just come with us, Evans" Sirius told me with a grin "_We_ need to have a quick chat" the young Black laughed.

"Alright, alright Sirius." I blew my red hair off my face and smiled "I just need to go by the Owlery, if that's okay. I'll meet you all outside, just… five minutes."

I stepped off of the table and headed to the South side of the castle, where the Owlery was. I had a really good feeling, otherwise, I wouldn't have woken up so excited.

I turned left and walked behind an old Rowena Ravenclaw tapestry. It was one of the fastest secret passages I had found in my time at Hogwarts. By the time I got out of the tunnel I had nearly gotten to the Owlery door. You could be a first year on the first week in the castle and you would know that you were near the birds. You could hear them from afar, and frankly, you could smell them.

The little Brown owl I had sent my mom to get my reply – Marlene's owl was too impatient to wait for the answer and came back as soon as she dropped my note – was here, with a lovely gray package sitting right next to it. I told you, I had a feeling. I gave the little owl a sickle and left the Owlery, it reeked!

After only ten minutes of being alone, I was reunited with the Marauders. Marlene and Lucas had already taken a carriage and were probably just arriving.

"Sorry I made you guys wait." I carefully hid the gray box behind my back and hopefully the cloak would cover it completely. I didn't even know why I was hiding it – or at least I thought I didn't.

* * *

We arrived to Hogsmeade and walked down the streets. The leaves were all kinds of yellow, red and brown, even though most of them were on the floor instead of on the branches – another sign that winter was coming with large and loud steps.

I had always liked looking inside every store; it filled me with happiness to see everyone holed up in the warm buildings. It reminded me of the holidays, when I was at home, with the fireplace on, reading a book in my dad's office.

Sirius, Remus and Peter were every bit as excited as I was – Sirius always managed to surprise me. Just the other day he was looking awful and now it looked like he had swept everything under the rug. He always did that, he never dwelled on the things he couldn't change, he just accepted them; well, except when it was about Regulus, his younger brother.

James, however, even if he wasn't moping around, you could easily see he was still shaken up.

You could even see it then – while the other Marauders were nearly jumping around Hogsmeade, James was left behind, half walking, half dragging his feet around. I slowed down my pace and walked beside him.

"Here." I took the package from outsider my cloak and placed it in his hands.

James was clearly confused, I could tell. He was always so easy to read…

I quickly explained him, trying to hide the blush spreading across my cheeks "Well, uh… You told me you hoped you could go home this Christmas and eat your mum's fudge… but you can't… well, obviously" I scolded myself. Damn you redheaded genes! "so, um… I kind of, uh, owled my mum and asked her to bake some, so… uh, here."

I couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough. James didn't thank me. In fact, he hadn't said anything all morning. His eyes were shiny and his glasses were crooked. He continued not saying anything; Instead, he kept glancing at me the whole day, and looked away every time I met his gaze.

Oddly enough, none of the boys asked him about it; hell, I didn't think they'd even noticed.

"Hey, Remus, wait up!" I called. Lupin was just getting into Scrivenshaft's and I really wanted to pick up that crow quill, and maybe one of the beautiful notebooks they sold. In Hogwarts, we never really used notebooks, the teachers preferred parchment but I enjoyed doodling… a lot.

* * *

"So, Evans."

"So, Black." I played along.

"What are your _intentions_?" He told me seriously. Well, at least it looked like Sirius was being… serious.

I started to chuckle while he looked at me like I was barking mad – which I probably was.

"What do you mean… _intentions_?"

"I mean, you slept with James." What?!

"I did not! What are you even saying?!" I was furious! He knew what really happened!

He probably figured that I was starting to blow a fuse, because he quickly told me to "Calm down, woman, I know you just slept! Merlin!"

"Then what are you implying, Sirius?" Honestly, I had no idea. Besides constantly surprising me, Sirius constantly infuriated me. It didn't help that I got mad with very, very little.

"Why did you even help him?" He looked genuinely confused and lost "I mean, you haven't even looked in his direction in like, three years! What changed?" I felt the imminent accusation. I knew that Sirius thought I was just pitying James, and in all honesty, I kind of thought that too, for a while. But it's not true.

"Well, he's grown up. You'd know." Sirius looked taken back by my sudden sharpness.

"What d'you mean, I'd know?"

"Well, he saved Snape, and he managed to forgive you. He put other's well being above his hatred for Snape. He was very selfless, and I admire that."

"What? He saved Snape? What are you talking about?" Sirius was clearly trying to fool me, but I could see past his mask.

"You don't need to lie, you know… I _know_."

"You know? What do you know?" A frightened look was now dancing on his face and I could tell this was a very uncomfortable situation for him.

"I know about Remus." Sirius' jaw dropped, and he was preparing to interrupt me, when I started speaking again. "I know about Remus, and I don't care. He's my friend, he's just got a little thing."

"How long have you known?" His voice was hoarse and his pupils were dilated.

"Since about the end of fourth year? I am surprised more people haven't figured that out yet." It was true. His mother was sick every full moon, and 'Moony' was not really the most discrete nickname.

To say that Sirius was surprised would have been a major understatement. He was positively flabbergasted.

He'd stopped dead on his track before we rearranged his features into his trademark smirk and looked down on me. "You are alright, Lily Evans."

"Yeah, well, tell me something I don't know!" At this, Sirius broke down laughing.

Peter, James and Remus all looked at us like we were insane, but I could see something else, some other feeling flickering across James' hazel eyes. I didn't know how I could see them from so afar.

I started jogging towards them, leaving Sirius behind me and I nearly knocked Remus down with my embrace. All I could hear was Sirius' shouts.

"Nicely done, Evans, leave me alone to _die_!" Oh Sirius, always the drama queen.

Besides him, everyone looked at me, confused by my sudden outburst of affection.

"What?" I flicked my hair behind my shoulders. It was getting a little longer now, which I appreciated since the weather was getting colder by the week. "Remus is my friend, and I love him for who he is. Badly behaved rabbits included."

Sirius continued laughing like a maniac. James and Peter started chuckling too – let me explain it; the marauders used to tell people he had a furry little problem, and lots of them were under the impression remus owned an hyperactive rabbit – but Remus' face was now drained of color. He looked like he had just seen a ghost.

"You know? And… You're okay with this?" I could tell he was scared "Who told you? You could stop talking to me, if you'd like, I'd be oka-"

"I know." I rolled my eyes at him. "I've known for a long time and it's alright. You are still you. And if I've been okay with it for nearly three years now, I don't think I'd stop now. Do you?"

* * *

From that point of the afternoon – time was flying by! None of us even realized we'd skipped lunch altogether – the conversation flew by smoothly. Our day was back to our easy-going atmosphere and we kind of walked in on Frank and Alice – Sirius and Peter teased them merciless – Alice's cheeks were redder than my hair!

Mostly, we strolled around the village, and, quoting Sirius "blessing everyone with the sight of us", ate some Cauldron Cakes and drank some Butterbeer. Sirius nicked a bottle of Firewhiskey and we were headed to the castle for a sleepover in the Head Common Room. Marlene was also coming with us, she told us she was just gonna hang out with Lucas for a little while and that she'd meet us there.

* * *

The fireplace was lit, the couches were filled with blankets, the Firewhiskey bottle was on the table and we were all glad to have a night off our problems, duties and all, just to hang out and spend some time with each other. It had been a while since we'd last done that.

"Let's play Never Have I Ever!" Peter suggested and I instantly found myself nodding. It was one of my all time favorite games.

I remembered playing it with Marlene and Alice in second year using chocolate milk. I think that it's one of my favorite memories, because we really bonded that night; just a couple of twelve year olds on a chilly winter night. Alice's grandma had just passed and me and Marls really wanted to cheer her up.

Everyone was on board, so we grabbed the liquor bottle, a couple of glasses – we used to fill them with water on the Prefect meetings – and Sirius poured a little bit in each one.

We gathered up in a circle, and each one of us had a glass in front of ourselves. I was squished between Sirius and Remus and James was right in front of me. He still hadn't looked me in the eye.

"Okay, I'll start." Sirius proposed. "Never have I ever skinny-dipped."

Marlene and I toasted and drank the contents of our glasses.

"Lily!" Peter was laughing so hard his cheeks looked like they might explode.

"What is here, stays here, Wormtail." Sirius nodded at the group while winking at me.

"Okay, my turn." I listened to Peter's voice. I was re-filling mine and Marlene's glasses. "Never have I ever kissed a guy." The grin on his face was mischievous.

Like expected, me and Marlene both drank. So did James and Sirius.

"WHAT?! Oh my god!" We all started laughing at this, while they both blushed furiously.

"We were drunk and bored. Let's just not, alright?" By then, they too were laughing out loud. It felt good to see James like that, happy. I knew it was a mask, though. The bags under his eyes were getting worse and worse as the days passed. I guess keeping a facade is exhausting. "Plus, he's my brother. His spit's my spit."

"You do realize" I started "That sentence right there, is probably the grossest thing you have ever said, did you know that?" Marlene snorted.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Oddly enough, Sirius wasn't smirking, not even grinning; His smile was as wide as the sun. See, this right there was the reason I loved these evenings so much – we were all so happy when we were around each other. "Your turn, Lupin."

His voice was deeper than the other boys' "Never have I ever…" Remus paused, and his cheeks were a little pink "had sex with someone."

Marlene drank; predictable. Sirius drank; typical. Peter drank; "WHAT?!" I exploded and immediately felt bad. Just because he was on the chubbier, shier side didn't mean people – myself included – should assume things about him. And James… was a virgin? I'd never would have guessed it, so it came as a shock to me, even if no one else seemed surprised by that revelation.

Seeing the look on my face, Marlene rolled over laughing and accidentally hit James in the face. He bit her. "Ow! Bloody ow!"

It was my turn to talk. I didn't even know why, since we weren't doing it in any particular order, but with us things were often decided telepathically. "Oh well. Um…" My brain searched frantically for something to say. "Never have I ever…" My mind was completely blank. Then I decided to just be real. "Been in love."

For the second time that night, James picked up his glass and drank.

* * *

**A/N: **Did you likeeeeeee it? Hopefully you did! No, don't worry, they are not getting together too soon. And there's actually an explanation for Lily's previous hate towards James, so it's not like she just decided to be his friend all of a sudden, no sir. You'll just have to wait and see ;)

So, review, and tell me your opinion on this chapter, or the whole fanfiction so far! Maybe share this in your social media if you want ahahaha ^-^

Love,

Adriana


	7. Of Backstories and Quidditch

**A/N: **Hullo! How is everyone! Thank you so much for the brilliant response you have been giving this fanficiton!

Special thanks to **mylongbottoms**, **j-jip**, and **cokeer** for the brilliant reviews!

But honestly, thank you so much! This story is about a month old and already has 25 reviews and 35 follows!

This is my longest chapter ever! Over 3200+ words! Hope you enjoy it!

**Disclaimer: **None of the characters or world are mine, since I am not Joanne, obviously.

* * *

No one noticed – at least I didn't think anyone did – but I was tense for the rest of the night. And I knew exactly why. It wasn't like me to get so worked up – well, unless it was out of anger. But James had always managed to bring out my fiery temper.

We drank some more, and I was just a little over tipsy. Sirius, Marlene and Remus were awful drunk, Peter had passed out half an hour ago but I remembered James hadn't touched his drink except from the two times he drank while playing. I was certain he had a good reason for it, but I simply couldn't recall it.

I was incredibly shocked to hear James' words "Come with me."

We climbed the stairs that led to his room – boys couldn't climb the stairs to the girls' dormitory – and stood there in some weird form of an awkward silence. I mean, it was supposed to feel awkward, but it didn't, it just felt comfortable. James felt comfortable. I felt like I could tell him anything. I guess old habits die hard.

"I never really got the chance, you know…" James' eyes were as bright as could be and his lips were slightly parted on a smile "Thank you. For the fudge, that is. It meant a lot to me." And then he started rambling like he knew exactly what he wanted to say, but he didn't know how to do it. "I didn't think you'd actually listen to me, y'know?" He chose his words carefully. "You were just so uptight I forgot how good of a friend you used to be."

James used to be one of my best friends, just like Severus. To say they didn't get along would be an understatement. They always tried to rob me from the other – _well, you know what I mean_ – but just like Snape had ended our friendship in fifth year, so did James, in the beginning of my fourth year at Hogwarts.

I guess that's why I held onto Snape's friendship for so long, even after I'd realized it was rotten. I didn't want to lose someone else. That's also why I made myself hate James' guts. It wasn't like me to hate people without reasoning.

"Why did we stop?" But I knew. And so did he. "We were such a good team."

"I hurt you." His face was solemn and his voice was sad. "I wish that I hadn't. Especially after you've gone out of your way to cheer me up."

His words hit me like a brick, and all the memories came back to me in a flood of raw emotion. **Longing.**

* * *

It was the fourth year, the end of September. Even if I was best friends with Severus Snape, we always kept our friendly touches to a minimum. While Severus introduced me to this world, somewhere I could finally belong in, he was always at arms length. It wasn't my choice, it was his, and I understood and respected it. Because of the abuse of his father, physical relationships had always bothered him.

James Potter was my other best friend. With him, things were very different. Of course, I condemned his behavior towards Slytherins, but usually I found his pranks rather amusing. On the other hand, he always fake-mocked me but was constantly making me laugh.

James had always been a very physical person. He wasn't afraid of touching others, he hugged and laughed a great deal, and it was always such a relaxed friendship, I cherished it.

And then one day, I woke up, and there was a note on my brown, wooden trunk "_Please don't find me. I can't talk to you anymore. It's best if you don't know why._" I ignored his words, I tried talking to him, I tried fixing everything but he wouldn't budge. He never looked at me, and he never answered; I was invisible. So I stopped finding him.

I never found out what happened. So I started to resent him. I blocked every happy memory, every piece of feeling and focused on his negative qualities, forgetting all the good ones.

* * *

"Yeah, well." I told him, faking a smile for both our sakes. "Remember what I told you that day? We're okay." And I realized just how much I meant it.

"I'm glad, Lily." He smiled at me, and then I was smiling too, and we were grinning at each other like complete idiots.

"How are you, Potter?" I asked him, concerned. "Really."

"I am getting better. Sirius helps. And you helped me, too. You've always meant a lot to me." His gaze shot to the floor and his face was flushed. "I really am sorry I hurt you."

"Nevermind it." I just wanted to put it past me. I was done moping for James Potter. "Let's just go check up on them, alright?"

"Alright, Evans."

* * *

Sirius Black had stripped down to his boxers and passed out on the table. Peter Pettigrew had just woken up and was now taking a shower in James' room. Remus and Marlene were playing Exploding Snap. McKinnon was missing an eyebrow and Lupin had a faint burn mark on his left cheek.

I decided to pick up my glass and to fill it with tap water from the bathroom. "What are you doing with them?" James asked me.

"Just let them crash here. Peter should be down soon." I reasoned. We were both talking through loud whispers, as impossible as that sounds. I wasn't looking in his way, but I could feel James' presence on the my doorstep. My back was facing him as I brushed my teeth in the least disgusting way I could manage.

"Are you going to sleep down there?" He raised one of his eyebrows. "_It reeks_."

It was true. The stench of alcohol filled up the air. "Probably not." Absolutely not. "I'm just going up to my bed. Goodnight."

* * *

Today I realized why James hadn't drunk basically anything last night – turns out, today Gryffindor was playing against Slytherin. I had no idea how I could forget, since, as a fan of the sport and Head Girl, I had to be on top of the school events.

The burning headache and dry throat reminded me. I couldn't hold my alcohol; a couple of sips and I was a goner.

Sirius was majorly hungover and James was freaking out about it. He was one of the best Beaters on the team and James needed him to be on his top form today. I saw him take not one, but two hangover potions and Black's eyes were instantly clearer.

The weather was nice, for the Scottish November. The sun wasn't as bright as I'd like it to be, but at least there weren't many clouds and the wind was soft – perfect for a match.

I made an effort to actually go to the game today, to show moral support. You would never guess it – because I never went to the games – but I did really enjoy Quidditch; I simply preferred to see it from the comfort and warmth of the library. One of the windows had the perfect view to the Quidditch Pitch.

As I was making my way to Breakfast, I saw James running towards me with a scarf in hand. "For good luck." Then he wrapped it carefully around my neck and took off before I could say anything back. _For good luck._

I was left wondering about my recently revived friendship. It was a very strange feeling, to have James back, all of a sudden. Because we were Head Boy and Girl, we had tried to be civil to each other, but a month in, I stopped making the effort, for it pained too much to even look him in the eye.

That still didn't explain how I had warmed up to him again so quickly. Or maybe it did. His parents' passing allowed me to view him again as the vulnerable kid I once knew and had tried to erase out of my memory. Not that one could ever forget James Potter entirely.

Still, it was all so dangerous; To let him in again. We were good, I'd said it so myself, but it was clear certain topics were still taboo. Fourth and Fifth Years were unheard of in any of our conversations since that fateful afternoon.

Lost in my thoughts, I missed anything exciting at breakfast, and I soon found myself on the stands. Marlene and Frank were also playing (Chaser and Beater) so I stood with Alice and Peter by my side; Remus was on the right arm of Pettigrew.

Me and Alice chatted excitedly about her date with the one and only Frank Longbottom, and it turns out, Frank finally plucked up some courage and they were now boyfriend and girlfriend.

"I am so happy for you Alice!" I told her truthfully. I really was. It was only fair at least one of us had emotional stability.

"He was so nice to me! A true gentleman!" Alice's beautiful blonde locks swayed in the wind as she spoke, but as soon as the commentator, Hestia Jones, a Ravenclaw sixth year, began talking our conversation died down.

Hestia's voiced boomed all through the Pitch. "And here they come! The Slytherin Team, led by Nott, Carrow, Avery, Yaxley, Greengrass, Rosier and their new seeker Black!"

The crowd applauded, but you could hear the booing coming from the Gryffindor portion of the stands.

"And now, the Gryffindors! Led by Head Boy James Potter, McKinnon, Hale, Prewett, Black, Longbottom and Meadows!" I whistled and screamed like I just got a voice, although I could barely hear myself.

Tyler Jordan walked around with a wooden case where people were placing bets. So far the odds were 3-2 to Gryffindor.

Whenever I watched Quidditch, my mind was completely focused on the game. I couldn't participate in conversations, hell, for all I knew, Pettigrew could have a stroke right beside me and I wouldn't notice; _something to work on_, I decided.

Both Team Captains opened up the game and fourteen spots of color shot straight into the air.

"And Gryffindor has the Quaffle, Potter to Longbottom, back to Potter…" Hestia's voice echoed "Avery just snatched the Quaffle! Ball to Carrow, to Nott who was just hit by a bludger! Nice shot from Sirius Black and James Potter scores! **Ten to Gryffindor**!"

James quickly ducked a bludger from Greengrass but Fabian was not so lucky and was hit in the arm. The Lions yelled words of encouragement and the keeper quickly returned to his post.

"Avery dives for the Quaffle but McKinnon passes the ball to Dylan Hale and **Gryffindor scores**!"

The crowd was going wild, but I knew the Slytherins usually let their opponents score a couple of times before bringing out the big guns.

"Nice bludger from Yaxley who just hit the Gryffindor seeker!" James ruffled his hair. How was he supposed to win a match without a hundred percent functioning seeker? Luckily, I knew Dorcas Meadows was a tough act to follow and would still play the game to her fullest.

* * *

Four hours had already passed and all fourteen players were still going strong! Gryffindor was losing by 130-110 and there was clear tension between the Black brothers.

"**And Nott scores**!" The Slytherin stand jumped and celebrated the game. "Nice way of distracting the the Quidditch Team, hitting the Scarlet Captain! Those slimy gits are forces to be reckoned with!"

"**JONES**!" McGonagall's voice threatened.

"Sorry, professor!" She apologized. _"Anyway…_ Foul bludger to the arm of the Slytherin Captain but that's Quidditch! Avery shoots but Prewett defents the goal! Ball to Potter and IS THAT THE SNITCH?! YES IT IS!"

The crowd was going wild. "Black is on the front but Meadows is right behind him! OW! Black just hit his Green Brother with a bludger and MEADOWS CAUGHT THE SNITCH! **GRYFFINDOR WINS**!"

The noise coming out of the stands - all four sides of them – was incredible.

The game had dragged on for the whole morning and a bit of the afternoon – the snitch was nowhere to be seen! – but it felt like just a couple of minutes passed! Both teams were constantly scoring and it was a really close match.

The players directed themselves to the locker room but not before James flew over to where I was standing with Remus – Alice had gone down to the locker room to meet with Frank and Peter had gone to lunch and hadn't returned yet.

"See? I told you it'd give us good luck." James smirked and winked at me. He high-fived Remus in a much more complicated than necessary manner, and as soon as he arrived, he was gone again.

"Where's Peter?" I asked Remus, with my eyebrows dangerously close to my hairline.

"Probably eating, if I had to guess." I couldn't agree more with him, but I had asked anyway. "What are you doing today?"

"Oh, I guess I'm going to be at the party."

"But we haven't set up anything! At least not yet, come." His fingers motioned me to follow him, so I did.

We navigated through the flood of students and rushed to the second floor of the castle. Remus delegated me the task to go into the kitchens and grab some food – treacle tart, cauldron cakes, and _lots_ of chocolate – while he went to Hogsmeade to retrieve some beverages. "Butterbeer and Pumpkin Juice only, I promise." But the wink that came with that promise assured me there would be liquor too.

I knew most people enjoyed Firewhiskey, but personally, as liquors go, I had always enjoyed the sweet taste in alcoholic drinks like Mead. Maybe that's why I preferred Muggle Alcohol. But the burning sensation Firewhiskey left in my throat too was pleasant; well, not the morning after, that's for sure.

I walked to the Head Common Room, as directed by Mr. Remus Lupin – often known as Moony – and began placing the food on the table. This would be a 7th year only Quidditch Party – I knew the younger students always had one of their own anyway, and as Head Girl, I didn't want to put the little kids near the alcohol. I'd only had my first drink last year!

I sat down on the red armchair and waited patiently for Remus to show up. I'd taken as many secret passages as I could to get to the common room before anyone else could show up.

I let my mind wonder off to less pleasant parts of my life. I'd been completely neglecting my friends! It was just James _this,_ Marauders _that…_ I felt like crap, because I couldn't remember the last time I was one hundred percent focused on either Marlene or Alice. I had no idea how Marls' relationship with Bell was going, and I'd shown next to none enthusiasm when Alice told me about her Hogsmeade trip with Frank.

Before I could begin to even contemplate the reasons for this change, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin barged in, hands full.

"Will you two calm down for a second?!" I screeched. I got up to help them place the glass bottles on the table, near the yummy foods I had brought here. "A little more and you'd have taken the door off it's hinges!"

"Sorry, we had our hands full, had to use my foot to push it open." Peter explained to me.

"Ah, s'alright, just, be careful yeah?" I smiled at the boys. "When is everyone coming?"

It was Remus who replied. "Anytime now." He shot me a grin.

"Alright, then. I am just going to change, be right back."

I excused myself and walked the stairs up to my room. Obviously, it was warmer inside than on the Pitch, and it wouldn't make any sense if I were to continue with my big violet coat on. I stroked James' scarf before taking it off and placing it on my desk.

It was wooden, but painted with a deep shade of scarlet. It actually doubled as a nightstand, because it was nearly the exact height of my four poster bed. This room was nothing like the one I occupied at home. Here, the theme was obviously wood and red, while in Surrey, the walls were painted a light blue color, and the curtains were white and flowy.

I took off my jacket and carefully placed it on my bed. For some reason, I decided it would be a fine idea to also change my top. The warm grey sweater I had on came off and was replaced by one of my favorite button ups. It was a deep maroon color and was one of the few shades that didn't clash horribly with my hair.

I put my hair in a ponytail and walked back to the common room. I didn't think I'd taken that much time, but by the time I got there, the party was already in full swing.

It wasn't that big of a mess – only the seventh years and the rest of the Quidditch Team – but all the space seemed to be taken.

I walked over to the table and grabbed a piece of chocolate fudge and a goblet of butterbeer. I noticed the bottle of Firewhiskey behind everything else, but I still appreciated the effort they put into it.

I looked around; For once, Sirius Black was actually standing up, instead of sprawled on the couch. Peter was sitting near the table, every possible food at arms length, and Remus was, along with James, sipping on their drinks near the lit up fireplace.

I walked over and greeted them. "Hi! Nice game!" What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to act around James, now that, all of a sudden, we were friends again? How much chill was _too_ chill?

"Oh, I have fate in the Team." James said, effortlessly nonchalant. "But I won't deny the luck you gave us. Sirius was so wasted." He laughed, his eyes sparkling.

"Then I am glad I helped." I told him, with my best Shakespearian voice.

Suddenly, the left window opened and a little brown owl swept into the room. It left a note in Sirius' hands and took off.

I didn't pay much attention to it; at least not until he climbed up the stairs and shut himself in James' bedroom.

* * *

**A/N: **Hi guys! First I'd like to thank hellcswettie on tumblr for reviewing my Quidditch scene! Somewhere in there is a hint regarding the parents of one of the canon characters on the series! Do you think you can find it?

Hope you enjoyed this one!

Reviews are 98% of the Earth's oxygen.

Yours,

Adriana.


	8. Of Wolfsbane and Friends

**A/N:** Hello guys! Sorry it took me soooooo long to update this! It was midterms week and I had a bunch to do! The chapter was actually ready to post on Friday, but for some reason the system was down, and wouldn't let me access my account! Luckily, all is sorted now!

Also, huuuuuge thank you to ** hermionejeangrr on tumblr - liquidlckk her on !** \- for beta-reading my story from now on. Honestly, she is fantastic!

And thank _you_ for all the positive reviews! I love hearing from you guys! Now, without furter a-do, let's get on with the chapter, shall we?

Disclaimer: Not Jo, once more. Therefore, these characters and world are not mine, I'm simply borrowing them.

* * *

Everybody was quiet for a little while, but once the shock had worn off, they all started to enjoy themselves again. Well, the remaining Marauders and I were all concerned, and curious, as to why Sirius was so angsty, especially after his team just won a game against Slytherin.

"We should go check on him." James was positively freaked out. "We should go and talk to him, why are we still here?" He was rambling and pacing, his hair even messier than usual.

Remus and Peter, perceptive as they were, were much calmer than James. They knew Sirius needed some time alone when he was upset. I knew it too, and being Sirius' best friend, I knew James also understood. However, I knew how temperamental James was, and how panicked he could get if he saw someone he loved hurt or concerned.

"Let him cool off a bit, Prongs," Remus said, mussing his hair.

"No! We should be there with him!" He grimaced, and his voice was a little higher than normal, probably due to the panicked state he found himself in. "That's it, I'm coming up…"

"NO!" The three of them looked at me, and rightfully so. I'd been quiet the whole time, but I knew Sirius wouldn't want a mindless James to barge in, especially since he was upset himself. "I'll go. You stay here and enjoy your party. _No buts_," I said, as soon as I noticed James opening his mouth to argue.

I climbed the stairs to the Head Boy's dormitory and knocked on the wooden door.

"Go. Away." Sirius said. His voice was muffled by what sounded like a pillow. If pillows could make any sound, that is. Oh, James's rambling habits were rubbing off on me.

"It's me," I told him, with the calmest voice I could gather. Then I asked him if he would please unlock the door and let me in.

Sirius Black did as I requested, and lay down on James's bed again. I'd never been up to his room before, but it wasn't very different to mine. In fact, they looked like mirror images of each other. I hadn't known what to expect; whether it would be completely messy, or whether he was a neat freak. I'd stopped – well, I had tried to stop, at least – noticing these things when James and I had not been on speaking terms.

His room was tidy, for the most part. Only a few articles of clothing were on the floor, and a couple of books were sitting on his desk – the hair of his dormitory, if you will.

"What do you want?" Sirius grunted at me. "Want to ask me what's wrong? I've got three of those downstairs," he sneered.

"Actually, no," I said. I jumped on James' bed and sat against the headboard of his four-poster. "In fact, I _know_ what's wrong." I smirked at him, even though he couldn't see me. "Now… if you could please stop inhaling that pillow, thank you very much."

Sirius lifted his head, and his eyebrows. "What do I have then? Tell me, Doctor Lily." He almost grinned.

"It's about Regulus, isn't it?" His face falling again was the only confirmation I needed. He didn't respond right away; instead, I heard him mutter something along the lines of '_perceptive little shit'_.

"Tell me about it, then." I frowned.

"The stupid git is joining the Death Eaters," he mumbled.

"What? How do you know?" To be quite honest, I wasn't that surprised; at least not with the crowd he had been hanging around with lately – Mulciber, Avery and those sorts.

"Well, for starters, the Dark Mark on his arm is quite telling, isn't it?" Sirius snorted. I was appalled; couldn't believe Regulus was now branded. Yes, Voldemort _– You-Know-Who was the biggest piece of bullshit I'd ever heard _– was recruiting, but I didn't think he'd already have fifteen year-olds on his ranks.

"How did you find out?" Now I was shocked. I think deep down, I had hoped that he would wake up, walk out on the idea. But then, I had hoped the same thing for Severus, and look how that turned out – he'd probably been a part of the attacks going on in Muggle London this summer.

"Well, he came up to our locker room - just to say stuff like _'Nice game, Gryffindor', _you know? Just trying to get to me. I saw it when he was leaving. I tried confronting him about it, but he just left. The note I got was a confirmation from him."

"Oh, Sirius… You shouldn't be as shocked, you know?" I couldn't believe the words pouring out of my mouth.

"Yeah, well…" He threaded his fingers through his black, shiny hair. "I still hoped he'd see reason, you know? Before it was too late."

"Yeah, I know what that feels like." I slid down and ended up lying next to him. "I know what Petunia is made of, but sometimes her comments still get to me, which is completely insane."

"Should I be feeling like this, Lily? I hate it." Sirius told me.

"He's your brother."

"Oh, Evans." He closed his grey eyes. "Mum and Dad must be so proud," Sirius snickered.

* * *

After reminiscing over certain moments involving family issues and annoying siblings, neither of us felt in the mood to come down and enjoy the party, so we just decided to stay holed up in the Head Boy's bedroom. We spent the whole time talking, reliving our worst and best memories, talking more openly than we had in a while.

"Do you remember" I laughed at him. "That time you hexed Prongs into the Black Lake?" Sirius wiped his eyes. "I don't think I've ever seen you so furious!" I remembered.

"If you bring up my crazy bedhead, I am going to hex you."

* * *

It was two a.m. by the time I stepped out of James' room and let Sirius sleep soundly on my new friend's bed.

As I descended into the Common Room, ready to go up to my own dormitory and sleep for the few hours I had left, I found none other than James Potter napping on the couch. His dark hair was tousled and he was curled around a long, scarlet pillow. It was actually quite adorable.

I walked over to him and lightly shook his frame. He stirred a little, and then turned around, away from me, as if it hadn't been more than a dream.

"James? Hey, James!" I whispered. As a response, James mumbled some incoherent words and rolled over, falling square on the tapestry. Immediately, I started to laugh. Like, really laugh.

"Ow! Bloody ow!" he screeched at me, as he lifted his head and finally took in the whole ordeal. "What the hell was that for?!" James quickly stood up and brushed the wrinkles in his trousers.

"You were going to be sore in the morning if you slept there all night." I smirked at him. His reaction was one of the most amusing pictures I had ever seen in my whole seventeen years of walking this Earth. "Besides, it was fun to wake you up. Your wife is sleeping upstairs." I winked at James's appalled figure and climbed up the stairs to my bedroom.

I closed the tall, wooden door, and leaned against it for a while, before slowly descending to the bedroom floor. It was cold, and sort of clammy, but I welcomed the sensation. Now that I had seen James, I didn't know if I would manage to sleep at all.

Silently, I walked over to the window, and closed the draped curtains. I casted a quick cooling charm on the room- _when had it gotten so hot?_ I thought – and changed into my pyjamas. I looked around, and spotted the forgotten wool scarf. I reached for it. It was warm, incredibly warm. I couldn't pinpoint its exact scent – sort of like the woods, but warm and comforting. It smelled like James, which made perfect sense, as it was his scarf and not mine. I scolded myself for rambling.

I covered myself with a green blanket that my grandmother had knitted me once, and took an empty journal out of my nightstand drawer. I'd never been one to keep a diary, but I did keep a kind of note journal. It was red and tiny, and it was where I kept the loose pieces of parchment that we used to trade notes in class.

I reread some of my old notes with my friends, and felt my eyes tiring. "Nox."

* * *

For some reason, I woke up feeling fresh and invigorated, taking into account the fact that I'd slept for less than five hours. When I was at home, during vacation, I was a complete slob. However, here at Hogwarts, I had a schedule, and a reputation to uphold. I woke up at seven p.m. every morning; then I got ready and walked down to breakfast. My first meal of the day usually consisted of waffles or fried bacon. I didn't appreciate change, so I always maintained the same routine.

"Morning, Lils." Sirius winked at me. "It was lovely waking up to Prongs, so thanks for that." He sat down next to me at the breakfast table and reached for some scrambled eggs.

I laughed. "Good morning, Sirius." Alice and Marlene were across the table, and were excitedly talking about something. "Marls, 'Lice?" I called.

"Yeah?"

"Still up for our lunchtime picnic?" It was a tradition of ours. At least once every term, we'd have a nice picnic under the Beech Tree, and we would talk about everything. I smiled fondly at the memories.

"Sure! I'll have to swing by the kitchens to get our sandwiches." Alice told me with a smile. "We have so much to talk about!" she chirped.

"I haven't hung out with you guys for so long now," I added, tucking a strand of red hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, now that you and James get along again, Mrs Longbottom and I never see you anymore," she snorted. "Are we not good enough for you anymore, Lils?" she asked me, laughing.

Sirius Black threw an arm over my shoulders. "Well, you know the drill, McKinnon." He smirked and then looked over at me. "Once you go Black, you never go back."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Padfoot," Peter, who'd just arrived to the Great Hall, sniggered. "You do realise you look like a sheep that's taking a crap most of the time, yeah?" He smiled at us. "Good morning, ladies."

Sirius crossed his arms tightly. "You only say that because you're jealous that you haven't had a piece of this." He motioned towards his body. "Oh, Lils, I ought to return that Beatles record you lent to the party last night."

"Oh, it's alright." I smiled. I leaned into Sirius and whispered in his ear. "Are you feeling better?"

"Definitely." He smiled warmly at me, and then rubbed my head affectionately.

"Stop it!" I laughed, whilst trying to fix my mop of red hair. "Now it's all frizzy. God, Sirius, you're such a dog."

Sirius nearly spit out his drink and I frowned. I was usually pretty witty, but I couldn't understand what humour Sirius would find on my sentence. I guessed it would be a healthier option to not even attempt to understand what went through Sirius Black's mind; one would go mental.

I stepped off from the bench along with Marlene and Alice and we directed ourselves to the dungeons, for it was Monday and we were going to have Potions. I wondered where James was; I hadn't seen him at breakfast, and Quidditch practice was unthinkable because I'd just been with Sirius.

Now that I thought about it, Remus wasn't there either. And the full moon was only next week; he couldn't be that sick already, could he?

I brushed it off and tried to focus on the conversation.

"What are we talking about again?" I asked, following Marlene.

"Bell's incredible snogging abilities, or so it seems," Alice answered. Her lanky blonde hair was secured tightly on a side braid and she wasn't wearing her neck tie.

"Oh, do tell." I turned to Marlene. "Does the boy own up to his reputation?" Lucas Bell was dreamy. Unfortunately, because of that, the Ravenclaw was also very _famous_ amongst the female population of Hogwarts, and some of the male population too. He was the kind of boy you'd turn gay for. Not that I had anything against gay people, mind you. One of my very good friends back home, Emmeline, was bisexual and I loved her just the same. I made a mental note to write to her later today.

"Oh, does he now?" she told us cryptically. Her eyes weren't exactly the clearest, but at least the bird was awake. Marlene had quite the habit of tiring herself out at Quidditch parties, and other parties as well.

We laughed at her thoughtful expression – which was accompanied by a cheeky smirk, I didn't know how – and strolled down the corridors to class.

* * *

Now inside the classroom, it was warmer – despite being in the dungeons, the heat radiating from the two brews present on Professor Slughorn's desk filled up the place – and I took off my cloak. I didn't like brewing with my cloak on, because, comfortable as it was, it didn't give me the much needed room for arm movement.

"Good morning, class," Professor Slughorn greeted us. His hair was already thin on top, and was getting thinner and thinner with each passing term. "Today we will be discussing two very curious everyone was quiet.

James Potter and Remus Lupin staggered in. "Sorry we're late, Professor." Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Mulciber casting a tripping jinx- so that explained the ungraceful entrance. I couldn't help the twitching of the corners of my mouth. It was so darn funny!

"It's alright, it's alright." He motioned them in. "Form pairs, now, will you?"

Alice was with Marlene, and Sirius had partnered with Peter. I was expecting James to partner with Remus, so I was surprised to see him sitting next to me. Ever since my fall out with Severus, my Potions partners were never constant, so I had asked for the permission of Professor Slughorn to brew alone. Remus sat down near Dorcas, and the Potions Master resumed his speech.

"Today we will be studying Veritaserum and Wolfsbane." I heard some quiet laughter, but I was surprised to see it hadn't come from any of the Marauders. In fact, as soon as I noticed that the sound had come from Snape's mouth, I shot him a death glare.

When we were friends, he'd always had these theories about Remus, and how his lycanthropy would come back to bite us – I laughed internally at my pun.

The teacher didn't allow us to prepare Veritaserum - it was too great of a risk to allow students near that particular brew - but we worked on the Wolfsbane concoction.

I was very happy to have met Damocles, its inventor, at one of Slughorn's Slug Club dinners. It had turned out that Damocles had been a student of his, and I was very impressed by its effects; if brewed correctly, it helped werewolves keeping a clear human mind during the transformation. However, it was very dangerous, and as of yet it hadn't been commercialized because when poorly concocted, aconite was a very poisonous substance.

"Please, keep in mind that I doubt most of you can brew it correctly, because it is still facing experimentation and what not. Get to work then."

* * *

Surprisingly enough, James was actually a very helpful partner. He never took a particular interest in Potions – perhaps because it was in the dungeons, and we had always taken the class with the Slytherins. However, he excelled at all other classes, especially Transfiguration.

As we finished our project and I got up to leave the classroom, I noticed Remus waiting behind. I wondered why for just a tad too long, and this caused all my classmates to leave without me, except for Mulciber and Avery, who soon had me cornered in an empty corridor.

"Hello, Mudblood," Mulciber sneered.

"Hello, coward." The two Slytherins balled their fists. It was two against one, and from what I knew about magic, attacking first would often give you the upper hand.

"Conjuctivitus! Furnunculus!" I fled, leaving Avery partially blinded and Mulciber with a face covered in boils. It was a bit cowardly perhaps to leave the duel so early on, but I wasn't stupid. Being a Muggleborn surrounded by Death Eaters and picking fights with them wasn't exactly the smartest choice.

I encountered Remus – he was only now leaving the dungeons – and asked him why he'd stayed behind.

"Well, since the faculty know about my condition, Slughorn just asked me if I wanted to try the Wolfsbane Potion. And as the full moon's nearly a week from now, I need to start taking the potion if I want it to work. He warned me about the fact that it was still an experiment, more than once, but I figured, even if it didn't work, it wouldn't do any harm now, would it?"

"No, I guess not," I told him, as we both walked to the Prefect meeting that would take place in ten minutes.

* * *

**A/N:** Did you guys like it? What are your thoughts!? None of you guessed the hidden clue in the last chapter. If you haven't guessed, feel free to re-read it and try to find out! Hopefully the next chapter will be up in less than 2 weeks!

Reviews make the Jily Fairies sing.

Yours,

Adriana


	9. Of Meetings and Mentours

**A/N: **First of all, let me say how terribly sorry I am that it has taken me over three weeks to upload a new chapter! I am extremely sad that it has taken me so long, but my beta reader was having a bit of a busy and complicated time, and it is crucial to me that she gets back on track. Her hapiness and safety are so much higher on my priority list... But she finished it anyway, and with the amount of mistakes I make, it is crucial that she helps me. So, I couldn't have done this without her, thank you Charlotte!

I noticed I didn't get many reviews last chapter, only one or two I believe. Now, of course, you don't need to do so, but if I made some mistake or there is something you are not happy with, please, don't hesitate in telling me so!

Do you think I should start recommending some songs to go along with the characters? Like, what songs I listened to the most while writing it? Let me know!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, we all know I am not JK. These characters don't belong to me, at all. Sadly.

* * *

James was already inside, preparing the room for the meeting, and pretty soon every prefect started to enter the room. At precisely eleven thirty, we started our speeches.

"Due to the recent attacks, Dumbledore wants to start assigning guardians for the younger students, and that job is ours," James told the group.

"Every single one of you, along with your rounds partner, will have one house in each year to mentor," I explained. "For example, James and I will deal with the first years, but you will deal with the second, third and fourth years, preferably the ones that don't belong to your house.

"Before James gives out the lists of the prefects and their assigned group, I want to warn you that this mentoring task is a very important one. It is your job to answer any questions they may have, and to make them feel safe inside these walls. Whatever your… _policies_ are," I eyed Severus warily, "on Voldemort's beliefs, you are not to force them on your pupils."

James distributed the lists, and I scanned the students' faces for reactions.

_"__Ernie Grimmet and Rebecca Hollis - Ravenclaw Second Years_

_Hannah Baker and Remus Lupin – Slytherin Second Years_

_Katie Mina and Adam Groven - Hufflepuff Second Years_

_Andy Sheppley and Sean Hawking - Gryffindor Second Years_

_Toby Ross and Mary McDonald - Ravenclaw Third Years_

_Sam Keating and Kingsley Higgs - Slytherin Third Years_

_Daisy Sutton and Ryan Kessler – Hufflepuff Third Years_

_Thomas Kevin and Marina Brown - Gryffindor Third Years_

_Julie Lima and Bert Lee - Ravenclaw Fourth Years_

_Chris Sterling and Karen Davies - Slytherin Fourth Years_

_Lisa Alton and Michael Quintin - Hufflepuff Fourth Years_

_Lucas Bell and Severus Snape - Gryfffindor Fourth Years"_

"Lily?" A fifth year Slytherin that went by the name of Sharon Rank raised her hand. "My name isn't here."

James spoke up. "Yeah, we know, but don't worry! You'll be helping me and Lily dealing with the First Years instead." He winked at her.

The truth was that Sharon's father had just passed away, and we didn't want to overstretch her with prefect duties. It's not that we didn't think she could handle it, but being in Slytherin, many of her housemates were pressuring her to join those supporting the Death Eaters – whom, so far, she had been gracefully resisting – and the Headmaster didn't want her to break. "Sharon is a lovely girl, and it would be a shame if she were to cave in a moment of weakness," Dumbledore had said to them.

"Anyone have any questions?" I asked the group. No one stepped forward. "Alright, but if dealing with the students gets a little out of hand, or you don't know how to help them, please make sure they know they can come to me, James, or Sharon whenever they may need."

"Have a nice lunch, everyone!" James waved them off.

After the Prefect meeting, I swung by the kitchens to grab some food for the picnic – Alice didn't have a free period, so I went on her behalf. Ham and cheese sandwiches, chicken sandwiches, and three bottles of Butterbeer.

I walked to the greenhouses, because both Alice and Marlene were still taking Herbology. I could see why Marlene was, but Alice wanted to be an Auror, not a Healer or Herbologist. However, I guess being able to recognize certain plants and poisons could be useful on missions.

It was unusually warm outside for November. The Whomping Willow still had some of its leaves, even though most of them had already fallen and been scattered by the wind. The class had just ended and the students were pouring out of the Greenhouses like owls out of a pet shop. I never understood why the Herbology classes always had so many students in at the same time.

"Hey." I greeted them with a smile. "I got the food." I lifted up the basket the house elves had given to me.

"Thanks, Lil." Alice locked arms with me and Marlene and we directed ourselves to the beech tree.

As we sat down and ate our food, although it was more like devouring on my part, I asked them about Frank and Lucas.

"Well, to be honest, Frank is amazing! He makes me feel so happy, Lily…" She had a dreamy look in her eye and was positively glowing. "In fact, I think I'm going to spend Christmas at his mum's."

"What?!" Marlene exclaimed, laughing. "You've been holding out on me!"

"Oh shush, McKinnon," I told her, grinning. "'Lice must've wanted to tell us both at the same time. How about Bell? How's that going for you?"

"He is kind of a douche, but Merlin, is he a good snogger! We just snog. It's nice, simple. I can't hold a conversation with him though…" Marlene nodded to herself.

"Hey, Mar, what does he think of all this pureblood rubbish?"

"I don't think he supports it, but I haven't discussed it all that much with him, y'know? We don't exactly sit and chat, if you know what I mean…" She attempted to raise her eyebrows in a seductive manner, unsuccessfully.

"Marlene, gross!" I scolded. Alice was flushing a bright red similar to my hair colour. "I suppose you and Frank don't sit and chat either, do you?" I smirked at her.

"But why do you ask?" Marlene questioned me.

"Well, you know that mentoring business I discussed with you earlier? Right after Dumbledore called me and James to his office?" She nodded in response. "Well, he's partners with Severus. I mean, James and I took care to place those types with Gryffindors, fourth years actually, but I want to make sure that if Severus starts trying to spread the whole 'Mudblood trend' around our House, Bell will stop it, or try to at least."

Marlene assured me she would try to talk to Lucas about it. From then on the conversation went by smoothly. We talked about everything: about current relationships – or in my case, the lack of one – and about Christmas plans. The holidays were just around the corner, and since Marlene was going to spend them with her sister, and Alice at Frank's, we decided to organize a secret night time trip into Hogsmeade.

I made a mental note to ask Sirius for the Map and James's cloak. If we wanted to sneak out, we were going to do it Marauders Style – which basically meant 'don't get caught'.

As for me, this Christmas I was going to stay in the castle. It was my last year at Hogwarts, and I wanted to enjoy the Feast and the decorations for a final time. Besides, coming home to Mum and Dad would be wonderful, but the prospect of spending my holidays with Petunia wasn't exactly the definition of fun. Besides, I'd already talked to Mum about it, and I would be home for the Easter weekend. When I asked her if Sirius and James could come too, the Potters having passed away and all, she loved the idea.

"How's your sister, Marlene?" Alice asked. "Did she have the baby already?"

"Nah, it's due in February, I think." She shrugged half-heartedly.

"It's due?" I asked her. "What, is the baby an essay?" I playfully shoved her, which caused her to fall, and me and Alice to laugh like mad.

"Goddamn it, it's just a baby, calm yourselves," Marlene said, while trying to shake the excess grass and leaves off her robes. "She doesn't want to know if it's a boy or a girl. So, it's an 'it'. What's the time, by the way?"

Alice responded, a wave of shock flashing through her eyes. "Is it two o'clock already? I should get going then!" She got up to leave, de-wrinkling her robes. "You two are bloody lucky, did you know that? Why do I even take Divination?"

"Hey, do you still want to go over that Potions assignment?" I asked Marlene.

"Yeah, sure. Mind doing it here, though? The weather is so nice today."

"Sure."

We sat down for a few more hours, and soon we had to leave to get ready for supper. It was simply too dark to be outside any longer, and the curfew policies were very strict. I bid Marlene goodbye; she was going to have dinner at the Ravenclaw table. If she and Bell couldn't hold a conversation, I didn't know how she would manage, no matter how good the snogging was, but I guess she could try to talk to him about Snape.

I climbed the stairs to my dormitory, and changed into some more comfortable clothes. I stripped off my skirt and switched it for some black trousers, tie hanging loosely around my neck, and put my hair up into a ponytail.

"James!" The boy turned around. His hair was messy, his glasses were crooked, and he was wearing his usual smirk. "Save me a seat, will you?"

"Sure thing, Evans. Have you seen Sirius, by the way? The boys and I have been looking everywhere for him."

"Nah, have you tried the map?" I felt slightly anxious. I was a worrier, and I knew Sirius tended to act a bit reckless sometimes.

"We had a look, but he wasn't anywhere. And he isn't in the Room of Requirement either."

That's when I remembered. As Marlene and I were walking back to the castle, we had seen Avery and Regulus strolling through the corridors, whispering.

"Come with me. I know where he is."

We walked to the dungeons. Heck, we ran there. The walls were a blur, the people's faces unidentifiable. All we wanted was to find him, before he did something he would regret.

James picked up his mirror and shouted into it. "Padfoot? Sirius! SIRIUS BLACK!"

James rarely screamed. When he was upset, he gave people the silence treatment, ignored them. He only screamed when he was truly, completely terrified. And I must say, at that moment, I too was terrified for Sirius. I mean, the poor bloke had just discovered that his younger brother was a branded Death Eater!

Sirius, however, never answered the mirror. James and I searched the dungeons and the castle for hours, and never found him.

"James, we need to go on patrols," I reminded him. "We can use them to look for Sirius some more. I'm sure he is alright. He's probably just had a run-in with Regulus and lost his temper… Just give him some time, will you?"

"Fine. Fine, I just - For Merlin's sake…" He ran his fingers through his hair. What I had always perceived as a flirting technique, was simply a nervous habit, I realised.

"If we don't find him by the end of our rounds, we'll go to McGonagall, okay?" I compromised.

* * *

To be honest, patrols were awful. James was silent and for some reason, all I wanted to do was talk it out. James' habit of rambling when he was nervous was starting to rub off on me.

"I talked to Mum," I informed James. The Gryffindor lifted his head in confusion. "About Easter, I mean."

"What about it?" His voice was hoarse from shouting and he had dark shadows under his eyes. I had a feeling he wouldn't be sleeping tonight, even if we found Sirius.

"Well, since I'm spending Christmas hols here-"

"You are?" he interrupted.

"Yeah, now let me finish, will you?" I shoved him. "It's my last Christmas here, so… Anyway, I spoke to Mum about it, and we decided you and Sirius are to come home with me over Easter." Even if it wasn't their home, I didn't want to press the subject.

"Really, Lily, you don't have to do this. I mean, you've done enough for us already…" I could see his face turn faintly pink in the dim light.

"Potter." I stopped in my tracks and looked up at him defiantly. "It's fine, really. Mum's already met Sirius and she loved him. Plus, you'll be saving me from the tragic fate of socialising with my sister for the weekend."

"Well, if only to save you from the best vacation from your life. I'm sure Petunia's a real charm." James chuckled, which caused me to whack him around the head.

I felt incredibly guilty about it afterwards – and I am sure James did too – but Sirius' whereabouts and safety were starting to seem less serious.

It was when we checked a broom cupboard on the Second Floor that we found him, bleeding and deprived of any colour. He had an enormous gash across his chest.

"Oh my-" James whispered.

"Just levitate him, alright? I know this curse. Levitate him to the hospital wing."

"No… Not there," Sirius' faint voice told us. I didn't feel like retaliating.

"Fine. To the Head Common Room then," I instructed.

The trip to the common room was a difficult one. Even using levitation, Sirius was a teenage boy, and a heavy one at that. Blame Quidditch.

"Sirius, unbutton your shirt."

"I thought Prongs was more your type," he chuckled, promptly starting to cough up blood as a result.

"Oh for fuck's sake, shut up!" I scolded him. It was his bloody fault that he was now coughing up his insides. Sirius did as instructed and I started to whisper the counter curse, various times.

The gash started closing, and the blood evaporated. Suddenly, the colour returned to Sirius's face and he now looked like his old self, like he hadn't just been brutally attacked by Severus. I knew it had been him, because I only knew one curse, and a very dark and dangerous one at that, that could do such damage and it had been Snape who invented it – the Sectumsempra curse.

I quickly retreated to my bedroom, but instead of entering, I leaned on the door frame and looked over at James and Sirius. The latter's body was still sprawled on our couch – when wasn't it? – with James hovering over him. In the quiet of the night, I could hear him inform Sirius about their newly formed Easter plans.

I sat down on my desk, and opened up a piece of parchment. I put some black ink on my quill and began writing.

_Dear Emmeline,_

_How is everything at uni? Things here at Hogwarts are completely insane. At least the Head Boy is competent. You know how scared I was when I received my badge in the summer!_

_I can't believe how much I miss you. But the good news is that I am coming back for the Easter weekend! Do you remember Sirius? I spent the summer before last with him. He and his friend James Potter – the Head Boy – are coming with me for the vacation, so we should all definitely hang out! Are you still seeing that girl Heather? If so, we could all grab dinner together if you'd like that._

_Lots of love,_

_Lily._

Emmeline Vance was the only Muggle friend I had who knew about my life at Hogwarts, magic and all that. We trusted each other; as I was a witch, and she was queer, we were very accepting of each other's secrets. It was the human thing to do! Marlene and Alice had already met her. Last summer we went on a big camping trip to a lake near Marlene's house. It had been one of the best months of my life.

* * *

The next morning was a chilly one. It was getting colder by the minute, and getting out of bed was getting harder with each passing day. Sometimes I felt like giving up on my N.E.W.T.s, and working as a maid if that meant I could sleep some more.

I got up, and made sure to wear an extra camisole under my white button up. I ditched the Gryffindor colours for a cosy scarf, and went down for breakfast.

As usual, I had my glass of chocolate milk, because regular milk tastes awful, and inhaled my pumpkin waffle. None of my friends were at breakfast – James and Sirius had Quidditch practice so Remus, Peter, Alice and Marlene had gone to see them play – so I sat down near Sharon.

"Morning," I greeted her.

"Hey, Lily." Her smile was warm and her uniform was pristine. She had the blue eyes and the blonde hair, but she wasn't conventionally pretty. Her curly, bushy hair covered up most of her face, and she was exceptionally tiny for her age. Her overall image was that of a very shy, vulnerable girl, but to me she seemed very kind-hearted. To be honest, she reminded me a lot of Alice.

"What classes do you have today?" I asked, making polite small talk.

"Oh, I'm taking Care of Magical Creatures," she told me. "I have a double period this morning."

"Really? Have you thought about any particular careers?" I inquired. Suddenly, I had already eaten three waffles and a cauldron cake. It was going to be a long day.

"Yeah, I want to be a magizoologist, do you know? My mum – she's a Muggle – grew up on a farm, so I've been around animals my whole life."

After chatting some more, I bid my goodbyes. I too had a double period to attend – Charms. It was a light class. Well, at least compared to my afternoon slot of Transfiguration.

I walked to the classroom and prepared my supplies; the book was on the table, the wand was in my pocket, and I sat down waiting for the lesson to commence.

* * *

**A/N: **How did you like this chapter? Was it worth all the wait? I can guarantee you, the next won't take me so long! Half of it is already written, and the other half is planned out. However, should there be anything you'd like me to write, just say so, and I will try to include it! For example, I think it was last chapter, a friend of mine dared me to include a crapping sheep on one of the lines, and I did so. I thought it was quite funny actually.

Nevermind my nonsense, **on a very serious note** \- Emmeline Vance is a character I intend to work with, she is a very important girl in Lily's life, and because I am straight, I know nothing about bisexuality. Emmeline, however, is bi, and I want to make sure that if any of you lovely readers are too, you don't feel unconfortable with the way I write her. So please, let me know about that.

Reviews are what makes chocolate muffins.

Yours truly,

Adriana


	10. Of Note Passing and Old Journals

**A/N: **Hello guys! How have you been? So so so so sorry it has taken me what, three weeks? You see, this was finals week, and I was super busy, but right now, I am on spring break, so hopefully, with a little help from my beta, Charlotte - thank you love! - I can start updating a little bit quicker.

Now, in response to the reviews from last chapter:

**j-jip: **Thank you so much for your constant reviews! And it really is an interesting prospect, isn't it?

**Kim Ng Ng: **Thank you for the review! And for loving my story, it really does mean a lot to me!

Okay, now, as I was writing this chapter, there were a couple of tracks I simply could not stop listening to. Perhaps you should try checking them out? Sedated by Hozier was constantly playing, and I Love You (album) by The Neighbourhood was on repeat.

I don't know if any of you guys noticed, but I wrote two short little one-shots! _Lily Evans did not like flowers very much _and _That Redheaded Girl_. Please read them and tell me what you thought?

Disclaimer: I am not Rowling, nor have I ever been, so none of the characters belong to me.

Now, onto the story!

* * *

"Good morning, class!" Professor Filius Flitwick greeted the seventh year Gryffindors. Because nearly every seventh year had signed up for Charms this year, the faculty couldn't provide mixed House classes like they could for Divination, Arithmancy and such. Only one house constituted each class, but the Charms classroom was still a ruckus anyway.

It wasn't that professor Flitwick couldn't calm the students down – although his short stature didn't inspire nearly as much authority as Professor McGonagall. The problem was that, being part of the N.E.W.T course, the Charms lessons were now less about theory and more about practice.

There were constantly groups of students gathering, with the teenagers trying to help each other as much as possible… and, of course, the amount of note-passing was incredible.

I chucked a piece of parchment at Sirius.

_Oi, Black!_

Quickly, he read the note and responded with one of his own:

**Evans. Thanks for fixing me up last night. How shall I repay you?**

I looked at him, and he mimed tipping off an imaginary hat.

_Oh, are you up for a little bit of mischief?_

His eyes sparkled and I could tell he was getting very excited at my proposition. I filled Sirius in on our plan for a ladies night, and asked him for the map and the cloak. He told me he had it under control, and Sirius Black was the most trustworthy person I knew – I would trust him with my life.

The girls and I were sneaking off to Hogsmeade this Saturday. Although Sirius tried to move the date, we really wanted to go there _this_ weekend. My guess was it was Frank's birthday pretty soon and Alice wanted to take a look around before buying him anything. I too wanted to check what the stores had to offer on a quieter day – or, in our case, night.

We didn't even know what we'd be doing exactly, but my guess was a quiet meal at the Three Broomsticks.

* * *

For some weird reason, I was anxious about talking to James this morning, so anxious I found myself actively avoiding the bloke. It wasn't that he'd done anything, or that anything out of the ordinary happened, but the intensity with which he had looked at me last night still burned in the back of my mind.

I wanted to confront Severus about last night's events, but the hate he felt for Sirius was only bettered by the despise he felt towards James. Perhaps it was due to their easy life together, or at least easy in comparison to his father's abuse. But he should know better than anyone that appearances are often wrong – Sirius' family life was enough as it was, and now that the Potters had passed away, I couldn't imagine how either of the two boys felt.

Pretty soon the class was over, and the teacher had assigned half a metre of parchment on the theory of the Patronus charm. We were going to start attempting it next term.

Before heading to lunch, I swung by the library to pick up some books on hexes and curses. I started this habit when Snape first started to hang around with his dark companions. If anything were to happen – Merlin forbid – I wanted to be prepared to defend and heal those around me.

However, ever since last year, their curses had grown darker, and more evil. Most of the books that covered those curses were stored in the Restricted Section, but Professor Slughorn always gave me a permission slip.

Now that I was of age, those weren't needed anymore; most of the seventh years were legal adults by now, and it would be a waste of time to try and track every book the older portion of the student body checked out of the library.

I picked up an old favourite, if you could call something like that a favourite, and a new book I'd just spotted for the first time. The cover was purple and it was a pretty battered volume. It wasn't very large, about 300 pages, and its title was "Curses of TMR – Volume II".

I had never seen the first volume anywhere in the library, so my guess was this copy belonged to a student – and one of the pureblood supremacists, by the looks of it. However, I didn't want to jump to conclusions, so I decided to speak to James about it, him being Head Boy and all. It was the smart thing to do.

Because Charms had been a double period, the seventh years were now allowed to head to lunch. I sat down at the House Table, but sadly none of my usual companions were in the Great Hall – just like they hadn't been for breakfast. What were they up to? I knew Frank Longbottom never missed a meal, and wherever he was, so was Alice. And Peter Pettigrew, missing pork chops? That was unheard of.

I silently ate my food, not really tasting anything, and wandered off to catch up on some reading. My Transfiguration class wouldn't begin for another twenty minutes and I didn't feel like reading that particular volume in the comfortable armchairs of the library. Instead of heading back there, I picked up my book bag and headed off to the Room of Requirement.

When I got there, and actually entered the room, it had materialized into a room that looked very much like the school library, except it was Unplottable, and possessed only one big satin green armchair.

Once I sat down and started to read the book, I discovered it was actually a journal. There weren't chapters, and it was obviously handwritten, which only confirmed my beliefs of it belonging to a student.

The first few pages talked about power, and it looked like something that would come out of Voldemort's mouth. The curses were dark, and the doodles were gruesome. It also showed some counter-curses, but most of it were simply pages and pages of Latin names – the incantations – and the most basic effects – gashes across the body, dark bruises which grew all through the body, freezing of the blood…

I'd read about some of those curses and jinxes, but most of them seemed completely new to my eye. Again, I suspected someone had invented them, much like Severus had invented Sectumsempra.

I wished for an owl and the room presented me with Leeyana, and I quickly scribbled a note.

_"__Meet me at Dumbledore's, immediately. – L.E."_

It was short and urgent, and I bid Leeyana goodbye, in hope that she would deliver it to James Potter as quickly as possible.

* * *

The trip to Dumbledore's office was a tricky one. The halls were flooded with students and I couldn't see anything. I actually had to turn around a few times because I kept forgetting things on the floor. Once I got to the statue, I noticed James running towards it too. Apparently, Leeyana had accomplished her task and James had come straight here.

"What's wrong? Is everything alright?" His voice cracked. Instead of replying directly to him, I placed the purple book on his hand.

"Mint Sorbet." The statue moved aside and we climbed the stairs.

The Headmaster's door was closed, and after seeing what all of it was about, James was ready to barge in without even knocking. I, however, kept my mind clear and held him back.

I lifted my wrist to knock, but just before my had touched the wooden door, it opened, as if Dumbledore had been watching us all along, or somehow knew we were there. Well, of course, nothing could escape the wise old wizard.

"Miss Evans. Mister Potter," he greeted us, with a slight twinkle in his eyes, one that I had never seen him without. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" he asked us. His half-moon shaped glasses sat on the bridge of his nose, and barely moved when James threw the hefty journal onto the Headmaster's desk.

"Someone left this in the library. I think it belongs to one of the students," I explained as calmly as possible.

"Well, why is it so important? It appears to be nothing more than an old journal," he said, flipping through the pages. It was clear he was aware of the content, but somehow he didn't look concerned about it. "This is very dark magic, but I can assure you, the faculty will do the best to prevent any usage of these curses."

"How are you not worried about this?" I exploded. It wasn't like me to lose my temper – well, it was, but certainly not in front of Albus Dumbledore.

"I assure you, Miss Evans, you have nothing to worry about. The situation is under control," he assured me.

For the first time that afternoon, James spoke up. "Oh, yeah? Perhaps you should turn to the last page, Headmaster," he snapped.

Dumbledore did as requested, and suddenly he had a sombre expression on his face, and the twinkle always present completely vanished from his eyes.

"Thank you for delivering this, Miss Evans. Mister Potter, I suggest you fill the girl in. You may go now." He bid us goodbye.

The dark door closed behind us. "What the hell was that about?" I asked him. I was riled up, and I wanted answers.

"Didn't you see who that belonged to?" James asked me. He sat down on the stairs, and I followed suit.

"No, I didn't. T.M.R, or something like that, I think," I explained. "What does it stand for?"

"Tom Marvolo Riddle."

I was astonished. Tom Marvolo Riddle? Who was he, and how was we able to rile up Dumbledore so badly? However, James filled me in on the details. Turns out that Tom Marvolo Riddle was Voldemort. After leaving Hogwarts, he had changed his name and his appearance, becoming the darkest wizard after Grindelwald.

James was one of the few who knew about Voldemort's previous identity; of course, this only happened because James' father used to be head of the Auror Office, thus being completely in the know.

* * *

We talked about it for hours; we'd even seen McGonnagal come up the stairs – I guessed we had missed Transfiguration, but she hadn't looked mad in the slightest.

"Doesn't this feel incredibly wrong to you?" I told James, while we walked back to the Head Common Room.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

"Out there, there's a war, people are dying, and we are here sitting, waiting for everyone else to sort things out," I explained to him.

James chuckled in response.

"What?" I asked him, flustered.

"Of course you would say that." James gazed at me. "Lily Evans, you are something."

My cheeks flooded with colour. However, I ignored my hormones and asked him, "Don't you think we should do something?"

"Well… I am sure we could do something, you know. But I don't think Dumbledore would want us messing with things." He raised his hand to his messy mop of hair. "But Dumbledore's not going to be around forever," he said, thoughtfully.

"So it's completely necessary," I spoke.

"Completely, yeah." He seemed to contemplate things for a bit. "What do you reckon we could do? How can we help?"

"Well… Our classes are great, but the teachers seem kind of afraid to teach us some things, don't you agree?"

"I think we should make a little class, y'know? Like, teach some things to the fifth and sixth years," he said, a mischievous glint flashing through his hazel eyes.

"Definitely. I mean, I think only those years are mature enough to handle some things… And they will be in charge of the student body next year," I pointed out.

"And, I'm pretty good at Transfiguration-"

"Shocker." I muttered under my breath. Of course James Potter wouldn't miss an opportunity to boost his ego.

"And Evans, you're _brilliant_ at Charms **and** Potions!" he finished with a smile. Immediately, I regretted thinking so poorly of him.

"Oh, yes! And we could set it up in the Room Of Requirement!" I told him excitedly. I noticed we had already walked into the Common Room, and had sat down on the big, scarlet couch.

* * *

We chatted for a bit longer, and soon enough it was time for Supper. The House Elves always cooked the most amazing food. The pumpkin juice was delightful, and the pudding was fantastic, as usual.

The Marauders wanted to escape the castle tonight and Marlene, Alice and I were all on board, but suddenly, I didn't feel so safe anymore. Besides, there was simply too much to prepare!

James promised to speak to the boys about our newest idea, while my mission was to inform the girls.

The seven of us met in the Head Common Room, which, to be quite honest, was starting to look more and more like the Seventh Year Common Room. After all, the only Gryffindor Seventh Years rarely frequented the House Room altogether.

After a quiet few hours, everyone was filled in on the idea, and all of us were getting more and more excited by the minute. We were finally going to do something! Personally, I felt incredibly useless knowing that a war was raging in our world, and we were stuck inside these walls.

"I talked to Lucas about it," Marlene whispered in my ear.

"You did?" I asked her. "What did he say?"

"Well, he says he's going to try to stop any direct confrontations, but really, there's not much he can do about it. After all, it would be damaging for the pupils to see their mentors fighting. It could lead to a feeling of unease…" She rolled her eyes so thoroughly that I was surprised they didn't stick to the back of her eyelids. "At least that's how he puts it. Complete rubbish, if you ask me."

"Oi, Prongs!" Sirius called James' attention. "Don't you think we should talk to other people about this? After all, isn't the whole point of this to help the kids grow a pair?" A smirk, his trademark smirk, played on Sirius Black's face. His grey eyes glistened with excitement, as did everyone else's.

"Sirius, do you have any idea of the amount of self-restraint one must possess in order to not whack you in the head?" Remus shook his head. "Unbelievable." But he too was grinning.

After a little more playful banter, none of us had the energy to deal with such powerful issues. The dark of the day was finally wearing me out, and I soon retreated to my bedroom.

Climbing up the stairs, clinging to the railing, I felt someone grab my wrist. James. His hands where calloused from all the Quidditch, but they were warm, and his grip was gentle.

"Yes?" I asked him, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Are you alright?" the Marauder asked quietly.

"Reckon I'm just tired. Are you going up soon?"

"I think I'm going to."

"Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight, Lily."

My heart was beating rapidly, but I knew it was useless. James Potter was my friend, and that was all there was to it. Really. Nothing between us could ever work out. Not that I wanted anything to. But his hands were warm, and his grip was gentle, and at the time, I simply wanted to feel safe.

On top of my wooden desk was a letter. The envelope was white, and the calligraphy was messy – it belonged to the one and only, Emmeline Vance.

Hoping it would distract me from such crazy, insane thoughts, I opened the damn thing and began to read.

_Dear Lily,_

_How have you been?! I've missed you incredibly! Things here are so messed up. Well, in a good way, I think, but chaotic nevertheless. You have no idea how frustrating, and yet satisfying at the same time it is to get up at six a.m. every morning for class._

_Well, living in that castle of yours, you probably do know the feeling - yikes. When you come back home, I want you to show me all the new cool things you learned. That room temperature charm you put on my room is still as good as new, so thanks for that._

_I guess you really aren't useless at all, are you Evans? Just kidding, love! You know I worship your existence._

_And that Sirius friend of yours is quite shaggable, he is. Let's hope that Potter boy is as well, eh? Oh, and me and Sarah – not Heather – are still going strong. You know I need someone to calm me down._

_Love you,_

_Em._

I stripped off of my outfit and cuddled up into my pyjamas. It was going to be a long night… Hell, it had been a long day! But the prospect of doing something to help the other students was more than enough to send me into a deep state of slumber.

* * *

**A/N: **Taa-daaaaaa! How did you guys like it? Is it living up to your expectations? None of you talked about Emmeline, but if you wish to do so, you still can! I love hearing from you guys! But really, I am super excited for this story, I have some really cool ideas! Please let me know!

Reviews are what makes chocolate cookies.

Love,

Adriana


	11. Of Hidden Glances and Beautiful Nights

**A/N: **Hello! Yes, it is me again, with a brand new chapter! I have to say, I think this is one of my favourites so far, and it is the longest one I have ever written! That should be exciting, right? I thought so too!

This chapter is very James/Lily centric, so that is something to look forward too - and I apologise in advance. For what? You will see soon.

Now, replying to last chapter's reviews:

**j-jip: **Thank you so much! To be quite honest, I surprised myself coming up with that. I have so many ideas!

**Eliza (Guest): **Wow! Thank you so much for the compliments Eliza! Perhaps Emmeline Vance is actually a Muggle who worked for the Order? Maybe she brew potions - I don't think you have to be magical to do that. Nevertheless, it is not farfetched to think the Order had at lease one queer member, is it? Thank you again!

Also, special thanks to **Kekejo99** for the review!

**I've finally created a Fate Works in a Funny Way Cheat Sheet! **Tons of information, and you can find it right here: cheatsheet

While I was writing this chapter, the songs I kept playing over and over and over again were: _Talking Body_ by Tove Lo and _Style _by Taylor Swift. You should check them out!

**Disclaimer: **I'm so not Jo. Also, Charlotte my wonderful beta, I could never do this without you.

Onto the story!

* * *

I woke up inexplicably tired. Dragging myself out of the warmth of my bed was a very, very difficult task to accomplish. I felt like lying down the whole day but sadly, there could be no such thing. It was a Wednesday and not a Saturday, after all.

I only had Defense Against the Dark Arts in a couple of hours, but as tired as I was, I couldn't manage to sleep any more. As I made my way down the stairs into the common room, I discovered that James Potter also could not.

His eyes were dark and the bags under them were even darker. Clearly he was very tired; anyone paying attention could see it.

I made my way over to him and he stiffened. "Morning," I yawned.

"Hey." He lifted his head to look up at me. "What are you doing up so early?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same question." I shook my head at him. "Couldn't sleep."

"Me neither. I've been working on Head Duties for about forty minutes now," James informed me. "These Slytherin gits have been docking so many points… I am trying to find some reasoning, but I suspect most of it was out of irritation."

Revising the point docking was very often a tricky task, and that belonged to no one else but the Head Students. Prefects had the power to dock points, but the Heads had to make sure they were docked within reason, and with an actual causation. Otherwise, we had to file two reports – one for the Headmaster and one for the Head of House – in order to regain the points. Bureaucracy.

"I can finish doing that if you'd like…" He opened his mouth to reply, but I cut him off. "Or, we could both get dressed and slip down to the kitchens, eh?" I smirked at him.

James smiled back at me. I climbed up the stairs to my dormitory and stripped off my clothes. I entered my shower – oh, the privileges of a private bathroom! The water was warm, and I washed away any remaining sleepiness.

With a fresh outfit and slightly damp hair, I made my way to the Head Boy's bedroom. We greeted each other again, and stepped through the portrait hole. The corridors were just short of empty, for every student who was awake was in the Great Hall.

The stone floor was cold, and the stone walls were colder, but thanks to my recent wash, or maybe it was something else, I felt very warm inside.

"Have you begun studying yet?" I asked him, trying to make conversation.

"Not really, no," he said, scratching his head, messing up his hair in the process. "How d'you reckon this whole mentouring thing is going?"

"I'm not sure, actually. And we really ought to speak to others about our little idea. It can't be only Seventh Year Gryffindors."

"We need to branch out," he admitted. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Well, I think we should really ask the Prefects. Most of them are pretty decent people, and they can help us get a hold of more students."

"And we need to work with some Hufflepuffs too, the Slytherins pick way too much on them." I started to frown, but quickly changed my mind.

We reached the kitchens in no time – really, why was time flying by so fast? – and Twichet, one of the House Elves, greeted us with her usual high-pitched voice.

"Master Potter, Miss Evans. What can Twitchet get you?"

"Just some tea. Thanks, Twitch'." James smiled at her.

"Oh, Twitchet?" I called her.

"Yes, Miss Evans?" She looked up at me, with big, bright, hopeful eyes.

"Do you happen to have some toast?"

* * *

We had our breakfast, and later walked over to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Stenbridge was already inside – when wasn't he? – and so was Peter Pettigrew.

I sat down next to the trembling figure. "Hey, Petey. How are you?" I asked sympathetically.

"Oh, you know, a bit tired, but aren't we all?"

"I know what you mean. Especially with Head Duties, I can never find time to work on anything!"

"Yeah, and Prongs too, with Quidditch and what-not."

"You really are very insightful, Pete. I don't know why you never talk to anyone."

The conversation ended like that, for I could see Peter struggling to put his thoughts into words. The classroom began to fill, the usual students arrived and the lesson commenced.

"Good morning, class," Professor Stenbridge greeted us all. "I hope you had a lovely breakfast. Now, I will collect the essay on the Inferi I assigned for homework."

With a flourish from his wand, a little cardboard box navigated between the students, who carefully, or not, placed the twelve inches of parchment inside.

* * *

The Defense class was, at best, uneventful. There was a pop quiz, but it wouldn't affect our grades at all; it was simply preparation for the N.E.W.T exam we'd be taking the following May.

Marlene and I walked to the Great Hall with great excitement because I was famished. Really though, I was a growing woman - I needed my nutrients! My mouth watered just thinking about mashed potatoes.

We sat with the Marauders – James was across the table from me, so I barely lifted my eyes from my plate – and just as Professor McGonagall was passing, Remus ruffled Sirius' hair.

"Oi!"

"Mr. Black, if you spent half the time you spend on your hair studying, you'd be more likely to pass your N.E.W.T.'s," Professor McGonagall retorted.

"Lucky thing I'm naturally brilliant, isn't that right Professor?" he smirked at the Deputy Head, and I could swear I saw the corners of her mouth twitching.

The food was amazing, as usual. Really, where did those Elves learn how to cook? Every single meal was brilliant.

"Well, sadly not all of us can be like you," I sighed. "Oh, Sirius Black, love of my life, could you please pass the salt?" I winked at him.

"Thought you'd never ask," He deadpanned.

I had always liked Sirius. All of the Marauders, really. Sure, when they were younger, they were annoying little twats who caused way too much ruckus – and I was usually stuck with cleaning after them – but they were good kids really.

"Oh, Remus?" Marlene asked. "Have you listened to that new Unlucky Ammunition record? It's brilliant," she exclaimed.

"I have! Track two is brilliant, don't you think?"

Once again, Alice was away with Frank, somewhere down the House Table. I loved her deeply, but she really was happier when she was with Frank. Her whole face lit up whenever he was around, her eyes were brighter and her smile was wider, and the same thing went for the bloke whenever dear Alice was nearby.

For some odd reason, Dumbledore seemed to be watching the students very attently, more that usual. His half-moon shaped glasses were crooked, hanging from the bridge of his nose, and he was wearing his ever so famous purple dress robes. Really, did that man not own any other colour?

His eyes were positively glinting, and a smile played on the old wizard's face. I felt like he was staring right through me. Then, he whispered something in Professor McGonagall's ear which caused her to chuckle.

I finally decided to look up at James – really, I had no idea why I hadn't done so before – and found him laughing along with Peter about some weird, absolutely unfunny joke Sirius had told.

You see, James always laughed at the most unfunny jokes. His laugh was warm, and loud, but in a very calming way, and it was always a very genuine sort of laugh. The sort of laugh that made your eyes crinkle and caused you to tear up a little bit.

I found myself smiling at the sight. After ridding my head of such thoughts – really Lily, James is your friend! – I made a mental note to check with the other Prefects how their Mentouring was going, and to inform some of the most recent ideas that James and I had come up with.

* * *

The morning had passed in a blur. For some reason, I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything; my mind was simply somewhere else, but I refused to acknowledge the nature of such distracting thoughts.

Luckily, the afternoon class wouldn't been too hard: I had a natural talent for Potions, at least according to Professor Slughorn. I think the reason I had liked it so much from the begining was that it reminded me of cooking with my mother and Petunia. You simply needed to watch the heat and work your way around a recipe.

Being a Muggleborn, I had much more confidence in practical classes like Potions that had clear directions to follow than I had in others, like Transfiguration.

We'd probably revise the effects of Gillyweed or something along those lines, and Professor Slughorn would ask Remus to wait around for a bit – surely to deliver him his first batch of the Wolfsbane Potion. The full moon was just around the corner, and he needed to take the potion every day of the week prior to the transformation, so it was the most probable turn of events.

I really admired Remus and found him extremely brave for facing such painful transformations and yet still managing to be kind and warm to those around him. He was very lucky to have such good friends; most wizards ran away as soon as they discovered someone to be a werewolf. Complete rubbish, if you ask me but that's life, I suppose.

My mind drifted off to James, again. Lately, it seemed he was the only thing on my mind. It was getting harder and harder to behave normally around him. In my head, there was a very perfect logical explanation for it. James used to be my best friend, who proceded to end said friendship without any explanation, and now he was back in my life with full force. It was only natural I found myself thinking about the situation.

* * *

"Earth to Lily?" Marlene waved her hand dangerously close to my face. "Anybody home?"

"Uh, what?" I was very confused, my vision was blurry, and the exhaustion was finally affecting me – I told you, I woke up tired.

"Come to the dormitory with me? I need to grab my Potions book," Marlene requested. Her shiny blonde hair was secured in a long plait and she wasn't wearing her House tie.

"Sure." We stepped out of the Great Hall and made our way to the Seventh Floor.

"Password?" The Fat Lady – the portrait who guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower – asked.

"Cherry Mice," Marlene replied, and turning to me, she added.,"Just wait in the Common Room, I'll be right back."

I stepped through the portrait hole. To be quite honest, I hadn't entered the Gryffindor Tower a single time for almost a whole month. My routine was always the same, the only places I frequented were the Great Hall, the classrooms, the library and the Head Offices and dorms. Well, on mornings such as today, I often visited the kitchents, but that hardly counts.

The fireplace was unlit, and just short of two students were inside the common room. Well, it was obvious that it would happen, with it being lunch time and all. Most students were eating or walking on the Grounds with their friends.

Marlene was true to her word, and after just a short four minutes she was back in my sight, Potions book in hand.

"I'm here, I'm here," she huffed, tired. Her cheeks were rosy from climbing all the way to the seventh year dorms, and her neat plait was now messy. I fixed it for her, and then we walked all the way down to the dungeons, where the Potions class would take place.

There was another thing I liked about Potions class - its location. Just like the library, the dungeons were quieter than the rest of the castle. However, they were also colder, which could get pretty unconfortable during the winter months. In class, I never personally noticed the chilly temperature, for the heat radiating from the cauldrons was more than enough to keep the whole class toasty warm. The problem was when the students were dismissed, and had to walk through the cold, cold corridors.

Hogwarts really should invest in some Muggle heating devices.

* * *

Potions went just as I had predicted. Really, I should have kept Divination on my Schedule. Apparently, I did possess the Sight, no matter what the teacher used to tell me. Or maybe it was just dead old Slughorn who was very, very predictable.

After supper, we still had Astronomy class – it was a Wednesday, and on Wednesdays we always had Astronomy. Professor Vengala never really did anything. Mostly, the students stared at the stars, and some of them even managed to steal a few kisses. You see, the Astronomy Tower was a famous site for snogging. It must be the heights.

"Good evening, everyone." Professor Vengala was a short bloke, and on the chubbier side of the spectrum. His balding head was very round, like a coconut. He didn't have a beard, but he did possess a very long, greying moustache, which he claimed to be in fashion. You see, Professor Vengala was a very… unusual man. He wore sunglasses to class, even though he always teached at nighttime, and he refused to wear robes - he always wore muggle clothing.

The class began, and as usual, no one did anything out of the ordinary, which in Astronomy, meant lazing around. I found myself glancing at James quite a bit. One time, I found him staring back at me, but I didn't find myself to be embarassed. I just kept looking at him.

It was strange, our relationship. It was a newly restored friendship, but it didn't feel so simple. It was difficult to label, that was certain. Personally, I felt there was a very big sense of mutual trust between the two of us. But some time this week, I had felt a shift in the dynamic of our friendship. It was more intense. I'm not sure how to put it, but it was different.

Today the stars were very, very bright. It was a beautiful night, especially for November. The sky was almost completely clear, which was unusual in itself, but even more at this time of the year. No matter how beautiful the enchanted ceiling from the Great Hall was, I had always liked the real deal a lot better.

Professor Vengala droned on and on about meteors and shooting stars, and the position of Venus that particular day.

"Venus is concerned that we use its energies to attract and relate to others, to be social and to nurture understanding, and it makes us more sensitive…" I zoned out, something I seemed to have been doing all day long, and pretty soon, the class had ended.

* * *

After everyone left the class, I stayed behind for a little while, and for some reason, James did too. We just stared at the stars in silence, not saying anything, not doing anything. It wasn't awkward; it was a very comfortable silence. But, as I had started to realize, so was everything with James. He had the power to make even the shyest of students feel comfortable and at ease. Perhaps that was why he was such a good Head Boy.

"You know," I finally spoke to James, after a few minutes of silence, "I wasn't immediately thrilled to find out you were Head Boy."

"Oh? Bit of a shocker, really." James gave me a light-hearted smile. I looked up. It really was a beautiful night.

"Don't mock me!" I shoved his body playfully. "I wasn't. It's true. I tried to wrap my mind around the idea, I tried to justify why Dumbledore would pick you of all people. But now it makes sense."

The young Potter – not so young anymore – chuckled. "I tried wrapping my head around it _myself_ for a long time, actually. I've tried figuring out, why Dumbledore chose _me_. Yes, I've got good grades, and I made Quidditch Captain at fifteen - I know that's impressive. But does it matter? Remus was a much better fit, and it's unfair that he can't be in this position because of something he can't control."

"Then I suppose I shouldn't have made Head Girl either. What do I have on my side? Good grades? Mine don't matter any more than yours do, you know," I told him, truthfully.

"You shouldn't have made Head Girl? You? But you're the obvious choice, Evans."

"Why is that?"

I could never have prepared myself for what he said next.

"Because," he stopped, and held my arm to keep me from moving,"Lily, because you're you. You work your arse off twice as hard as anyone else just to be recognised, and I don't think you mind it all that much. You had your best friend of six years call you a Mudblood in front of the entire school, and then you bounced back from it. You're fair, and you're just, and you're smart. You tutor Second Years, and stop to help when a scrawny, annoying Firstie drops their books. You found out about Remus and you never shut him out. After what Sirius did, you were the only one who never gave up on him. You're the kindest person I've ever met, actually. And that, that right there, is why you are the obvious choice. Because you don't give up on people, ever. You always see the best in everyone, even when they don't deserve it."

I hadn't realized how close our faces were until now. If I took one step foward, our noses would certainly touch. My heart felt like it had stopped. I held my breath, and so did he.

James Potter had fantastic hazel eyes. The kind of eyes that were brown and gold and green, all at the same time. He looked at me so intensely that I felt like he knew every single part of me. After that, James Potter let go of my arm and I took a step back.

"I should probably go," I muttered. James gulped.

"Yeah, you probably should," he whispered back. So I did.

* * *

**A/N: **See? I am very, very sorry. They are just not ready yet!

But really, did you like this chapter? Reviews are Jily surviving and raising Harry with love and cuddles.

Yours,

Adriana


	12. Of Meltdowns and Sirius Conversations

**A/N: **Hello guys! Yes, I am back! I've been on such a writing kick lately! Do you guys remember me mentioning the chapter lenght average being 2000 words? Well, I have been writing over 3000 words on every chapter for the last couple of months so that is pretty cool, right? This chapter is over 3600 words, so I'd say that's pretty cool eh?

Also, my next chapter is already written, I just need to send it to my beta, so it shouldn't take too much time! Maybe one or two weeks?

Now, answering your guys' reviews:

**oracle987: To be honest, I really don't know what to say! Your review made me happy for days, it was that good! And I also do have a habit of rambling in my own reviews and such, so I really do get what you were saying! Thank you! Thank you for reading and for thinking that about this story! I try to tell things in a very honest way, but sometimes it is difficult because I obviously have not experienced a bunch of things they have, but I am really glad you have been enjoying this so far!**

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Disclaimer: I'm not the lovely author and creator of the Harry Potter world, so none of the characters belong to me. Of course, you already knew that.

* * *

I was astonished. The walk back to my bedroom was a difficult and quiet one. Did that _really_ just happen? Of course, I wouldn't read too much into it. James and I were friends, really. He was just my more than handsome guy fr- _no,_ Lily! Bad Lily. You will not indulge in such thoughts.

As soon as I reached my room, I couldn't even be bothered to take off my clothes; I needed to talk to someone, _immediately_. Alice and Marlene just wouldn't do. I needed to speak to someone from outside. Someone who didn't know about our story. Of course, _everyone_ in our bloody school knew about me and Potter. James. Whatever, I should just stop overreacting, because really, that's what I was doing. It was completely mental, and I needed to calm down, I had to.

But wouldn't you overreact too? Probably not, I mean, _nothing_ happened, it was absolutely _not_ important, but I was a worrier! Yeah, that's why I was thinking so much about it. But there was no other reason whatsoever. Really!

Anyway. I decided that a shower was in order. The water always helped me clear my thoughts. I loved showers. Hair a little greasy? _Shower_. Thoughts a little messy? _Shower_. Need to escape reality? _Shower_.

Who invented showers anyway? Merlin, I was rambling, and it was _not_ healthy.

The hot water scalded my skin, making it a bright pink colour. Why did I have to be so pale? Damn you, red head genes. I couldn't even tan without getting sun burnt or freckled!

I decided to turn the water temperature to a cold setting. My shampoo had a lovely apple scent and the neutral shower gel always left me feeling incredibly clean. I wrapped my body with a lavender towel, and my hair with another one. I put on my pyjamas and tried to sleep.

I wish I could say I brushed it off easily and actually managed to rest, but that just wasn't me. For hours I tossed and turned in my bed, in no position worthy of sleep. I could almost hear Tuney calling me a freak. I really was one. Not in the way she meant it though.

Nevertheless, the whole incident kept replaying in my head. The way James' Adam's apple bobbed in his throat, the way he nearly tripped over himself talking, but especially the intensity with which he looked at me. I've said this plenty of times already, but that's not the way he looks at things every day. It makes you feel… _special_.

Concluding that I wouldn't manage to sleep, even if I tried my hardest, I settled for getting up and sitting in the window sill, staring at the moon; it was nearly full.

But honestly, you couldn't blame me for thinking about it. It was only just a couple of hours ago! Not that I was counting, because I absolutely _wasn't_. Besides, nothing had happened. Hell, I didn't even _want_ anything to happen, so it was okay, really. It just took me by surprise, that's all. That madness ended _now_.

I watched the sun rise, and took my time getting ready for classes. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

One week had already passed – time was flying by this term! – and so far, I hadn't been able to remove _The Incident_, as I now liked to call it, from my head. It just wouldn't go away! Merlin, I was doomed. It didn't even make any sense! James was obviously my friend, and I didn't even _want_ a boyfriend. I suspected it was only because it had been a particularly beautiful nig- _whatever_.

Anyway, in just ten short days, we –the other seventh years and I – had managed to form a group of fifteen people willing to learn how to defend themselves.

We assembled one Friday afternoon in the Room of Requirement, and discussed the idea, brainstorming. After that, we created a magical bond – Remus helped me with that – that would make sure no information would get to the wrong ears, namely the Death Eater wannabes. To outside forces, these meetings should be perceived as study groups, nothing else.

Besides we, the Gryffindor Seventh Years, – the Marauders, Marlene, Alice, Dorcas, Frank and myself –also managed to get some other prefects to join us, such as Mary McDonald, Hanna Baker, Adam Groven, Rebecca Hollis, Bart Lee, my friend Sharon and even the Quidditch Commentator, Hestia Jones.

So far, things had been going by smoothly. James and I had assigned everybody tasks in true Head Student fashion, if I do say so myself, which mostly consisted of research work, at least for now.

We kept wondering whether we should talk to Dumbledore about this, but we settled on keeping quiet, at least for the time being.

* * *

It was a chilly November day. Snow already coated the grounds, for there was only one month until Christmas. I needed to start figuring out the presents and gifts I was going to give everyone. James hadn't acknowledged _The Incident_ at all. And I suppose that was the right thing to do because, really, it didn't mean _anything_.

As Head Students, James and I were currently designing patrol schedules. For some reason, Professor Dumbledore had requested every month to have a different Schedule. Something about people not conforming? I hadn't the foggiest; the man was brilliant, but completely off his rocker.

"Lily," James called exasperated. "You're doing it again." He ran his hand through his hair. I wished he'd stop. Not that it influenced my well-being, it absolutely did _not_. It was rather distracting though.

"Sorry."

"Is everything alright? You've been distant this week," he asked, concerned. Or maybe just annoyed. Probably the latter, I figured.

"Oh, no, it's fine. Let's just get to work, okay?" I pleaded. He nodded, and silence filled the room.

After half an hour of noiseless work, or pretend-work on my part, James spoke up again.

"Let's go to the kitchens." Too distracted to think clearly, I silently agreed.

* * *

The hours were already stretching thin, and it was getting quite late – well, it was still six in the afternoon, but it really was dark, perhaps because of all the snow.

The light in the corridors was dim, but most of the student body was in the Great Hall, dining. Why James wanted to have supper in the kitchens was beyond me, but I was grateful for the lack of annoying chatter.

We walked in silence. At least, that's what it seemed like. I hadn't said a complete sentence in days, at least not to him. Which really did not make any sense whatsoever. So I decided to take action, and tried to actually start a conversation.

"Christmas is just around the corner." My voice was hoarse from all the talking I had not been doing. "What do you reckon I should give Sirius?"

"Throw him a dog bone, he'll be happy to fetch it for you." I saw the corners of his mouth twitching.

"He really does seem to have a thing for mutts, doesn't he? I mean, the other day I called him a dog and he nearly spilled his drink." By then, James had stopped dead in his tracks, and was laughing like a mad man.

"You're all raving lunatics," I told him, shaking my head in disbelief. It felt good talking to James again, making him laugh.

"Oh Lily, so sweet and innocent," he grinned at me. Clearly, I was missing something, the bigger picture. I huffed out of frustration; I hated being held out of the loop of things.

"How about you let me in on the secret James?" I batted my eyelashes at him in what I hoped was a flirty manner, and when that failed, I gave him my best impression of puppy eyes.

I guessed he noticed how I was just kidding, for he simply responded, "Oh I would, but then I'd have to kill you, love." He winked.

He did not just call me that! James, why must you mess with a girl's mind? Do you _enjoy_ my suffering? Do you? I was overreacting again. Pathetic Lily, truly pathetic. _Of course_ he was just being friendly, there was _no_ reason whatsoever for me to take this so seriously.

Merlin, if I were to take everything this boy said seriously, I'd think he and Sirius were shagging. _Oh, the mental images_. So obviously, it didn't mean anything, anything _at all_.

And the fact that he'd nearly kiss-_no, Lily_! Nothing happened, stop worrying! God, I was completely mad. Just because a bloke tells you some nice things, oh, and they were lovely to hear, it doesn't mean you should start overanalyzing everything said bloke does or says. Because that's not what calm, collected, sane people do, and I was Head Girl, for Merlin's sake! I simply needed to get my emotions in check, not that any emotions were involved, because there _weren't_.

"Lily?" James asked. When I failed to answer, he continued. "And you talk about me." James laughed, shaking his head in disbelief, looking at me like I had grown another head.

"What did you say?"

"You're completely mental, Evans, has anyone ever told you that?"

And here I was, worrying about a stupid pet name. What a freak. It was obvious James was simply my very snog- _no_. We were only mates.

"Never mind." I told him. "God, I am tired." He burst out laughing again.

"Come on Potter, get a grip." I pretended to scold him.

"Yes, ma'am."

We walked for a couple more minutes, and soon we reached the kitchens. I had an omelette – Merlin, those House Elves can cook! – and James ate some fried chicken. Then, he proceeded to _inhale_ unhealthy amounts of pudding, the lazy arse.

"You're worse than Vernon!" I told him. It wasn't true, he could never be worse than Vernon Dursley. I don't think there is such a person.

"Did you just call me vermin?" I burst out laughing.

"Not vermin, you dolt," I tried saying between snorts. "Vernon!"

"Who's that, and who the heck chose his name?"

"My sister's fiancée. Really charming bloke, really, though rather on the fatter side." James' eyes were wide in fear.

"Tell me more about this charming bloke, Evans," he asked, and I was happy to oblige.

"No, you were right about 'Vermin', he really does look like a slug, actually. And Merlin, is he boring. I'd take Binns's lectures any day over him. And the moustache, James! Oh, the_ moustache_!" We laughed like maniacs; my eyes were already filled with tears.

James threw his arm around my shoulders. "Oh, my sweet dear Lily! The things you have to endure!"

He was laughing, I was laughing, and his arm was still on my shoulder. I was not going to overthink nor was I going to overanalyze this. Speaking the truth, it felt comfortable, and I was not going to muck it up. It felt good, being able to enjoy James' company without having to worry about anything else.

* * *

_What was I thinking?!_ Why did he get so touchy? I really was pathetic. It was nine p.m. on a bloody Saturday and I was stuck in bed, fretting over things that were way beyond my control.

I didn't get like this when Sirius or Remus did the same. Well, neither of them have nearly snog- _okay_, we didn't even kiss. Not that that I wanted to, because I absolutely did _not_! What was I even fretting over?! No-thing happened!

Merlin, two mental breakdowns in less than twelve hours? I hoped St. Mungo's already had a ward specially reserved for me, because I was obviously off my rocker. Ridiculous. Go to sleep, Lily.

* * *

Our faces were ridiculously close to one another. I looked at his bespectacled hazel eyes, and took one step forward. The amount of tension between us was unbelievable; I ached to touch him. This time, James Potter didn't tell me to go, this time he kissed me. His lips were soft and he tasted like chocolate and _oh my God, what was that sound?_

I woke with a start.

Stupid bloody moronic dreams; it was like Divination all over again. Who even cared about rubbish like this? Not me, because nothing had happened. And it didn't even mean _anything_, so I would _not_ think about it, really.

It was starting to be a bit frustrating, really. Honestly, you ought to get this out of your head. So bloody ridiculous. I could have been dreaming about the love of my life, my significant other, but instead I was stuck with that prat. A very attractive prat, yes, but- _stop_, Lily. Merlin you are insane.

It was nearly eleven a.m. as I walked into the Great Hall and instantly secured my spot on the Gryffindor table. Alice and Peter were already there, and I said my hello's cheerfully enough.

"What's gotten you in such a good mood?" Peter asked me, his mouth full of eggs and bacon.

"Any sweet dreams lately?" Alice teased me. She was wearing her trademark sweet smile, but I, of course, knew better.

"Oh, not at all." I flashed her a dashing grin. "In fact, I was just glad you were sitting here with us. You're always off with that boyfriend of yours nowadays." _Ah-ha, take that, Fortescue!_

Alice blushed profusely at my comment. "Jeez, woman, calm down - I was just messing with you." I laughed.

"Fortescue. Evans. Wormy." Sirius Black greeted us all with his usual smirk.

"Decided to leave the robes upstairs, did you Black?" I teased him. Not only was he not wearing his school uniform, he was strutting around the castle in his pyjamas.

"You see, these show off my curves so much better," he deadpanned. The table erupted in laughter.

"Really, though, why are you dressed like that, Sirius?" Alice asked him.

"Marauder punishment, my love. That's what happens when you get detentions on certain days of the week." He took a sip of his pumpkin juice. "Or do you not remember the _Purple Hair Incident_ from last year?" Peter cracked up at Sirius' words.

"Oh I do." She was also laughing. "James looked quite dashing if I do say so myself."

"Where is he by the way?" I asked. "And Remus. Let's not forget about Remus; that would be counterproductive." I rambled. They all looked at me like I had lost it, which let's face it, was not very far from the truth.

"Hell if I know, you're the one who shares the dorm with him," he snapped at me.

"Oh, right. And Remus?"

"Eat your waffles, Evans." Sirius was smiling; he'd obviously caught on my stupid attempt to distract them from my actual question: _Where the bloody hell was James Potter?_

Not that I cared, because I _didn't_.

Well, maybe I _did_, but _only_ because I knew James was an early riser and it wasn't like him to skip breakfast. I was his mate and I was worried, that's all. _Really_.

Today was a Sunday, so we didn't have any classes. I was quite disappointed by the fact actually; since my mind wouldn't be very busy, then it'd have no trouble finding something to mull over. And I was done over thinking things.

"Are you busy?" I asked Sirius. He lifted his eyebrow at me.

"It's a bloody Sunday, Evans. What in the world would I be busy with?"

I stood up and grabbed his hand, taking him with me as I stepped away from the Great Hall, leaving Alice and Peter alone once more.

"What in the – " Sirius attempted to say.

We stepped through the doors and walked outside. Oh, the fresh air did wonders to my mood. I sighed, content. I then proceeded to sit under the Beech tree and waited for Sirius to do the same.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked me.

"Nothing." I said, not meeting his eye.

"Yeah, right." He snorted. "You can talk to me, you know that, don't you Lily?" Sirius was suddenly very sullen.

"Of course I know that." I smiled at him. "I just wanted some peace and quiet, that's all."

"Do you remember the summer after Fifth Year? Merlin, I spent my days trying to understand you. And I'm not sure if I managed to do that one hundred percent," Sirius said to me.

"Oh, you get me just fine," I told Sirius. Which was true; for all his faults, Sirius Black had helped me at a time when I felt most lonely.

"So tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just worried."

"About what?"

"About James."

Hearing the name of his best mate, Sirius lifted his head and looked me in the eye.

"What about James?" he said wearily.

"He's been acting strange, don't you think?" I said. I couldn't believe I was actually going to discuss the matter. But I figured, if I didn't have it in me to trust Sirius Black, I didn't have it in me to trust anyone. Anyway, I could distort the facts a little bit.

"Is he?"

"What, you haven't noticed? He's always sulking in his dorm. But I never talk to him about it, because when I'm with him, it's like he's alright, even though I know he isn't. But he won't tell me anything," I admitted. That was actually part of the problem. It irritated me that he hadn't touched the subject of our little Incident, but he _was_ distant, just like he had been at the beginning of Fourth Year, before _you-know-what_ happened. I wouldn't manage if it happened again.

"Oh, that." So it was an actual problem, not some weird creation of my own. "I think Prongs just needs a little time alone, that's all. I wouldn't worry too much," Sirius tried to assure me. I was just concerned. I feared that our Incident had driven him away. But that wouldn't make any sense; he hadn't even acknowledged anything yet, because _nothing had happened!_

"It's like he's slipping away again. I don't want to wake up with another note on my pillow," I confessed.

"_That_ was probably the stupidest thing he's ever done. Trust me, it's not going to happen again." And I trusted Sirius Black, so that was that.

* * *

**A/N: **Did you like it? Do you like my Lily/Sirius friendship? I'm gonna dive into how they got to be really good friends in a couple of chapters, so be on the lookout for that!

What do you enjoy reading about? What don't you enjoy reading about? Do you want to know more about a certain character, or a certain situation? I have made a cheat sheet, in case you haven't read that yet, be sure to ask for the link!

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Also, I think I've read all the good Jily fics there are, but in case I haven't, would you mind recommend me your favorites?

Thank you! I'll be back soon with a brand new chapter!

**SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER**

**THE TITLE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER IS... "OF AMORTENTIA, CARRIE VILHS AND ANIMAGUS"**

Reviews are what makes happy Jily and the Marauders+Harry.

Love,

Adriana


	13. Of Amortentia, Carrie Vilhs and Animagus

**A/N: HEY GUYS! YES, IT'S ME! IT'S BEEN A MONTH, AND THAT IS INEXCUSABLE, I AM SO SO SORRY! BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, THIS CHAPTER IS A BIG ONE, THE NEXT CHAPTER HAS ALREADY BEEN SENT TO MY BETA, AND THE CHAPTER AFTER THAT IS ALREADY HALFWAY THROUGH!**

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**I think I already replied to all of your reviews, but in case I haven't let me know!**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Harry Potter, even though I'd like to keep James for myself.**

* * *

We sat there for a couple more hours, discussing trivialities such as the weather or the approaching Quidditch match – Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw, I believe. I noticed how Sirius wanted to dive into the subject of James once more, but I really didn't want to talk about it.

And I knew Sirius wasn't one to discuss his feelings all too much, but I was so used to closing up, I guessed he just wanted to make sure that I knew he was available if I needed him, which I knew and appreciated very much.

After a while, we decided it would be for the best if we swung by the kitchens to eat something, seeing as we had both missed lunch.

"Have you talked to him about it?" I asked Sirius.

"I have _tried_, does that count?" The Gryffindor huffed out in frustration. "I swear to God, that boy has no trouble showing emotion. If he's in a mood, the whole bloody school knows it. But getting the reason behind said moods out of him? Trickier than getting _you _to talk."

"Did anything happen?" He asked me. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"No, of course not," I answered quickly, because it was the truth, nothing_ had_ happened.

Honestly, I was getting more and more tired of replaying the Incident in my mind. Nothing at all had happened, and I better start acting like it. I was done over analysing everything, over thinking things all the time, acting awkward around everyone… That ended _now_. I was putting a stop to it.

Tired from my conversation with Sirius, I waltzed back into my dormitory, only to find James –_oh, the irony_– climbing out of the portrait hole.

"You weren't at breakfast," I pointed out.

"Didn't feel much like eating." I could tell he was surprised to see me. "McGonagall wants to see me. Did you get a note as well?"

"I didn't, actually," I told him. "But I wouldn't worry too much, she probably just wants to discuss Quidditch. The game's right around the corner." I gave him a reassuring smile.

"Maybe." He nodded, and then proceeded to leave the tower, but not before I asked him if he wanted me to wait up for him. "It's alright, you must be exhausted. You should take a nap or something."

James left the Common Room, so I climbed up the stairs to my bedroom and took a hot shower.

I decided it would be for the best if I just followed James' advice. I really was tired from lack of sleeping, so I figured, a quick power nap couldn't hurt anyone. What I wasn't expecting was to sleep all through supper, waking up just a measly ten minutes before seven am the following morning.

"_Shit_!" I shouted to no one in particular, you know, since I had a solo bedroom, so I was alone. I quickly rose from my bed and hopped into the shower, brushing my teeth in the process.

I didn't have any time to take proper care of my tangly hair, so I magically dried it and fixed it into a messy ponytail at the top of my head. Today was a Monday, and because we would be having Potions, I decided to ditch the robes and simply wear the skirt, shirt and tie of the Gryffindor uniform. Alright, it _was _a cold morning, but the Potions classroom was always hot anyway.

I went down for breakfast and positively inhaled my strawberry waffles. It was nearly eight o'clock when I finally reached the Potions classroom, and I sighed happily when I noticed I had not only made it on time, but managed to arrive a full five minutes early.

"Jeez Evans, are you actually happy to be early for Potions?" Noticing the flush in my cheeks, and probably the miserable state of my hair, James asked, "What happened to you?"

"Made the mistake to follow your advice last night, that's what happened." He chuckled. Suddenly remembering our meeting yesterday, I slapped my forehead. "What did McGonagall want?"

"Oh, she just wanted to warn me about tutoring. Apparently, _Carrie Vilhs _is not very 'Transfiguration prone', if you know what I mean."

"That bint?" I asked. Carrie Vilhs had to be one of Hogwarts's biggest slags. I mean, I wasn't one to condone the one night stand trend, what with Marlene being such an avid practiser of it, but Carrie had quite the reputation. You see, the difference between Carrie and Marlene was that to Marlene, it mattered whether the bloke had a girlfriend. To Carrie, it _didn't_.

"Oi, Evans." Sirius graced us with his presence. That's how he always put it, anyway.

"Hey, Sirius." I waved. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm grand. Are you feeling bet-" He shut up promptly once he took notice of James.

"Uh, we should go inside." The class was about to start. I was in _no _way whatsoever trying to avoid James' questioning glares.

Professor Slughorn paired up the class and of course, I got paired with Sirius. It was a nice opportunity to answer his question.

"Good morning, today you will be brewing Amortentia. I believe you are all familiar with this potion, as we have studied it previously. But nevertheless, the directions and necessary ingredients are on page 376 of your book if needed. Good luck." The Slytherin Head waved.

"This one is so easy, _Jesus Christ._"

"Evans, contain your excitement, woman." Sirius was laughing at my flushed cheeks. It was true though, I loved Potions, and Charms! I guess that when I put my mind to it, I could be quite the nerd and I didn't think that was a bad thing at all.

The truth is, Amortentia wasn't actually an easy potion to brew, but practice makes perfect; I had spent a lot of my sixth year afternoons practising different potions in the presence of Professor Slughorn, so I was quite familiar with most of the brews in our _Advanced Potions _textbook.

* * *

After nearly eighty minutes of hard work, our potion was finished. It had a beautiful mother-of-pearl sheen to it, and there was spiralling steam coming out of the cauldron. Sirius and I were sniffing the air, trying to catch a glimpse of the scent.

"What does it smell like to you?" I asked Sirius.

"Oddly enough, it smells like detention," I laughed, "and gingerbread cookies – Mrs. Potter always baked those. How about you?"

"I'm not sure, I am not really getting it." It was true. I could find hints of different scents here and there. After a while, I finally started catching a whiff of something more prominent.

"I think parchment, definitely… Oh, and pine trees – my family owns a cabin in the woods – and there's a bit of leather there, as well," I finished. Overall, it was a heavenly scent.

Sirius appeared to be lost in his thoughts, and I found myself turning my body backwards, glancing at James. I wondered what we smelled in his Amortentia. Knowing him like I did, probably something like Quidditch and chocolate fudge.

"Sorry I didn't notice Prongs before," Sirius added sheepishly.

"It's okay. But I'm fine, really. I am finally thinking with a clear head. Thank you."

"Any time. But if it helps, I can talk to him."

"Oh, don't bother, really," I added, but I could tell Sirius was going to ignore my request.

* * *

After Potions, a free period followed – Marlene, Alice and Remus had Herbology – so Peter, James, Sirius and myself retreated to the Head Common Room. Peter proposed we play a game of Exploding Snap. I was feeling pretty confident - I was brilliant at that game. We sat at the wooden table and played for what felt like hours and hours. I always loved hanging out with the Marauders, as did Alice and Marlene.

But really, that wasn't surprising at all. The year the lot of us were sorted, nearly every student went to Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff – us Gryffindors needed to stick together.

The balance of our house was only shaken once the Evans-Potter friendship had ended, or at the very least, paused. That created quite the rift, with me and James on opposite sides, and the remaining Marauders, Alice, Marlene, Frank and Dorcas being stuck in the middle.

I really was glad that all of that was sorted now. James and I had stopped being friends at fourteen years old, and now, we were seventeen, with myself turning eighteen in just two months, so really it was time we put old feuds behind us.

I never did get an explanation as to why he had wanted so fiercely to end our friendship, so my guard was usually up, in case it were to happen once more. But just like Sirius had told me yesterday, he believed it wouldn't happen again, and I really did trust his judgement.

After all, for all his faults, Sirius was a trustworthy guy, and I couldn't stress that enough.

It baffled me how some people could treat him so poorly based on the rest of his family. One time, Rosier and Yaxley were taunting him, calling him a blood traitor, and Remus and Marlene had to _physically _hold me back from punching the two Slytherins. They didn't like me already, because I was a Muggleborn and all, but that only made them hate me even more.

So it was a very handy, practical thing that James and I were friends again; I didn't want to burn any more bridges, if you know what I mean. That was, of course, only the practical side of things. On a deeper emotional level, I really knew how good of a friend James could be, and I was always happy to hang out with him and have a laugh over the silly things he and his mates always seemed to be doing.

* * *

After supper, Sirius and Peter had to join Remus and Marlene for Muggle Studies. Alice was off with Frank, so that left me and James with nothing to do. It was actually one of the few times of the week we could actually set some time aside to study or properly work on Head Duties, so we cherished – and dreaded – every single minute of it.

We were just short of twenty minutes alone in the library when I felt someone sit on the vacant chair next to mine, in front of James.

With blonde curly hair, a tiny button nose, and a beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes, was Carrie Vilhs. Her face may lead you to believe her to be innocent and the purest of girls, but that couldn't be more far away from the truth, and she had the outfit to prove it.

With a skirt that was two inches shorter then it was actually _allowed _to be, and three buttons of her shirt undone, Carrie was what the human population usually enjoyed labelling as a 'slag'. And sometimes, seeing her in get-ups like the one she was currently wearing, I couldn't help but do the same, even if I knew it was wrong.

"Hello, _James_." Her voice was high-pitched, and she always had this habit of giving emphasis to one of the words in each bloody sentence! The girl was speaking in a tone that was more flirtatious than it was appropriate, and – Merlin! Was she actually batting her eyelashes at him?

James looked up, unimpressed. "Yes, Carrie?"

"I was doing some _homework_, you know," she gestured towards her table, "and I've searched about every single book in this library but I still _can't _get the questions right." She pouted. "Would you mind helping me out for a bit? If you're not _too _busy, of course."

"Sure, just bring your stuff here, alright? I'm sure Lily won't mind." He nodded at me, as if asking for permission.

"_Alright_, just give me five minutes." She scampered off to retreat her things, only to arrive at the table merely two minutes after. I noticed she had undone one more button on her white dress shirt.

"Okay, so, as I was _saying_…"

* * *

Honestly, the whole thing was nauseating. Carrie was flirting with him the whole time, paying more attention to James than she was paying to his explanations, which caused him to have to repeat himself over and over and over again. It was all rather frustrating to watch.

Every time his hands were above the table, she'd cling onto his arm, and every time they weren't in plain sight, neither were hers. I didn't want to imagine what in the world she was doing, but I had a few ideas. I hardly thought the situation was fair, for James was way too good for Slaggy Sues like Carrie Vilhs – and _honestly, _woman, would it really bother you to button up your shirt a little bit more? The sight of her overexposed cleavage was bothering even _me_.

The stupid footsie games that Carrie was playing under the table were blatantly obvious, but she was clearly distracted by something else, since she ended up hitting my leg nearly as many times as she did hitting his. However, I wasn't too sure whether Carrie's flirting techniques were bothering James or if he was actually enjoying them. He was only one hormonal bloke after all, but Merlin, was Carrie irritating.

"God dammit, Carrie!" I had shouted, after what felt like the millionth time Carrie accidentally brushed her leg against mine. That was not one of my proudest moments, but the girl had been getting on my nerves the whole afternoon! It was only fair that I'd explode. Knowing myself the way I did, I was actually surprised with the pretty decent amount of time I had lasted before I had done so.

After being done with homework, however, Carrie didn't leave. In fact, she kept asking James more and more stuff, some of which wasn't at all Transfiguration related, and when, after explaining the same thing over nearly two billion times, she finally managed to vanish the hefty paperweight she had been working with, she felt the need to throw herself at James, hugging him.

"Thank you _so _much, James!" she had said. At the sight of it, I started to pack my things, and left the library to fume in peace. The two of them should be able to have their fun anyway.

It was nearly six o'clock, so I went down for supper. Apparently, Peter and Sirius had detention, and both Marlene and Alice were off with their boyfriends, so I was left dining alone with Remus. Not that I minded, not at all! Remus was one of my very best friends!

A couple of minutes after I had arrived at the Great Hall myself, James Potter himself also entered through the doors. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were sparkling, and there was a bit of a hurry in his step. Had I known James and Carrie got along_ so_well, I'd have left ages ago, but I _really _did need to finish that Ancient Runes project, and my mum always said that school work was more important than hormonal outbursts.

James sat down in front of me – I was sitting on the left side of Remus – so I refused to look up from my plate. How could he? Just less than two weeks after the Incident and he was already snogging other gir- _No. I would not think of that._

Promptly, I left the table and barricaded myself in my bedroom for what felt like days and days on end, but was really only a couple of hours. I heard James arrive, calling for me, and I refused to answer. I didn't exactly know why, but I _was _cross, even if I really did not have any reason to be it.

I heard Sirius' voice, but since he was in detention – apparently Dungbombs were not appreciated in Muggle Studies class – I assumed James and himself were talking through the mirror, but I couldn't catch any of what they were saying.

Realizing I wouldn't answer his calling, James was left dumbly knocking at my door.

"Lily, come on. I know you're in there... Lily, I can hear you breathing." Damn me and my heavy breathing habits. "Even if I couldn't, I have the map. Just come out of your room..._Please_?"

"Fine, James." I opened the door, and he smiled at me. "But only because your knocking really is an irritating sound."

"I have something to show you." He told me, serious all of a sudden.

"Okay, show me."

"I can't do that _here_…" He ran his hand through his hair. "We have to go somewhere else, outside maybe."

"The grounds? It's after curfew, James! Would you mind waiting until tomorrow?" I would never understand that boy.

"Please, trust me. I need to speak with you." That's what did me in. James was finally going to talk. Maybe not about what I personally wanted to discuss, but he was talking nonetheless, and that itself was no mean feat.

"Alright," I conceded.

James threw his Invisibility Cloak over the both of us, and with the aid of the Marauders Map and our sudden invisibility, we were able to reach the Black Lake without any trouble at all.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I spoke to Sirius." I froze. I didn't want to let him know it affected me, however, so I quickly regained my composure.

"Yeah?" I asked in a tone that I hoped sounded nonchalant.

"You know there's quite possibly nothing that I regret more than hurting you, don't you, Lily?"

"Uh, I think so."

"Well, it's true. And I know, I know I've been distant, but that's got nothing to do with you. You shouldn't have to worry about me, I'm fine. _I am. _But I am going to let you in on one of my big secrets now, so I really need you to not tell anyone about this, alright? I mean, I don't think you would tell anyone, of course, but this really isn't just my secret."

"James, you don't have to tell me anything, alright? It's okay, reall-" He cut me off.

"But the thing is, Evans, I really do trust you, I do, and this is something I've been meaning to tell you for a while. Sirius just gave me a push in the right direction."

After that, he transformed into a stag. An enormous, majestic stag, with strong legs, thick fur that was a really dark brown colour and proud antlers. The tiny little scar James had on his chin? The stag had it too, but just below its left antler. When I finally realized why he'd have to change into an animal, I suddenly got really angry. It was so brave, so, so brave of him, but also incredibly stupid. I felt like those two adjectives best described the essence of him.

"James, could you please change back?" The stag nodded, and after a few short seconds, James Potter was standing in front of me once more.

"What - were - you - t_hinking_?" I muttered – or maybe I shouted? I'm not too sure – while punching him in the chest. "I doubt you were even thinking at all! Are you mental?! Do you have any idea what could happen? I know werewolves cope better with animals than they do to humans, but still! ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"Oh, come on, Evans… Padfoot and Wormtail do it too! Peter's a rat and-"

"Sirius is a dog," I realized. "Of course. Of bloody course." Then I started laughing. Like, really laughing. I looked like I'd lost my mind.

"Uh, Lily?"

"What you three do every full moon is incredibly brave, I'll give you that." James was smiling, and I shook my head at him, taking a step forward. "But I swear to God James, if _anything_happens to you, I _will _kill you." And then I turned my back and strolled back to the castle, hiding a smile. "Are you coming? It's bloody cold out here."

* * *

**A/N: Did you like it? Was it worth the wait? Leave a review telling me all your thoughts on it!**

**About the next chapter: (skip this part if you don't want any information on it - it's not very spoilery though) "In which someone ends up in the Hospital Wing, Remus is in on the secret and Lily sleeps for twenty hours straight."**

**Love,**

**Adriana**


	14. Of Hospital Beds and Bleeding Limbs

**A/N:** Hello! Yes, this is me, and I back with a brand new chapter! 10 days guys, that's got to be an improvement from the entire month it took me to upload the last chapter, right? I hope you are excited about this chapter, please, please don't kill me, this was necessary!

Disclaimer: Not Jo :( I love James Potter.

* * *

"Lily, there's a boy here to see you!" my mum called.

"Tell him I'm not home!" I shouted back from my room. It was the second week of summer holidays after Fifth Year. Severus had stopped by every single day so far to apologize and mope, and let me tell you one thing, I was done with Severus Snape. I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to hear about him, and I most importantly did _not_ want him pestering me in my summer holidays.

I heard a voice downstairs, and it did not belong to the Slytherin in question. Curious as to whom it actually belonged to, I finally came out of my room, and walked towards the door.

"Well, if you could tell her Sirius Black stopped by, I'd very much appreciate it." He was just turning around when I finally plucked up the courage to speak.

"Black." He turned around and smirked.

"I knew you were home, Evans."

"Of course you knew," I muttered under my breath. "Come on up." We walked up the stairs to my bedroom, and even though he had never been there before, Sirius promptly made himself at home. He stretched across my bed, his feet touching the floor.

Because it had felt right at the time, I lay down next to him.

"Why'd you come here?" I asked him.

"Prongs wanted to come see you."

"But he's not here," I noted.

"I know you better than to think you'd actually like to see his face after what happened." That was true, and it was very wise of him to notice that. Sirius turned his head to look at me. "I know you know I don't like Snape very much."

I was about to interrupt me when he continued. "_But_, I do know he was very important to you. You're an alright bird, Evans, and he's a downright git if he doesn't get that."

If just a month before, you had told me Sirius and I would have spent the whole summer together, laughing together in my bed, crying whenever Snape showed up to annoy me, I would have laughed in your face. But fate works in a funny way sometimes, and ever since James broke it off, and I had lost Severus to the Dark Arts, Sirius Black was the next best thing and I loved him dearly for it.

We spent our afternoons in Diagon Alley and our evenings in Muggle London. I couldn't bear to be near home, near Severus. Every time I passed the swings, I broke down in tears, because really, they only reminded me of everything I had lost; first my sister, and now my best friend.

The whole school went mental when after that fateful summer; Sirius Black and Lily Evans were friends. Not acquaintances, not _friendly_, but completely, one hundred percent friends, in the truest sense of the word.

* * *

I remembered that particular summer as I sat on the cold plastic chair of the Hospital Wing. It was a Tuesday night, just after eleven in the evening, and it was nearly curfew when Peter came to get James and I. Apparently, Sirius had had a row with some Slytherins. Regulus was among them, so I pretty much guessed what had happened; some insults here, some insults there, and three Seventh Years ending up in the Hospital Wing on a school night.

As soon as we heard about it, we rushed to see him, but he wasn't beaten up too badly, only a couple of bruises and a broken finger that Madame Pomfrey had easily healed with her Skele-Gro.

When we got there, Sirius was asleep – potion induced, obviously, but asleep nonetheless – so we just sat down around him. Rosier, however, was awake, and was eyeing the lot of us in a very disgusted manner. With the help of my wand, I closed the curtains around him, which only enhanced his frustration towards us. _Sore loser, much?_

* * *

Madame Pomfrey encouraged James, Remus, Peter and I to leave. After all, none of us were actually _ill_, and _our friend Sirius would still be there in the morning_. James told the remaining Marauders to go and have a good night's sleep, and assured them that he would stay and watch over Sirius. Reluctantly, they left the Hospital Wing, promising to be back first thing in the morning.

James also asked me to go, to sleep in my own bed, since sleeping in the Hospital Wing could be quite tricky and rather uncomfortable, but I was adamant. Sirius Black was my friend and I was not going to leave him, even if it were for the night only.

He tried to convince me, bribe me even – _the nerve!_ – but it was no use. I was preparing to lie down on the wooden bench that ran all across the Wing when Madame Pomfrey walked in.

Clearly, she wanted to see us gone, but our resolve was strong, and I think she took notice of that, for she allowed us one bed nevertheless. "I will not have any students waking up with sore backs."

Just like when James' parents had passed away and we had slept in the Head Common Room, James offered me the bed, but I was having none of it.

"James Potter," I began, "I don't care if you think sleeping on a wooden bench for me is chivalrous, but I am telling you now, you either sleep on the bloody bed, or you sleep in your dormitory."

After a lot of argument on both parts, we ended up sharing.

At first, it was awkward, like all bed-sharing experiences are, of course- hands brushing, limbs touching, and my cheeks turning an embarrassingly deep shade of scarlet. In the end, the two of us still fell asleep quite easily, if I do say so myself, with our backs facing each other. Personally, I hadn't had much sleep the previous night, so I was knackered.

* * *

I woke up to notice James sleeping peacefully next to me. Once I caught sight of our intertwined limbs, a dangerous flush of heat rose to my cheeks.

I lifted my head to see Sirius and Remus in deep conversation.

_"… __yeah, I can see it now…"_

_"… __just don't push…"_

Careful to not wake up the sleeping boy next to me, I slowly sat up on the bed. I cleared my throat. Remus and Sirius both looked at me, silent once and for all.

"Morning. Are you feeling better?" I asked Sirius.

"Yeah, I am," Sirius nodded. "You didn't have to spend the night here though. Neither of you did." He motioned towards James.

"Rubbish." I shot him a warm smile.

"See what I told you, Remus?" Sirius winked at me. "Bird can't live without me."

I shot him one of my '_if James wasn't sleeping I'd get up and punch you'_ glares, in response to which he merely chuckled, promptly waking up the Head Boy, who appeared to be very confused. I slapped my forehead; I lived surrounded by idiots.

* * *

I was just walking out of the Hospital Wing – Madame Pomfrey had refused to clear Sirius, so I promised I'd get him some proper breakfast. On my way to the Great Hall, however, I heard someone calling me, and realised my trip wasn't going to be as simple as initially planned.

"Hello, Mudblood," Nott sneered, Yaxley and Avery following right behind him. "What's a pretty girl like you doing all by yourself?" The rest of the Slytherins laughed.

"I don't think I owe _you_ any explanations," I said curtly. "Now if you'll excuse me."

"Oh, you're not leaving," he informed me. Placing his hands on my hips, he said, "Evans, if you weren't the disgusting little Mudblood that you are, we'd all take our turns on you. You see, princess, having dirty blood is already bad, but messing around with blood traitors like Black and Potter, _at the same time_? I didn't know you were such a _slut_." He smirked at me.

"I see you've finally decided to visit your friend Rosier? The poor boy was looking rather lonely last night." I smirked at him. Hanging around the Marauders so much clearly had some influence on my behaviour.

"You _bitch_…" I kicked him in the groin, but soon realized my mistake. Skilled and resourceful as I was, I was still outnumbered.

I shot a couple of hexes their way, stunning Yaxley in the process, but Nott had quickly recovered and Avery was still going strong. Battling the two of them was no easy task, so I couldn't be grateful enough to hear footsteps approaching. I was utterly disappointed once I realised that they belonged to Severus Snape. This was it, after rejecting his attempts at mending our friendship so many times, he was finally going to get his revenge. The power to save or curse me was in Snape's hands, and I wasn't impressed by my chances.

"Come on, leave her alone," Severus warned the boys. His voice was hard and cold, his black eyes showing no emotion whatsoever. I was astonished.

"Oh? Getting friendly with that scum again, are we Severus?" Never in a million _years_.

"Oh, not at all." He smirked. "I simply don't find it wise to get your hands _dirty_ at this time of the day, do you?"

Even though I was already over our lost friendship, I was still hurt by his words, but I rapidly freed myself from such thoughts. It was his loss, anyway. However, I still felt grateful to him, even after that last comment of his.

"Alright, we're leaving." Avery sneered. "But… maybe first… _Crucio_!"

I screamed. My bones suddenly felt like they were on fire; the pain was simply too much to bear. All rationality left my mind, and I was going to die, I was sure of it. It felt like my body was eating itself up from the inside. Surely, this was worse than death. I screamed until my throat grew sore - I cried until I couldn't see anything. And then it stopped.

"I always knew you were a screamer."

They had left, but the pain was far from gone. I couldn't breathe. I was left kneeling on the floor, crying my eyes out. I couldn't think, I had no notion of time. It was like someone had turned me inside out. Like I had been burned, destroyed, Avada Kedrava-ed once, twice, _twenty_ times.

I leaned against the wall for support, and just stayed there, a shaking mess. I tried calming myself down. I was starting to breathe evenly again, but Merlin, it hurt. It hurt so so much.

After what felt like hours, I tried getting up. No one, I decided, would be hearing about my run-in with the group; it simply wasn't worth the hassle.

* * *

I walked into the Great Hall to pick up some food for Sirius. I was a girl on a mission; I wasn't to act oddly. I simply needed to grab some toast and leave, no questions asked. As soon as I walked in, heads turned. I wished I was exaggerating, but I really wasn't. Even if I didn't have an enormous gash across my leg, I would still be limping. I was trying desperately to forget what had happened, but my body insisted on shaking.

As soon as Marlene took notice of my bleeding limb, she lifted her hands to her face and rushed over to me.

"Lils? Oh, Merlin! Lils… what _happened_?"

"I… It's nothing." I attempted to smile, trying to soothe her, but even that hurt, so what was supposed to be a comforting grin, was more of a painful grimace.

"You have to tell someone. I don't care. We're going straight to Dumbledore, I swear to God-"

"Marlene… It's alright, I… just take me upstairs, okay? I just want to sleep…" I drifted off. I was exhausted; I was tiring my body over all rationality, but my pleading look convinced Marlene to take me up to my room.

It was with great difficulty that I climbed up the stairs all the way to the Seventh Floor. I couldn't have done it without her help, that was for certain.

Just before Marlene closed my door, she told me, "You can sleep all you want, Lily, but I still have to tell someone what happened, you know that. Even if it's just Sirius… he needs to know." And then she left.

Did she not realize what was going to happen if she talked to Sirius about it? He would go mental. He would start hexing people all over the place, and I couldn't have it on my conscience if something happened to him, to any of them really, if they hurt themselves while trying to protect me.

I was woken by a knock at my door. Honestly, I didn't even remember falling asleep, but I really was exhausted from the Cruciatus.

"Come in," I managed to croak out. Now that there was no more adrenaline and the pain had had time to set in, my body was incredibly sore.

I watched James walk in. I had no idea how he had managed to pass the enchantments – he was, after all, of the male gender – but I couldn't be bothered to ask.

"What happened to you?" His eyes were red.

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"No, Lily, you're not just fucking tired!" he snapped. "You were supposed to grab Sirius breakfast, and then _you didn't come back_. Marlene came to the Hospital Wing crying her eyes out and no one has seen you in almost two days. Sirius won't tell me what's going on, so what the fuck happened?" He was angry, his hands were flying everywhere, messing his hair even more than usual.

"What do you mean? I've just been sleeping."

"Evans, no one sleeps for twenty hours straight." Twenty hours? No, that wasn't possible. I didn't even remember falling asleep!

"It's alright, I've just been tired. But are you sure, twenty hours? I've missed so much… _the content, the homework_…"

"Don't worry, you can have my notes… Just please, Lily. Stop lying to me! Why can't you all just tell me the truth for once?" A single tear was rolling down his cheek. I could tell he was trying to keep his emotions in check but he wasn't being very successful. "Lily, I swear to God, you better tell me what happened. Sirius has been worried as fuck, Alice hasn't stopped crying… Everyone is worried about you!"

"I'm not worrying everyone."

"Okay, fine, forget everyone else!" James' voice got suddenly quiet. "What about _me_?"

"Everything's fine!" Somehow I found the strength to sit up. "Why are you making such a big deal out of this? I'M FINE!" I didn't want to worry anyone and I most certainly didn't need anyone mollycoddling me. "Why hasn't Alice stopped crying? What exactly did Marlene say? What does she _think_ she knows?"

"I don't know, she won't tell me! Neither of them will tell me!"

"Neither of them actually _know_ what the fuck happened, alright?" I was weak, and I was getting tired. I couldn't fight anymore.

"Tell me, Lily. Please. I only know what everyone else knows."

What? They couldn't possibly know. "What do you mean?" I managed to croak out.

"I just heard you got to the Great Hall very battered. Apparently, Marlene took you out of there before anyone could see much more." I was sitting on my bed, crying, reliving the incident. James had kneeled in front of me, and it was clear as water, he was worried about me. He was _actually_ worried about me.

"I _can't_ talk about it. I don't want to mess any of you up. And I don't want you to baby me."

"You can tell me _anything_," he said, a serious look on his face.

"Marlene knows as much as everyone else. So does Sirius. I don't know why they're acting so oddly."

"They're worried about you. _I'm_ worried about you. Please trust me on this." My body was shaking. All I could see was James' distraught expression and I hated myself for making him hurt.

"I got into a fight," I explained vaguely, sheepishly.

"Lily. _Please_." The way he spoke my name, the way he pleaded, the obvious hurt of his voice was what finally cracked me. I couldn't see him like that.

"I can't relive it again, James," I confessed. "I am so tired. I just want to sleep, and not have to wake up."

"Okay… Fine. Lie down, alright? I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back. Don't worry."

James scribbled something on a piece of paper and sent it off with Leeyana.

"I felt so helpless. I don't want to feel like that ever again. And it's not that I don't want to tell someone, or that I don't trust you, any of you. But I know, I _know_ that you guys are going to freak out. I don't want you to go off and do reckless things because you think it will help it, because it won't. They'll just target you. If Rosier hadn't seen me in the Hospital Wing, none of this would have happened."

"What did Rosier do?" James hissed.

"He didn't do anything." James placed his hand on top of mine. "I was outnumbered, James. I was so weak. And then Snape showed up-"

"What did that little… Oh, I'm going to_ kill_ him-"

"No! You're not! You are being reckless and ruthless, and I will not stand for that! If you want to know what happened, you need to calm the fuck down and promise me that you won't do anything, because I swear James, I'll never speak to you again-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What did they use on you?" He urged me to continue.

"The Cruciatus…" I could see anger bubble through him like boiling water. James was livid, but he was trying to hold back.

"_Fuck_… You can't let them get away with this!"

"I'm tired, James. I just want to sleep." Silence.

"Scoot."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not leaving you alone, Evans. I'm not letting you out of my sight, not after today."

James lay in bed next to me, and pulled me closer to him. His arm was around me and his chin was resting at the crook of my neck. I inhaled his scent. It was clean, fresh, but very woodsy as well. It was delightful. I was tired and my brain wouldn't shut off, but just being around James made me calmer and caused me to fall asleep. I didn't hear what he said next.

"Lily… If anything happens to you, I swear I'll go out of my fucking mind."

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was a rollercoaster... at least it ended on a positive(ish) note, right? I am hoping to get the next chapter up by ten days/two weeks, somewhere around that... It might be hard though, it's finals week and a family member died monday night, so I am a little swamped atm, but I will try to write anyways!**

**Also, props for Lily/Sirius friendship! I know you guys love these two :)**

**I really, really hope you liked this! And, if you liked the tiny description of this chapter I gave in the author's note of my last chapter, and want some insight on the next one, keep on reading!**

_**In which all is well, everyone is happy, James gets emotional and Lily realizes something.**_

**Reviews means happy Jily!**

**Love,**

**Adriana**


	15. Of Holidays and Midnights

**A/N: Hey! I am back! Yes, this is me with a new chapter! I would like to warn you guys - this one might just be a little feel-inducing. It is a very, very exciting one for our characters! I don't want to deny you from your reading, so onto the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: As if I could ever compare to the mighty Rowling. Psssh.**

* * *

Suddenly, it was Christmas, and we'd already had two more meetings. A couple more people decided to join in, and after much emphasis on the theory of the spells, and the practice of a few simple, defensive ones, we decided to move on to some trickier jinxes. Ever since I got attacked, James wouldn't leave my side. And when he did, he made sure either Remus or Sirius was there with me.

It wasn't that he was coddling me – and we'd fought plenty about that – but he swore it was just for precaution, and I had to admit, it did made me feel safer. Only my closest friends knew what had happened, and after Millie Vincent was found in her knickers during patrols, the Hogwarts Gossip Mill soon forgot all about me limping into the Great Hall.

I was much better, healed, and done with my grief. I shook it off and continued with my life as usual. When Sirius had found out, he was furious. When Marlene and Alice had found out, they were enraged. It was lovely knowing I had people who cared for me. It was hard, but I had managed to keep them from doing anything stupid.

One day, just as I was walking through the library, looking for a book on Ancient Runes, I caught sight of something. It was with great pleasure that I found Sharon sitting with her new protégée, Charlotte. Charlotte was a Ravenclaw first year whose family had passed away a couple of weeks ago; the Killing Curse, they had said.

Charlotte Roomsey was a little Muggleborn girl, who just happened to be a Metamorphmagus. Today, she was sporting long, violet hair, which went beautifully with her blue and bronze uniform.

After receiving the news of such a tragedy, she had been quite distraught – who wouldn't be? – and she had sought out Sharon, who was, alongside James and myself, the First Year Mentor. I was glad to see Dumbledore's idea was going smoothly. After all, new friendships could be seen blossoming all throughout the castle, simply because the younger students really did need people to confide in.

The Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff Quidditch game had taken place one windy morning, but it hadn't been too long before the Gryffindor Seeker, Dorcas Meadowes, caught the Snitch. In the end, Gryffindor had _slaughtered_ Hufflepuff, 210-20. It was a lovely thing to watch, even with the cold that so well defined the Scottish winters.

Still, the term had gone by incredibly quickly and nothing that interesting had happened since the match. Every student – even the lazier ones – had been drowning in school work and exams the whole month, and occupying them with Head Duties, and in James' case, Quidditch captaincy, was getting harder than ever.

However, everything was alright now. It was the winter holidays, and the atmosphere was more carefree than it had been since the term began. Marlene and Alice weren't at Hogwarts, which caused me much sadness, but I found myself constantly surrounded by at least two Marauders, so I really didn't lack company all that much.

Today was Christmas Eve, and Slughorn had hosted one of his Slug Club Parties. Seeing as this would be the last Christmas I'd spend at Hogwarts, I had decided to bring a little gift for the Potions Professor. It was a little bowl with a lily petal in it. Hopefully, when it reached the bottom, it would turn into a beautiful wee fish. I'd done all the Charms work, and was actually feeling quite proud of myself.

Currently, the Marauders and I were in the Head Common Room, waiting for the clock to tick midnight. Seeing as none of us would be sleeping quite soon, we decided to make a sleepover of sorts out of it.

Marlene and Alice had already owled us their presents, and I'd already sent them mine as well. To Marlene, I'd given a bit of makeup and glow in the dark condoms, as a joke. To Alice, I'd added a protection enchantment onto a little potted cactus – for some reason, the girl found those adorable – and a pack of scented candles.

From them, I had received some Muggle and Wizard novels and one record by The Beatles, Abbey Road. It was my favourite, but sadly I had never gotten it on vinyl – until now, at least!

The five of us sat in a circle in front of the fireplace. Peter had brought down his stash of Butterbeer, and I drank happily as James and Remus played a game of wizard's chess. I noticed Sirius was still quite down, but I knew it was better to let him mull things over for a bit. That was what happened every time he had a fight with his brother.

"Check and_ mate_."

"Not again!" James whined. "How are you even winning so many games?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets." Remus grinned at him.

"A magician? What's that supposed to mean? We're all wizards here."

"Muggle thing, never mind," I laughed. James was so clueless about the Muggle world; it was rather amusing.

"You're just not paying enough attention, mate," Sirius told him.

"I am paying plenty attention!"

"Not to the game, you aren't." At that, James blushed profusely but the reason behind said blush was beyond me.

It was five minutes to midnight, so I left the room and climbed up the stairs to my dormitory, leaving the two boys to bicker in peace. Poor Remus and Peter. I grabbed the presents and came down.

"Santa, is that you?" Remus chuckled at me.

"It's obviously Lily, Moony." James rolled his eyes, causing Remus and I to nearly die of laughter.

"What's so funny?" Remus and I had finally calmed down, but once we looked at the confusion on James' face and then back at each other, we began laughing like mad people all over again.

"Guys, guys, _guys_!" Sirius called us. "It's midnight, time for presents!"

I was glad to see Sirius happier. He really just needed some time to brood on his own, and even though it usually took longer to pull him out of a mood, today was indeed Christmas, and Sirius Black's favourite holiday. During Christmas, Sirius was like a little kid in a candy store - incredibly sweet, and enormously annoying.

"Alright, you child!" I grinned cheekily at him. "Here's your present; now go and play with it and leave the grown-ups alone." James fell about laughing.

Sirius ripped open the package, and as soon as he saw what was inside, his lips formed a grin from ear to ear. He tackled me to the ground. "Evans!" Sirius had wanted a motorbike for some time now, so I'd gotten him a bunch of muggle biker magazines and his very own leather gloves.

"You're welcome, Black." I smiled at him.

"I suppose I should give you my present as well." James gave Sirius an amazing leather jacket. "I reckon it goes with your gloves, right?"

"When you don't have a stick up your arse, you're alright, Prongs. So _this,_" Sirius grabbed a package, "is your present." Inside the box, James found a Puddlemere United Quidditch jersey that read 'POTTER' on the back.

"Signed by Owen Birch himself." Owen Birch was James' favourite player and Puddlemere United was his favourite Quidditch team. The boy looked like he could have cried!

We continued giving and receiving Christmas gifts from each other. The Marauders, Marlene, Alice and I had all banded together to get Remus some books and a deluxe pack of Honeydukes' finest chocolate. I'd gotten Peter a planner and some really cosy socks, while the Marauders had gotten him a ton of Zonko's products; Dungbombs, fireworks, you name it.

It was nearly four a.m. when James finally gave me his present. Everyone else was already asleep, so it was just the two of us hanging out in front of the fireplace.

"I knew you'd kill me if I'd gotten you anything too crazy, but I hope you like it anyway." James ran a hand through his hair.

He handed me a tiny little red box and inside, was a beautiful silver necklace with a stag pendant hanging from it; I put it on immediately.

"Thank you, James! It's beautiful." It_ was_ gorgeous, but what made me so happy about it was the symbolism. I loved it.

"Here's yours." James opened the package carefully and inside he found two wrist watches.

"Thanks, Lil." He smiled at me.

"You're not getting it," I explained it. "One's for you and one's for me. I got the idea from the twin mirrors you and Sirius have." I fastened one of the watches around my wrist and the other one around James', not quite looking him in the face as I did so. "You know when I was attacked? I never want that to happen to you."

"I don't quite understand it." He seemed confused, and rightfully so. I was rubbish at explaining things.

"Do you see the little white ring around the watch?" He nodded. "It changes colours. Let's say, if I'm angry, your watch is going to turn red; if you're in danger, mine turns black. It works both ways."

A flicker of emotion flashed through James' eyes and he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in his throat. "I… I don't know what to say." He shook his head. "Thank you, Lily. It's brilliant - I love it." I smiled. I was so glad he had liked my present. But really, I was Lily Evans, Christmas gift extraordinaire.

James scooped me up in a tight hug. "Merry Christmas, Lily."

"Merry Christmas, James."

* * *

It was still the holidays, but everyone was already at school. It was a yearly occurrence; the great Marauder New Year's Party. It happened every single year in the Gryffindor Common Room, and every student was excited about it. Chatter filled the corridors, and it almost felt like the normal days at Hogwarts, but the atmosphere was obviously more laid back since there was no studying to do or homework to work on.

It was the last day of December and the Marauders had required the Gryffindor Common Room to stay empty for the afternoon, in order to prepare everything. Peter and Sirius had snuck down to the village to grab food and beverages while James and Remus stayed behind to prepare everything. It felt great seeing Marlene and Alice again. It was just now that I was actually realizing how much I had missed them. It had only been two weeks, and the summers were far more painful, but I still enjoyed reconnecting with my best mates.

Ever since Christmas, I hadn't stopped thinking about James. Things were escalating rather quickly, and it wasn't that any of us felt anything more than friendship, or that anything at all had happened between us, but we had already been through so much that everything seemed much more intense. Every phrase, every glance, every awkward brush of hands, all of it; Marlene enjoyed calling it unresolved sexual tension, but that was just a load of codswallop.

Really, James and I simply shared a great bond of trust. We'd seen each other at our best and at our very, very worst. I was still trying to adjust to having James' emotions constantly on display on my wrist. It was helpful, though. In the holidays, he and Sirius had gotten into one or two rows with some Slytherins, and thanks to the watch, Remus, Peter and I had always managed to get to them before anything serious actually happened.

I looked down at my wrist. "Checking on James again, are we?" Alice's blonde hair was charmed straight, and it fell just above her shoulders. It really complimented her brown eyes and little heart-shaped face. You'd never know it just from looking at her, but even though she was incredibly nice to everyone, she was one of the toughest girls you'd ever meet.

"Shut it, Fortescue." I threw a pillow at her head. Alice, Marlene and I were sitting in my bedroom, talking nonsense and catching up on everything.

"Not for long, though." She lifted her hand, and right on her little, delicate finger sat a diamond ring.

"What? How could you be back for three days and hold out on me like this?" I hugged her. "Did _you_ know, Mar?"

"I did, actually." Marlene laughed. "You've just been too preoccupied with that watch of yours to notice anything." She smirked at me like she knew something I didn't. Stupid Marlene. I could always find some new friends anyway. Maybe I'd keep Alice.

"I am so happy for you, Alice!" I hugged the blonde again. "Frank outdid himself."

"I am very happy. And I don't care that we're young, or that we haven't been dating for more than three months, it just feels right, you know?" Alice's eyes were sparkling. She really did light up every time she talked about Frank. "Besides, I've known him all my life."

"Are you coming to the party tonight?" Marlene asked me.

"Obviously." I scoffed. "I've got to show my undying support."

"Oh, of course. Undying support my arse!" Alice laughed, which caused me to promptly chuck another scarlet, velvety pillow at her. No, I was definitely getting rid of Alice as well.

"I really don't know why you get yourself all worked up about James and I," I told them truthfully. "Lupin's obviously more of my type. Sarcastic, studious, the perfect combination!" I nodded to myself.

"Lily, dear," Marlene placed her hand strategically on top of my shoulder, "You are so full of crap. Denial doesn't suit you well."

"Okay, I'll admit, sometimes it's confusing. But it's just that he really broke my heart when our friendship ended – I mean, you saw the state I was in back then – and then we got very close again, very fast. Sometimes it's hard to separate things. But I'm sure that's all there is to it."

"Who would've known a stupid Divination seminar could change things so much?" Alice inquired.

"Divination's got nothing to do with it, 'Lice." Marlene turned around to look at her friend. "It's Lily and James. No matter what, they'd always find their way back to each other."

At that, heat rose to my cheeks, causing them to turn an embarrassingly deep shade of scarlet. At least it matched the drapes.

"Oh, shut it you." I made to throw her a pillow but soon realized I had none left. "Damn it."

* * *

As soon as I stepped foot into the Gryffindor Common Room, I noticed the blatant differences between it and the corridors. Whilst the corridors were dark, cold, and the lighting was dim, here in the Common Room the party was already in full swing. The room was bright and full of life, and not only Gryffindor students were hanging round, but people from all four houses had shown up.

"Alright, Evans?" I heard a voice behind me; James.

"I'm splendid. And yourself?"

"Jesus Christ, Lily." James ran his fingers through his hair. "You sound like Padfoot! Please stop…" I laughed at his antics.

"Alright, alright." I lifted my hands up in the hair, faking my surrender. I noticed the bottle of Butterbeer in his hands and asked him where he'd gotten it from.

"Want me to get one for you?"

"Sure." James nodded, promising that '_he'd be right back'._

Just as the Gryffindor returned and handed me my very own drink, our hands brushed. My body warmed instantly and I quickly felt my whole face warm up. The spot he'd briefly touched burned.

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

James tucked a strand of red hair behind my ear. "Don't mention it."

I was already feeling the nerves, tension building up inside me. Butterbeer wasn't going to cut it - I needed something stronger. And was it just me, or was it really hot in there?

"You don't happen to have anything stronger, do you?" I proposed, taking a gulp at my drink.

"You called?" Sirius Black sauntered over to us, his usual smirk playing on his features.

"I meant Firewhisky, Black." I shot him a cheeky grin.

"Thought you'd never ask."

"We should send the younger kids to bed, though," James added. "Do that, will you?"

"Lily, he makes a slave out of me," Sirius whined but did as told anyway.

* * *

It was nearly midnight, and I'd already had a bit too much to drink. Of course, I was still conscious and able to make logical, rational decisions, but nevertheless, my cheeks were flushed, I felt a little too warm, a bit lightheaded, and a bubble of giddiness had settled at the bottom of my stomach.

Sirius was off snogging someone, Alice was with Frank and Marlene had left to find her boyfriend for a New Year's kiss – Lucas hadn't come to the party. Said he had to study, or something along those lines. I didn't really get it; no one else actually did school work in the holidays, especially on New Year's Eve, but I'd stopped trying to understand the minds of Ravenclaws during my second year.

Still, all that coupling up left me all alone in the middle of the Common Room. Well, of course, I wasn't really alone; the Gryffindor Tower was positively packed, and Remus, Peter and James were playing a game of Gobstones.

I was wearing a nice dark blue dress. My mum had forced me to bring it to Hogwarts and I told her that it was pointless, since I wouldn't have any occasion to wear it, but now I was glad she had packed it inside my trunk. Since it was December – well, almost January, actually – I had brought along a coat, but the heat radiating of the dozens of people, the warmth coming out of the fireplace, and the Firewhisky as well, had already warmed me up.

I picked up a glass of water, trying to sober up the little I'd drunk, and looked around. Everyone had paired up with someone, and the countdown was beginning. My guess was no one wanted to give up his or hers midnight kiss, but I wasn't bothered at all. I wasn't too keen on showing affection for someone who didn't mean anything to me.

_"__Ten, nine…"_

"Lily!" James called out my name and walked towards me.

_"…__seven, six…"_

He took the glass away from my hands and placed it on top of the wooden table.

_"…__four, three, two, one… Happy New Year!"_

James dipped his head and placed a kiss on my cheek that warmed my insides.

"Happy New Year, Lily," James whispered in my ear.

And suddenly, looking deep into his beautiful hazel eyes, I realized something.

"Happy New Year, James."

It was obvious, really. I almost felt mad at myself for not having figured it out sooner. How could it have taken me so long? Oh, for the sweet love of Merlin, I was so not in control of the situation – I undeniably fancied James Potter.

* * *

**A/N: So that is that! I told you this chapter would be an exciting one guys! Can't wait for you to read the next one!**

**What did you think of it? Was it good? Was it terribly bad? Let me know!**

**Reviews mean eternal glory.**

**Love,**

**Adriana x**

**P.S: Blurb for the next chapter - do you guys even read these?**

_"In which someone is single all over again, Lily makes a decision and the second term begins."_


	16. Of Decisions and Stomach Leaps

**A/N: Hello! How are you guys! After two excrutiating weeks, here I am! I'm finally on summer break, so that means more writing!**

**Also, please read the Author's note that will come after the chapter, it's got some important information.**

**We reached 100 follows! That honestly means the world to me, your reviews, your messages, it just makes me so very happy. I know this chapter is a little shorter than usual, but it really had to be like this. Otherwise, this would turn into a 6000 word mess, and I'm not ready for that ahahah.**

**However, I will say, this is a very important, base chapter for the next one. I think you're gonna like it.**

**Disclaimer: Are we still doing this? Jesus.**

* * *

"That stupid, lying arse!" Marlene conjured a plate and threw it at my bedroom wall.

"Now, love, try and calm down for a bit." Was Alice actually trying to sweet talk Marlene out of a rage fit? I'd try to help, but it was too amusing for me to do anything.

"Calm down? Calm down, Alice? He was _cheating _on me with Carrie Vilhs! I swear to Merlin, I've never hated that tart so much in my life." She placed her wand on top of my desk and then, she started laughing. "Do you know what's the worst part of it all?"

None of us said anything, but I nodded in what I hoped was an encouraging manner.

Marlene went on. "I'm not even sad! I'm just angry that he didn't respect me enough to not cheat on me."

"Well…" I lifted my hand and added sheepishly, "If it makes you feel any better, I am not a huge fan of Carrie at the moment either."

This seemed to snap Marlene out of her thoughts. "What's she ever done to you? And if Lily Evans is disliking someone who's never harmed her, then hell has officially frozen over."

"She hasn't done anything to me, per say… It's just that, well, James is tutoring her, and…"

"So that's what this is about!" Marlene smiled and jumped on the bed. "You're jealous! You're actually jealous! I told you, Lily, there's no use denying it."

"I am not! I don't think he actually likes the way she throws herself at him. It's pathetic, really." I scrunched up my nose.

"I saw you two last night." Alice piped up. "He kissed you!"

I noticed Marlene opening her mouth to protest – or was it celebrate? – but I quickly interrupted her.

"On the _cheek_! Merlin, you two are like gossiping old ladies! Worse than Sirius, if you ask me."

Marlene laughed so hard she fell of the bed and hit her head on the four-poster.

"Buggering shit, oh bugger, fuck, double fuckity…"

"Watch your tongue, young lady." I pretended to scold her, when really, I just wanted a change of subject.

I mean, I'd just admitted to myself that I actually fancied James – and let me tell you, it was much easier to not fight it anymore – but he'd still broken my heart a couple of years ago, and I didn't want to be weak again. I didn't actually feel like vulnerability equalled weakness; I just preferred not being vulnerable in front of other people.

Besides, I didn't even know how strong my feelings for James were – perhaps it was simply attraction, because James was a rather attractive guy, so really, it was only fair that I found myself drawn to him.

For some reason, it felt like I was trying to convince myself of something. I was really trying not to do it, but it was still difficult to fight older habits. I had always been a repressor, and for months I had been to repress my attraction to James.

And today… Merlin, today I couldn't even look at him without blushing. And I'd started to notice certain things about him – or maybe I'd already noticed them before, but only now embraced my stalker-ish tendencies.

I did feel his gaze on me, though. Maybe it was just a product of my very fertile imagination; after all, I could be picturing all of it in my head. It was so hard to tell with him. James was such a friendly person, nice to everyone – albeit with a few exceptions, but no one actually likes everyone – so it was difficult to know if he was acting nice around me because of me, or if that was just who he was. How should I know if I was special?

During the whole day I had reminded myself of how much of an affectionate human being James actually was, but it still didn't slow down my heartbeat every time I saw him. I was so obvious and he was so oblivious - it was almost sad.

Before my monologue got too serious, Marlene wacked me on the head with a pillow.

"Stop daydreaming, come on!"

"Where are we going?"

"Quidditch practice." She told me, as if it were the simplest and most obvious thing in the world.

"Nope. No way. Not happening. It's cold, and-" I looked out the window. "Is he mad? What kind of mentally stable person schedules a practice when it's sodding snowing?"

"Well," Alice added – unhelpfully, might I add, "Marlene and Frank are playing, and_ I_ am going to watch my fiancée and my best friend, and if I have to suck it up, so do you." She linked her arm through mine and made for the door.

"Wait a second." I asked. I retreated to my bed in order to find James' scarf.

As soon as they saw the "CAPTAIN" stitching on the hem, Marlene and Alice smiled knowingly at each other. I, on the other hand, scoffed at the pair of them.

"What? It's cold out."

"Sure it is, Lily…" And we were off.

* * *

Alice and I climbed up the stairs – Marlene had already gone to the locker room – and I tightened James' scarf around my neck. It really was cold outside. I looked around – Remus and Peter were nowhere to be seen, and not even the first years were watching the practice, probably thanks to the low temperature.

"How are you?" Alice asked me.

"I'm fine." I told her. I didn't understand where she was coming from, as I was obviously alright.

"Really? You seem distant right now. Closed off."

"It's nothing. I've just been a little preoccupied." I wrapped my arms around myself as I tried to warm myself.

"Well, you let me know if you need anything, yeah?"

"Yeah." Alice smiled at me and waved her hands excitedly.

"Now," she turned towards me. "You know I'm getting married pretty soon, right? So, um, I was wondering if you'd like to be a bridesmaid?"

"Of course!" I hugged Alice. "I am so happy that you're happy."

"I know, Lily. Thank you." The girl smiled. "Oh, look!" She pointed her finger at the tunnel as the players appeared. James's Quidditch Uniform was now my favourite thing.

* * *

We watched them practice for about three hours, when James suddenly decided a break was in order, and that they'd meet again on Wednesday after Supper. That would be the first Wednesday of school, as today was the last day of vacation.

I was happy about resuming my classes since they provided a distraction and I welcomed anything that would take my mind off of James.

I decided this was merely a meaningless crush, provoked by a sudden and intense approximation with James after a long period of not interacting with each other.

Merlin, I was turning into Petunia! Cold, calculating, heartless. That wasn't the truth, of course.

However, I did know James didn't feel like that about me at all. He'd never made any moves – except that one time in Fifth Yeah when he asked me out, Severus hanging by the ankle, but I was still sore about James back then, and I'm positive he was just taking the mickey. After all, he did use to be a bit of a prat.

I wasn't sure how to act around him and not give anything away. I wasn't exactly subtle when it came to matters of the heart, and since I was sure his feelings for me were merely platonic, I wanted to avoid what I was positive would be my humiliation.

Again, my mind wandered to James; I was being pathetic! I shouldn't be worried; James was one of my best friends! The rest of the Hogwarts population wasn't, though, I reasoned. Maybe I wasn't being so pathetic after all.

To be quite honest, I had no idea how I was going to handle the situation. Ultimately, I had decided that no one could know, at least not yet. But let me tell you; it was far harder to deny something once you had actually admitted it to yourself.

Maybe I should distance myself a bit from him. It was sure to kill my slight infatuation with James. I didn't want to completely cut him out of my life though, and I knew it would be tricky to balance things out.

Just before heading out along with his teammates, James flew over to where Alice and I were sitting.

"Nice scarf." He smirked at me, and then proceeded to turn around and leave the pitch. Stupid git.

* * *

The first day of school was an uneventful one. Snow still coated the grounds and it was extremely cold, so the pupils found themselves even more tempted to skip class. Nevertheless, we had to go; it was the right thing to do. At least that's what I told myself as I made my way to the dungeons – Potions was our first class on a Monday.

Professor Slughorn didn't seem too thrilled to be back either, for he let us do basically anything we wanted – even though it was N.E. year. Although the exams were still five or six months away, I couldn't help but feel a little anxious already.

I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life once I left Hogwarts. I wouldn't be going back to the Muggle world, that was for sure. After all, magic was a part of me and I didn't want to repress it.

However, ever since Voldemort started to get more and more followers, more and more power, all I wanted to do was help ensure he'd be defeated.

The little defence group me and James had created was a good place to start, but not even remotely enough. After all, we were just kids! I figured I would be training to become an Auror. I could learn more and help battle the Death Eaters from the front lines that way.

Lunch was a lovely affair, but what I was most looking forward to was Supper. The start-of-term banquets always had some of the best food, only bested by the Halloween and End-Of-Year feasts.

The Marauders were noticeably absent but I knew the reason behind it – last night had been a full moon and my guess was that they were exhausted. In fact, they had even missed Potions and were nowhere to be seen during the free period.

I decided it would be best to pack some food and bring it to James's dormitory – I highly doubted they had gone back to the Gryffindor Tower in the thick of the night.

Remus would have lunch in the Hospital Wing, but I figured it would be nice to bring him some treacle tart, so I packed that as well.

I wanted to make a quiet entrance in the Head Boy's dorm because it was very likely that the boys were asleep. Things didn't go as planned; once I had stepped foot inside the room, I tripped over Peter – who _was _sleeping in front of the door – and woke everyone up with the noise.

Their reactions were incredibly different from one another but also incredibly typical of each of the Marauders; James quickly cast a Lumos charm, Peter shrieked and Sirius groaned and told us to '_Be quiet because, bollocks, he was trying to sleep.' _

The rest of the day – heck, the rest of the week – was just as uneventful.

Every other teacher handed in a pop quiz at some point, to check if the students had studied at all during the holiday break. I knew _I _hadn't, even though I probably should have.

I was still set on trying to keep myself a bit away from James, but it was no use. We shared a common room together, for Merlin's sake! But in all honesty, it was hard to keep away. It was like James was a magnet or something! I also found it very annoying that I'd started to notice every single time the female population interacted with him. It wasn't my fault! They were like harlots! It was _James this, _and _James that _and '_You look great in your Quidditch robes, _and it was seriously starting to get on my nerves.

On Wednesday, Alice's order of the bridesmaid dresses arrived and I couldn't be happier about her selection – Marlene would be wearing some purple robes, and I would be wearing some deep emerald coloured ones myself.

* * *

That evening I had patrols with James. It seemed my plan wasn't going too well. How was I supposed to avoid – well, not _avoid, _distance myself from – James if he was basically my roommate and shared most classes _and _Head Duties with me?

Then it finally clicked. At least for tonight, there was a solution. I didn't want to skive off my duties but I could ask someone to go in James's place.

I made my way to the Head Boy's dormitory to let him know he wouldn't have to go on rounds with me. When I got inside his room, James was shirtless.

I noticed the largest gash on his back and it took me everything not to scream.

"James!" I yelled at him. Certainly not expecting my presence, James appeared very flustered. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I was changing?" He offered with a sheepish smile. "We have patrols, you know."

"You're not going anywhere with your back like that! What happened last night?"

"Well… Remus was… a little harder than usual to keep in check. But it's alright-"

"No. Lie down," I ordered. I was planning to simply tell him he could stay in his dorm; I had no idea he'd actually _have_ to, whether he wanted to or not.

"I took it was a rough night, then," I told him as I applied some Dittany to his cut.

The wound made a sizzling sound as the cut started to mend itself together. "All done." I smiled at James and handed him a shirt.

"Great. Then I _can _go on patrols with you." James attempted to get up but I pushed him back on the bed.

"Whoa there, Evans." James smirked. "I'm not letting you go on rounds alone. Not after the last time, I won't-"

I shushed him, placing a finger on his lips. "That's okay. I won't go alone; I'll even take Sirius if that makes you feel any better." James held my hand all throughout my speech. "But I'm not letting you off this bed. Because it's either this or the Hospital Wing, and I'm sure Remus would love some company."

Admitting defeat, the Gryffindor nodded.

"Alright, but you better get Sirius." I waved him off in a dismissive manner, but he caught my hand. "No, I mean it Lily. I really do."

My breath got caught in my throat but I shook my head to rid it from such thoughts. I walked down the stairs, all the way to the Gryffindor Tower in order to fetch Sirius.

"Black?" I called. "Would you mind going on rounds with me tonight?"

"Why do you ask? Seriously, Lils - I'm exhausted." But he got up anyway. We stepped through the portrait hole and made our way to the Astronomy Tower, where patrols usually began.

"Well," I started. "Remus is in the Hospital Wing and Peter is not much of a conversationalist."

"What about Prongs?"

"You don't actually think I'd let him walk around the castle like that, do you? His back is in a right state."

"I told the stupid git to put some Dittany on the bloody thing. Stubborn idiot," Sirius muttered to himself. "Well, this actually works in my favour, I have to admit Evans. I've been meaning to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About James." I gulped.

"What about him?"

"What exactly is going on between the two of you?"

I knew I had decided to keep everything to myself, to distance myself from James, from the situation, to try and get some peace of mind. But seeing him strutting around the castle, making my heart flutter and my stomach leap, I knew I had to tell someone. So even though it could have been my biggest mistake so far – and I'd had my fair share of mistakes, believe me-

"Nothing," I sighed. "Nothing is going on between the two of us."

I don't know if it was the tone I spoke in or something else entirely, but instead of replying Sirius just stared at me.

"What?" I asked him. "Do I have something in my teeth?" This caused him to laugh, but he just told me that _it was nothing and we should just get on with patrols._

* * *

**A/N: I am so so so so sorry for teasing you guys! It was a necessary evil though. And, if you're excited for some drama and feelings, stay on the lookout for the next chapter, which begins right where this one ended.**

**I have already written the next chapter, it is currently being beta-ed and reviewed, but I am not sure when I'll be able to post it, since I am going to be in London for a couple of days this month. However, come July, I should be able to post it! Perhaps even sooner, so I think it will be the usual wait, two/three weeks.**

**And, if you're excited for the next chapter (which I think you should be, as it is one of my ABSOLUTE favourites), here is a sneak peek!**

_"In which Remus and Sirius make a vow, and someone explodes in tears."_

**Exciting stuff, yeah? Will be back soon, Marauder's honour.**

**Love,**

**Adriana**


	17. Of Dark Arts and Feelings

**A/N: HELLO! I am so so incredibly sorry that it has taken me so long - I went on vacation, my beta went on vacation... On a more positive note, the following chapter is currently being reviewed, so it should be up in about two to three weeks.**

**I really think you guys are going to either love this chapter, or want to murder me for it. So, let us begin!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. None profit is being made.**

_**P.S.:**_** _I am super duper nervous about this chapter, but it is also one of my absolute favourites, so I am rooting that you will enjoy it._**

* * *

_Previously..._

_"What exactly is going on between the two of you?"_

_I knew I had decided to keep everything to myself, to distance myself from James, from the situation, to try and get some peace of mind. But seeing him strutting around the castle, making my heart flutter and my stomach leap, I knew I had to tell someone. So even though it could have been my biggest mistake so far – and I'd had my fair share of mistakes, believe me-_

_"Nothing," I sighed. "Nothing is going on between the two of us."_

_I don't know if it was the tone I spoke in or something else entirely, but instead of replying Sirius just stared at me._

_"What?" I asked him. "Do I have something in my teeth?" This caused him to laugh, but he just told me that _it was nothing and we should just get on with patrols.

* * *

"No, really, tell me."

"What do you mean nothing?" Sirius finally inquired. Really, he seemed genuinely confused.

"Nothing means nothing, Sirius. Surely even a dim-witted prick like yourself is familiar with the word?" My words came out harsher than intended, probably due my tendency to attack when nervous, but my grin informed Sirius that I was simply joking.

Meanwhile, Remus walked out of the Hospital Wing – we had just passed right by it.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him, concerned.

"I'm alright... Thanks, Lily. What are you doing here?"

"Lily and I were discussing something. You can join if you want to, Moony," Sirius informed him, causing Remus to chuckle.

"Maybe just until we reach the Gryffindor Tower, then." Remus smiled brightly at me and Sirius. How could so much prejudice and pain make someone so kind? "What are we talking about then?"

"How Evans here completely fancies James." Sirius smirked.

"Of course I fancy him, Sirius, but it's not like-" As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back.

"Lily…" Remus started. "Did you just admit-"

"No!" I nearly shouted. "And you can't prove it!"

"She's gone mental. Completely bonkers." Sirius apparently found the whole situation extremely amusing. Did he not understand that James's feelings for me were merely platonic?

"Lily," Remus nudged my shoulder. "You fancy James."

I groaned into my hands. Remember me talking all about Remus's kindness? Well, he could rot in hell for all I cared about.

"Just don't tell him, alright?" I pleaded. The last thing I needed was for James to find out about my, ahem, affection towards him.

"Marauder's honour." Sirius and Remus both placed their hands on top of their hearts.

Once I returned to the Head's Common Room, I decided I should probably take a look at James, to see how he was doing. So much for distancing yourself from the bloke, Lily. I mentally scolded myself.

I climbed the small spiral stairs that lead to James's dormitory only to find him asleep. He looked so peaceful, almost angelic. Almost, of course. His eternally messy mop of black hair always hinted at mischief. And there was no such thing as mischief in heaven.

I stepped out of his room and decided that it would be best if I just went back to my own dormitory and took a steamy shower.

I undressed myself and entered the bathroom. The hot water scalded my skin and the apple scent of my shampoo filled the room. It relaxed me, which was good, as I had been a little tense, even though classes had just started. I needed to regain control in order to push through my N.E.W.T. examinations.

I stepped out of the shower and put on my Gryffindor pyjamas. It was a colder night so I charmed a blanket to stay warm, and after closing my curtains, I went to sleep.

* * *

As I was making my way to the Transfiguration classroom the next day, someone tugged at my wrist and pulled me down a deserted corridor.

"Let go of me." I found myself staring up at Severus. "What do you want?"

"I just want to talk, Lily."

"Well, I don't want to talk to _you_."

"Nice company you've been keeping these days. I thought you hated Potter and Black." He just about spat out their names.

"I could say the same thing about yourself. _Mulciber_, really?" Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I continued. "I mean, it's one thing to become a disgusting little Death Eater, but I thought even _you_ had better taste than to hang around with _him__._"

"That's not what this is about."

"Oh, but it is. Since when do you care about who I hang around with? I thought I was just another Mudblood to you."

"Look, if you want to keep acting like one of Potter's slags, that's fine by me. I'm just warning you. I don't know why I even bother-"

"Severus." Once Snape looked at me, I resumed my speech. "You wanted to talk? Well then let's talk! You don't have _any _say in who I am friends with, seeing as we are_ not friends. _I'm not sure your Death Eater buddies would appreciate you even looking at me, and yet here you are, talking to me, trying to - I don't know - win my trust back with your poor attempts at '_warning me'! _You're a bit late on that one, with the Cruciatus curse and all."

"I'm sorry, I never meant-" I interrupted him immediately.

"And as for James? He's thrice the man you'll _ever _hope to be. And I'd rather be one of his slags than even glance in your direction." For good measure – and because the Marauders were rubbing off on me more than I cared to admit – I added, "By the way, you really should think about washing your hair." Then I turned on my heel and left him behind, but as I was walking, I collided against a very solid human body. "Oomph."

"Are you alright?" James looked at me, concerned.

"Peachy."

James ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't get sassy with me, Lily. I saw you and Snape back there."

Realisation washed across my features. "How much did you hear?" I asked him.

"I got the gist of it. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong." I sighed. _You always do everything right._

"I meant, I'm sorry about him." I think James noticed the tears prickling at my eyes, threatening to come out, for he opened his arms and said, "Come here" and enveloped me in a hug.

"Hey, hey, _hey_." I pushed him off - gently, of course. "I'm alright, really."

James laughed at me and smirked. "So, it would appear I am a very, very great man, yeah? _Thrice the man Snape'll ever hope to be_?"

"Oh, shut it." I shoved him playfully and we headed to the dreaded class of Transfiguration. I knew I'd missed it when I was on vacation but now all I wanted was to be able to sleep until noon.

* * *

Lunch was the funniest and strangest thing, I don't even remember the last time I had laughed that much. Let me start from the beginning.

Alice and I were walking towards the Great Hall. Marlene wasn't with us and we had no idea where to look, but we found her sitting by the Gryffindor table; that wasn't the strange part.

What was odd was her company – Marlene was sitting with Carrie Vilhs. Apparently, after being dumped by Marlene, Lucas Bell decided that Carrie was a good enough snog – good enough to lose his relationship for at least – and decided to keep dating her.

I was sitting with Alice and Frank a few seats away from the pair when the most amazing thing happened. Lucas went over to them to give his girlfriend, Carrie, a peck on the lips and Marlene, being the brilliant tosser she was, suddenly hexed Lucas's hair off, leaving Carrie snogging a bald young man.

They were now both in the Hospital Wing, attempting to regain Lucas's hair – and dignity as well. In other news, I loved my friends; they were brilliant, even if sometimes they decided that it was _Embarass Lily Evans _time. Those more than a few occasions weren't that amusing, so I didn't know why they insisted on making them happen so often.

On a different note, one thing I was looking forward to was my birthday; I would be turning eighteen in about two weeks, which was nice. In the magical world, turning eighteen wasn't a big deal, but in the Muggle one it was one of the most important moments of your life, so I had that to look forward to.

It was sad that I wouldn't be able to go home for my birthday, but I was happy about spending it with my friends. After all, as much as I loved my parents, going back home was always difficult because of Petunia.

We didn't exactly hate each other – well, at least _I _didn't hate my sister – but it wasn't nice either. Mostly, I just pretended she didn't exist and she did the same, save for family gatherings. During those, we actually tried to pretend we liked each other, but every single person in the room could tell it was forced and strained. Under that kind of pressure, the night usually ended with Petunia calling me a freak, but I was used to it. She hadn't even replied to the letter I had sent her when Mr. and Mrs. Potter had died.

Anyway, I would be going home for Easter, but at least Sirius and James would be coming with me. It was funny, James's birthday this year was just after Easter Sunday, so I knew it was going to be a hectic couple of days. Besides, I'd be able to catch up with Emmeline again! After those couple of exchanged letters, we hadn't talked much but I was happy to spend time with her again.

Bitterly, I reminded myself that there would still be three more months of classes before any of that could happen.

As I was making my way to my dormitory, in order to retrieve some books, Sirius stopped me.

"Hey." I smiled at him.

"Hey, Evans… Can I talk to you for a bit?" He sounded tired, and he actually looked a bit dishevelled, like he'd just ran to catch up with me.

"Sure," I replied apprehensively; I had no idea what this was going to be about.

We walked around for a little while and tried to find somewhere away from prying eyes. However, it _was _one of the busiest times of the day, so students seemed to flood every single corridor. After a bit of pointless searching, we decided to hide in a broom closet, even though that sight could make for some rumours. Oh well, at least the boy in question wasn't too shabby – I shuddered just thinking about what people would assume if they saw me entering a broom closet with Michael Vanders, of all people. At least Sirius was good looking.

"You need to talk to James," he blurted out all of a sudden. My breath caught in my throat.

"No, I can't-"

"You have to, though." He paced inside the little room and lifted his hands to his hair in a manner that reminded me much of the boy in question. "I mean, Remus thinks I shouldn't be pushing you two but it's driving me up the wall."

"What do you mean?"

"You like him! You like James!"

"Yeah, I do, but I can't-"

"Remus warned me about this. Stop being such a bloody ashtray and talk to the bloke!"

"I can't talk to him, Sirius!"

"Why the hell not?! Look, you're my best friend but I had no idea you could be such a dim-witted cow." He huffed, defeated, and sat on the floor. I sat next to him.

"Now, that's not a very nice thing to say to a girl." I smirked at him. Suddenly, I got quiet and the whole atmosphere was more sombre. "I'm going mad."

"Damn right you are."

"No, I'm serious."

"No, you're Lily." I smacked his arm. Was he really making _that _joke? "Talk to me."

"When I say I can't talk to him, it's because it's true! I can't. It physically pains me to get the words out. And when they do come out, they're all jumbled and I can't stop rambling and God, one day I'm just going to burst, you know? And just today, Snape was talking to me-"

"Why was Snape talking to you?"

"Stop interrupting me, you're worse than James... For the love of Merlin's left testicle, shut up for a second, will you? Anyway, did James ever tell you the reason behind him asking you and Remus to never leave me out of your sight?"

"He didn't actually. He told us you wanted to keep it quiet, but James is a worrier; I figured he was just preoccupied."

"Well, actually…" It didn't bother me as much to talk about it now, but it was still difficult to approach the subject. Besides, I didn't want to appear as a complainer. "Avery used the Cruciatus on me."

"I'm going kill the son of a bitch. Agrippa's fucking tits, and James didn't even do anything-"

"I asked him not to. And I'm asking _you _not to do anything, as well."

"Fine." Sirius looked resigned. "Well, you were saying?"

"Oh, yeah." I crossed my legs in front of my chest and continued speaking. "Well, I was speaking to Snape and he was going on about James and how I had sunk so low as to be one of Potter's slags and I just… snapped. And James heard all of it."

"Why is that a bad thing?" Sirius looked genuinely confused.

"He just hugged me. The stupid blighter just _hugged _me and now I can't face him. Because I just want _more, _you know? But I can't have it."

"Yes, you can!" Now he just looked downright frustrated with me.

"No. I can't. That's final."

"The two of you are so sodding confusing, I don't know why I even bother." He muttered to himself, and I think that deep down, he was wondering if maybe he should have followed Remus's advice after all.

I knew I could never tell James how I felt about him. The humiliation of it was frightening enough, so I decided to wallow in self pity and try to scare my feelings away. I was a masochist - that was the only possible conclusion.

However, I didn't have much more time to over-think the matter, because when we left the broom closet and I made for the bathroom, a third-year boy – I think his name was Angus – stopped me and told me that McGonagall wanted to see me in her office.

"I'll walk you," Sirius assured me.

"That's fine."

"I insist."

I nodded in agreement. "Alright, then."

The walk to our Head of House's office was a short and silent one, as we were both exhausted from our previous conversation. Once we reached our desired location, I told Sirius he could go, but he offered to stay and wait for me, and I didn't have it in me to refuse. Even if I'd never admit it, I still didn't feel exactly safe wondering about the castle all by myself.

"I'll be right back." I knocked on the wooden door and the Transfiguration Professor allowed me to come in.

"Good afternoon, Miss Evans." Her grey hair was pulled back in a tight bun as usual, but the ever composed Minerva McGonagall seemed to be tired and I dare say, even sad (or as emotive as the Gryffindor Head could appear).

"Is everything alright, Professor?"

"I'm afraid not. Actually, I think you might want to take a seat." I did as suggested and the woman in front of me resumed her speaking.

"I already arranged for you to go home this week, and I've already asked the Head Boy to take notes for you."

"I'm sorry, but what exactly would I be going home for?"

"I received a note from your mother this morning..." _Oh no, this can't be good. _"It seems your father passed away last night. I'm sorry, Miss Evans."

"Thank you, for letting me know." Tears threatened to fall down my face, but I was determined to not cry in front of the Deputy Headmistress. "You'd you mind if I-" I motioned towards the door.

"Of course. I hope to see you after supper." I nodded and just barely ran towards the door.

Sirius didn't even have the chance to speak before I launched myself into his arms and let out the tears I had been holding in.

"What happened?" He asked, stroking my hair.

"Dad... died," was all I managed to croak out.

* * *

I hardly remembered anything else that happened during the whole week. I mean, I remembered going home, and I knew I'd gone to the funeral but it appeared my brain wasn't actually processing anything.

Above sadness, grief and all other emotions, mostly I just felt numb. Marlene had sent me a letter telling me not to worry, that no one knew a thing, and that the only ones in the know were the Marauders, Alice and herself. I was happy about that; I didn't really feel like dealing with pointed looks from the rest of the Hogwarts student body.

Once I got out of the platform in front of the school, I found James waiting for me.

"I heard about your dad." He shook his head at me, and I found myself walking dangerously close towards him. My heart was racing, and I could tell his heart was too. "I'm so sorry." James appeared to be short of words, so he told me how much he cared and how much he wanted to help the only way he knew how; he kissed me.

It wasn't like any kiss I'd ever had before; this was messy, sloppy, even. It was all teeth and tongues and feelings and _God_, it felt so good, I never wanted it to end. I couldn't even think any more so I just pushed myself onto him - I drowned all of the sadness and pain I was feeling out in the sensation of it. All I could feel was James, and everything was James, his scent that was so teenage boy like and so warm that it just drew me in and all I wanted was to never leave his arms again.

I had to remind myself why James was even kissing me. It wasn't because he cared about me in that way, but because I was so hopeless without my dad, and I'd been there for him when it was his parents and now he wanted to be there for me and this was the only way he knew how to help.

My brain was going at a million miles an hour and I couldn't even form coherent sentences in my mind any longer. The tension and the passion was so strong that it reminded me of other strong feelings and I started crying. And even though all I was thinking was that I never wanted to stop, just as suddenly as it had started, feeling the wetness on my face, James pulled away.

"I shouldn't have done that."

* * *

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY! I AM SO BLEEDING SORRY! Please find it in your heart to forgive me? As always, please don't forget to review and tell me what you liked and what you hated. It really makes my day to hear what you guys think about this.**

**As usual, here is a sneak peek for next chapter!**

_In which everything gets both simpler and more complicated, and time has an awful habit of flying by quickly._

**Love,**

**Adriana**

**P.S.: YAY FOR OVER 50K WORDS!**


	18. Of James Potter and Second Term

**A/N: Hey guys! I know you are probably wanting to read the chapter, so I will let you go on without an enormous authors note if you promise to read the one in the end!**

**Okay, please proceed.**

**Disclaimer: In the twenty or so days that have passed, I have not become JKRowling and therefore Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

I was too shocked to answer. James grabbed my arm and basically dragged me back up to the castle. It was dark and people were expecting me, he said. I didn't question him.

The whole journey was painful. James kept muttering to himself and mussing up his hair and I was confused and hurt.

I understood why he had done what he had done, why he had kissed me. He wanted to take some of the pain away. Knowing the reason behind his actions hurt, especially because I _knew _it was the only reason. James had only kissed me because of what happened, not because he felt _that way_ about me. It was the definition of an ugly truth.

Ever since I got the news from McGonagall, I hadn't cried that much. Sure, every now and then I had shed a tear, but I hadn't cried myself to sleep.

Now, thinking about what had happened, I could feel my eyes dampen. Did it make me a bad daughter? Did it mean I was shallow? That I wouldn't cry about my own father's funeral, but would when a boy I liked told me kissing me was a mistake? Those thoughts haunted me for days on end. I couldn't sleep with the guilt.

Everywhere I went, people looked at me, commented on what had happened. I was taunted by the Slytherins, who claimed to be happy that another Muggle was dead. Professor Dumbledore advised me not to go to class for the time being, but I didn't want to miss any more content. I don't think my dad would have wanted me to put my future on hold. He always told me to feel things, but to move forward. That's what I was trying to do.

James kept me at arm's length. During prefect meetings, he always stood on the other side of the room. Every time I hung out with the Marauders, he was nowhere to be seen, and if I ever managed to get a hold of him, he always answered with short answers and never met my gaze.

My birthday was two days away, and I was going to have to spend it without James. Again.

I noticed James and Sirius were also at odds. I didn't know why, and even if I cared about both of them, at the moment I didn't have it in me to meddle between the two boys. Especially because I had a feeling they were rowing about me.

My sister had treated me as coldly as usual, but this time I think she was angry at me, angry that my magic couldn't fix Dad. I suppose it was my fault that I couldn't be there to help, or to say goodbye – after all, it had been my choice to come to Hogwarts. That's what she always told me, but Mum told me not to believe my sister, that she was just hurt. Bloody hell, I was hurt too!

I knew it wasn't my fault; I mean, Dad had always had heart problems, and he'd even had a stroke before. It was only natural that one day he wouldn't be able to pull through. I thought that because I was away from home most of the time, the news hadn't settled in properly yet. Maybe that was why I wasn't grieving like most people did.

I walked mindlessly through the corridors, taking some time to think. It was early, before seven in the morning, so not many students were up and about the castle. But as I walked through a tapestry, I heard voices.

"You're being an idiot."

"I'm not! You know I'm not."

The voices belonged to Sirius and James. They were sitting inside an empty Transfiguration classroom, and I – dumbly, I decided later – stopped to eavesdrop. I was sick of being shut out by everyone. I wanted to know what was going on, even if not directly.

"Prongs, you're my best friend. Usually, I'd be right by your side, supporting whatever mad thing you decided to do. But this is different. You're being an idiot, and you're doing it on purpose."

"It was a mistake. I shouldn't have let myself get so close again. She doesn't even… It's fourth year all over again."

"It's not. Pull your head out of your arse for a second, will you?" Sirius leaned against a desk. "You don't think she cares about you? Have you actually bothered to take a look at her? She barely eats, she is constantly tired…" Had I been doing that? I hadn't even noticed. Did everyone else notice it too?

"She just lost her dad, Sirius. Of course she would be like that."

"It's not about her dad! It's about you." Sirius closed his eyes and huffed out in frustration. "You know, she talked to me about this, yeah?"

"She did?" James sounded surprised; I couldn't even believe I was eavesdropping on their conversation. I should probably leave, but my feet didn't seem to comprehend, so I was stuck listening by the door.

"She did. Like, two months ago or something like that, just before you showed her that Animagus business, she told me she had the feeling you were going to ditch her again. I assured her you wouldn't do it."

"You know I never wanted to hurt her. It was just hurting _me _too much." Oh, that's rich.

"Go talk to her. Stop being an asshole. I swear, James, the two of you drive me up the wall sometimes. Shag it out already, yeah?"

Sirius stormed out of the empty classroom and looked me straight in the eye. Somehow, he didn't even seem surprised that I'd heard everything he and James had just talked about. Instead, he just laughed and muttered to himself. "Oh, this is going to be interesting…"

After Sirius, James followed, but as soon as he saw me outside that classroom, he stopped dead in his tracks and his face lost all colour.

"How much did you hear?"

"Everything…" I answered sheepishly. I was beginning to regret my decision to eavesdrop. "Look, I can just leave. I get the memo. You don't want me around." I made to leave when James caught my wrist.

"No, Sirius is right." He is? "It's about time I stopped being a prick."

"I'm listening."

"First of all, I just want to make it clear to you that I'm not going to stop talking to you. What I did in fourth year… was a stupid move and I'm not one to make that same mistake twice. Do you get that?" James looked at me with such intensity I couldn't help believing him.

"I get that. I still don't know why you did it, though. Not sure I want to…" It was true. Maybe it'd just further upset me.

"It's… It's best if you don't. Really. It wouldn't do any good." His words only strengthened my resolve, but I was still a little bit curious.

"Why did you kiss me?" I blurted out and then started to blush.

"Forget it happened. It shouldn't have. I was just being impulsive." _God James, you know right where to put the knife and you're not afraid to twist it. _Of course, I couldn't tell him any of that. He could never know how I felt about him. And, if for some miracle, my feelings were corresponded, it's not like I could ever act on them anyway.

Silence.

"I'm cross at you." I finally decided on something to say. It was a stupid thing to say, but I didn't like being quiet.

"Why are you cross at me?" I couldn't tell if he was concerned or amused.

"Why _wouldn't _I be cross at you?" That finally made me snap. All the resolve and control I'd tried to maintain was gone. "First you kiss me, and then you say it was a mistake, and _then _you proceed to ignore me for _two weeks_! How am I supposed to react to that? Is this some sort of game to you? You infuriate me!"

"Why do you even care?!"

"Because I do!" I screamed. "I care about you, you stupid prick!"

Realization flashed across James' features. Shit. I fucked up. I fucked up. My stupid mouth had a mind of its own and I didn't like it. "Oh."

"What?" I snapped at him. I didn't feeling like playing.

"You care." We were close, closer than we'd been for the past few weeks. I could sense his presence, even if I was desperately avoiding his gaze.

"Of course I care!" He started to lean down towards me to kiss me but, luckily, I managed to control myself and stop him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm trying to kiss you." James smirked.

"That much I'd gathered, thank you very much." When James acted like an insufferable prick, I couldn't help my snappish and sarcastic nature. "But I thought you said kissing me was a mistake."

"That was before I knew you cared about me… I thought you didn't…" He was smiling like a little kid in a candy shop and the sight warmed my heart.

"Go out with me, Evans," he added all of a sudden.

I remembered my resolve. I couldn't act on it. We couldn't be together. The Divination seminar made it impossible for me. I wished I'd never taken the stupid potion.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. We can't do this."

"Why the hell not? I like you, you like me... right?"

"Look…" I put some space between the two of us. "I'm going to tell you something, and it's going to sound idiotic, but I need you to understand it, okay?" James nodded.

"Do you remember that Divination seminar we went to?" James nodded once more. "Well, it ended with someone dead. And if I can change that fate, then that's what I'm going to try to do."

"Lily, that's a stupid reason…"

"Well, it isn't for me." I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Besides, I don't need a relationship right now. I just lost my dad; what I need is stability."

James placed his hands on top of my shoulders. He understood what I needed. That's why I liked him so much. James kissed my forehead. "Friends, then."

"Friends." I conceded. It felt good to have him back. His smirk and the mischievous glint in his eyes made me feel at home but also scared. In an exciting way.

* * *

When I woke up on my birthday, there was a flower on top of my desk. It was a pink rose and attached to it was a note. _"Happy birthday! Hogsmeade? – J"_

That stupid, conniving little git! He knew I couldn't date him! He said we could stay friends! I marched up to his dormitory and knocked on the door. "James Potter!"

"Yes?" He opened the door and smiled at me lopsidedly.

"What is this?" I shook the note in front of him.

"A birthday card." James smirked at me. He knew exactly what he was doing.

"I told you, we can't do this," I fumed.

"But you didn't say anything about trying to convince you otherwise." I felt stupid for landing myself in that situation. He _would_ twist my words into a little challenge. Stupid git.

"Well, it's still a no." I turned my back to him. "But I'm keeping the flower!" _Happy bloody birthday to me._

* * *

As I was walking towards the Great Hall for breakfast, I was suddenly knocked to the ground.

"Happy birthday, Lily!" Alice and Marlene shouted. We were still on the floor when the three of us burst out laughing.

"Thank you, guys." I smiled at them. I loved my friends.

The rest of the day passed in a similar manner. People congratulated me and I thanked everyone. Luckily, Severus didn't attempt to talk to me again. I also got a letter from my mother, wishing me a happy birthday. In the letter, she told me she couldn't wait for Easter, because I would be visiting and she missed me dearly. She assured me that even though Dad passed away, Sirius and James were still welcome during the holidays, as it would make the house seem less empty.

At the end of the day, my friends and I gathered around the fireplace in the Head Common Room and I opened my presents. Mostly I received sweets and books, which was fine by me. We never went all out on birthdays anyway – Christmas was when we always got more extravagant in our gift giving.

* * *

As the term went on, several interesting things happened. For one, Alice and Frank's wedding took place. They set it all up fairly quickly, and discussed it with Dumbledore so Marlene, the Marauders, some other friends and I could leave the castle for the weekend and celebrate the ceremony.

It was a beautiful wedding; the room was all decked in whites and blues and Frank's speech was very romantic. Alice looked stunning, with her white lace dress and new haircut, and me and Marlene's bridesmaids' dresses actually looked good on us – something that didn't happen very often with these types of outfits. It was nice to take a break from everything that was happening, but sadly we soon had to get back to school.

Seventh year was proving to be the hardest one so far, and all of us were drowning in work. There wasn't one single free period or weekend that I didn't spend holed up in the library. I couldn't wait for Easter; it would be so much fun.

The Hogwarts student body could always count on the Marauders to lighten up the mood though; in the short time span of two to three months, the Marauders played countless pranks – that were actually amusing, and not at all harmful.

I found it sweet, especially because they seemed to come up with the funniest things when we needed them the most. For example, just two short days after a huge Muggle killing, they started a water balloon fight near the lake; even Professor Flitwick and Hagrid joined in on the fun!

The defence group James and I had assembled met a couple more times and Dumbledore had decided to recruit a few of the Seventh Years – me, James, Marlene, Alice, Frank, the Marauders, and some other students – for an organization he was creating - the Order of the Phoenix.

The Order was an underground resistance to Voldemort that Dumbledore had created himself, and a lot of Aurors, such as Alastor Moody whom I admired very much, were also a part of it. However, he insisted that we only agreed to membership once we had graduated because he would not throw school students into the front lines of the war.

Eventually, the snow melted and the sun started to shine again. It wasn't hot by any means, just pleasant. It was nice not to need mittens and scarves every time we left the castle, whether it was for a stroll on the grounds, a visit to Hagrid's or an outing to Hogsmeade.

The trips to the village were always a blast, and even the teachers seemed happy about leaving the castle on occasion. One time, we'd all met with Sirius' cousin, Andromeda, who'd brought her baby daughter with her. Sirius and I both agreed Nymphadora was the ugliest name in England, but Marlene thought it had personality. James, Remus and Peter mocked Sirius endlessly, and it made me think that, even in the midst of a war, not everything was bad.

It was important that we focused on the good – like the fact that Gryffindor was on the first place for the House Cup, tightly followed by Ravenclaw who had beaten Slytherin sometime in the month of February – instead of the bad.

Every now and then, James would pull me into a secluded broom closet or an abandoned classroom and steal a few kisses. More often than not, I will admit, I actually snogged him back. His constant attempts at changing my mind made me happy, but also very confused. It was getting harder and harder to ignore my hormones and stay clear from a relationship with him. But it was for the best, I figured.

While all I wanted was to forget my worries and finally accept James' constant invitations to Hogsmeade, I knew I could never do it. I fancied James, I'd already admitted that to myself, to Sirius, to Remus and even _to_ James – and I had a sneaky suspicion that Marlene and Alice knew about it too – but did I like him enough to abandon everything else?

Besides, it was true - the Divination seminar was holding me back, but it wasn't the only thing; even if I thought it was for the best that I didn't know why James had broken off our friendship back in fourth year, it was still an issue between the two of us.

So many of my relationships had gone wrong – Petunia, Snape – and with my dad passing away, I wasn't ready to lose someone else. I cared so much for James that the thought of losing him _again_ made me sick to my stomach.

I still missed my dad, but my friends – especially James and Sirius, who'd also lost their paternal figures this year – helped me a lot take my mind off of things. Because I was so far away from home in such a difficult time of my life, Emmeline and I corresponded more than ever, so that I could keep up with everything that was going on in Cokeworth, my home town.

She'd dyed her hair again – it was now a crazy hot pink colour – and I'd discovered that she and Sarah actually broke up around my birthday. Emmeline – or Emma, as I liked to call her – assured me she wasn't terribly sad, and that it had been a mutual decision.

After all, Emma wanted to keep her options open while Sarah was looking for something more long term. Emmeline told me she'd started hanging out with this new girl at her university. Her name was Martje, if I remember correctly. I couldn't wait to go home and meet her.

I had also received a letter from Mum, telling me all about Petunia's engagement. It irked me just to think about it. True, my sister _was _a bitch, but I still thought Tuney could do a lot better than Vernon Dursley. I remembered laughing about 'Vermin' with James in the kitchens, and how everything was so simple back then – at least simpler than it was now.

Severus hadn't tried talking to me again, but I felt his gaze every time I entered the Potions classroom or the Great Hall. I still missed the boy from Spinner's End – I'd always miss him – but that boy didn't exist anymore. I didn't want to associate myself with the cold, calculating and cruel person that Snape had turned into.

Nevertheless, February had flown by quickly, and now it was time for a break. Everything was well and when the Easter break arrived, I was exhausted from all the school work and emotional trials I'd been facing.

On a sunny day in late-March, I found myself waiting for my mother with James and Sirius on Platform nine and three-quarters, ready for the holidays to begin.

* * *

**A/N: THANK YOU FOR READING! NOW, you promised to read this whole thing, so I will warn you, it might be quite lenghty. Still important though, so please pay attention.**

**First of all, I cannot believe all the support I have been receiving. Every follow, every favourite, every ask and review makes my day, and I'm not just saying that, it really does.**

**I would like to know your opinion on a few things.**

**1\. While I will not be writing smut, I was wondering if the amount of cuss words I sometimes use - or the violence, if it ever comes down to it - is enough for me to change this fic into an M rating. I know PG-13 movies can only have one f-bomb and I've used a fair share of them.**

**2\. What do you think of the plotting and the characterization?**

**3\. The jily. Too cheesy? Just right? **

**4\. What are you most excited about? What are your predictions?**

**5\. Have I improved at all since the beggining of this fic? I know I used to write a fairly bitchy Lily, but hopefully that isn't the case anymore. Please let me know.**

**6\. The next chapter. It is written and will be sent for beta-ing tomorrow. It will start in a different way than usual, and the tone will be different, since they will be in the Muggle World.**

**7\. Your reviews. While I really do aprecciate your reviews, because they are wonderful, please make sure what you are saying is relevant. I don't want just positive reviews, constructive criticism is also great! And I'm lucky that I haven't gotten many comments like this, but I had this one person saying she didn't like my characterization of James' mum at all. While this would be a fair comment, the truth is it makes no sense. Why? Because Dorea Potter has never even appeared on this fic.**

**8\. The one shots. Have any of you read them? What did you think?**

**9\. I think that was enough, yeah? I will let you have the teaser for next chapter.**

_In which we meet Emmeline Vance, may the force be with you and it's the holidays at last._

**Please don't forget to review!**

**Love you lots,**

**Adriana**


	19. Of Predictions and Heart-to-hearts

**A/N: **HEY GUYS! I'm back! Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback on the last chapter! We are almost at 100 reviews- WHAT?! THAT'S INSANE! Thank you guys so much for all your continued support! Thank you also to my wonderful beta, Charlotte, withouth who the next few chapters would not be, at all, possible.

Please read the author's note at the end? I won't bother you further now (^^)

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except for my laptop and my love for James.**

**QUICK NOTE!**

_Italics is Alice._

Underlined is Marlene.

* * *

1978 was a very intense year for many people.

For some it was a great year. For others, not so much.

Two got married. Eloped, almost.

One had a realization. More than once.

One finally completed his mission.

Another lost the one thing he'd always wanted to his enemy. But maybe it had been his all along.

One got to do what she had always wanted.

Some were working for a bigger cause.

One got tired of waiting and decided to move on with his life. Not that he was very successful.

One had no idea what to do once it all ended.

Another was so scared he betrayed everything he ever cared about.

Two shared a drink and a kiss. Several times.

One made a mistake.

One acquired an eternal hate for Muggle liquor and all that it brought.

Another finally admitted what went through her head.

One got a new haircut, due to said mistake. It was easy and quick to fix though.

A secret was revealed. But maybe it shouldn't have been.

One cut all ties with someone who used to mean a lot.

Some of them decided Easter was overrated, after all.

One suffered a paralyzing loss. Almost literally.

One gave up on trying to save his brother.

And a select few found light in the middle of the dark.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

* * *

It was the twenty-fourth of March when James, Sirius and I crossed the platform barrier to find my mum waiting for us in the parking lot.

Rose Evans was tall and her build was similar to Petunia's, but she wasn't as bony and did not possess the blonde hair her eldest daughter did. Instead, her hair cascaded in long locks of brown and her whole demeanour exuded an elegant warmth.

Since it was my first time meeting mum since the funeral, I hugged her with such force that I all but tackled her to the ground. The two Gryffindor boys stood, watching the scene in amusement.

"Mum!" I greeted her with joy. At last recalling the presence of guests, I collected myself and half-said, half-panted, "Uh, Mum, you've met Sirius." I gestured towards my friend who then proceeded to kiss Mum's hand.

After they broke apart – Mum was absolutely smitten with the young Black, as was every other female in the United Kingdom – I introduced the remaining young wizard.

"Mum, this is James Potter." James waved awkwardly, obviously wanting to leave the bold displays of affection to Sirius, but Mum was having none of it, as she swiftly embraced him in a hug.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, James. Lily told me you were Head Boy alongside her."

"He's also the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team," Sirius piped in. James blushed, an action which was all but unheard of when related to James Potter.

"Oh, that's lovely! I'm sure Chris would have loved to meet you." She sniffed a bit. "Sirius took him out to watch a game last summer. He wouldn't shut up about it for a whole week." Mum nodded at Sirius in gratitude.

"I can assure you I'd have loved meeting Lily's dad as well." James nodded.

The atmosphere was too solemn for my liking, so I decided to lift the mood by cracking a joke. My attempt to mesh both Muggle and Wizard humour into one – so that all parties involved would be humoured – turned out to fail spectacularly.

James chuckled anyway, leaving Sirius to smirk knowingly at the pair of us and Mum to give up on trying to understand the situation, opting instead for directing us towards the car.

Sirius, having spent a fair amount of time in Muggle London with me during the two previous summers, was well accustomed with the particular means of transportation.

James was terrified.

He'd caught Sirius's arm in a grip so tight that was only bested by rigor mortis and vowed to never set foot in such a death trap again.

When we arrived, I gave James a tour of the house, since Sirius was already familiar with it. My home wasn't very big, but it wasn't small either. It was a nice ordinary home in a nice ordinary neighbourhood.

It had two floors. On the first one there was the study, the living room, the kitchens and the bathroom; on the second floor there were the four bedrooms and another bathroom. When James and I returned to the kitchen, we found Sirius and mum giggling and gossiping like two chatty old ladies.

"James, dear, you'll take the guest bedroom and Sirius can take Petunia's old room." Mum smiled brightly at James which caused him to flash a lopsided grin at her. I could tell by the look Mum was giving him that she absolutely adored him, even though they had just met.

Suddenly, I remembered Mum's words. "Wait, what do you mean Petunia's _old _bedroom?" I was confused.

"Well, ever since she got engaged, she and Vernon moved in together. She didn't tell you?"

"Of course she didn't tell me, mother… Petunia wouldn't tell me if my hair was on fire…" Mum could never seem to understand that my sister and I really did not get along well. "She didn't even tell me about her engagement; I found that out from you!" Sirius and James had escaped to the front yard.

"I'll never understand why the two of you dislike each other so much." Mum shook her head at me and sighed. I felt the overwhelming need to defend myself.

"It's not like I haven't tried! She won't even answer any of my bloody letters."

"She's just not used to having her post delivered by owl, dear."

"You're actually defending her?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest. I loved my mum but sometimes she was so infuriating! When it came to Petunia and matters of the heart, it felt like Dad was the only one I could count on.

_Oh, how I wished he was there… _Feeling the tears prickling at my eyes, threatening to fall out, I fled out of the room and into the garden.

Sirius got up quickly to come to my aid but I heard James's hushed whispers. "I've got this one," he said. Sirius escaped back inside the house, closing the door shut behind him.

"Look, James, I appreciate your concern but Hogsmeade with you isn't exactly at the top of my priority list at the moment." My hurt made it easy for me to act snappish around James, to talk to him like I didn't even fancy him at all.

"I know, love," James assured me. "That's not what I have on my mind either." He stepped forward and when he hugged me, the tears I'd been trying to hold finally sprang free.

I clung tighter to James. The stream of tears felt wet against my skin and against James's soft Muggle t-shirt.

"I just… I miss him so much, James…" I sobbed.

"I know, love. I know." He stroked my hair and I whole-heartedly melted into his embrace. As much as I loved Sirius' comforting hugs, nothing could ever compare to how I felt in James's arms. I actually found myself glad that he had decided to step in and handle my emotional mess himself.

Lifting my head up and remembering the reason we'd started talking again, I asked James. "Does it ever go away?"

Nuzzling his nose into my hair, James answered truthfully. "It doesn't. But it fades."

He kissed my forehead and I was overwhelmed with the need to do something reckless. So I kissed him.

His lips were tender and felt soft against my own. Understanding my need for physical contact, James kissed me back. His kiss was rough but not too demanding. It was tingly, electrifying, _perfect._

Eventually our lips grew tired and my row with mum finally caught up with me.

"James, I'm so sorry to ditch you and Sirius on the first day but I-"

"It's alright - go take a nap. You haven't had a good night's sleep in days, you must be exhausted." It was true. Everytime I closed my eyes, all I saw was destruction and sadness and pain.

"How did you know?" I asked him curiously.

"I can hear you across the wing, pacing. You've been doing an awful lot of that lately," James joked. Then, in a more serious, calmer, quieter voice he continued. "I hate seeing you hurt like that."

I took one of his strong, calloused hands in my small, delicate ones. "I know."

Afterwards, simply for good measure, I added, scared that my answer would drive him away from me, "I'm sorry I keep saying no to you. Why do you still hang around anyway? I mean, aren't you tired of me yet?" Not wanting to face James, I fixed my gaze on the ground.

"Oh, Lily," He sighed. "I could never get tired of you. I don't mind waiting. You know I've never liked anything that didn't pose a challenge."

Because I simply couldn't help myself, I pressed the issue further. "Why?"

"No reason. Just because."

I felt a strong wave of affection towards the boy in front of me. "Thank you." I hugged him. "I've no idea what I'd do without you."

Even as I left for my bedroom I still felt the sweet, minty taste of James' lips on mine.

* * *

It was just after lunch when I finally woke up from my slumber. Mum had wanted to cook something but the boys didn't want to impose – even more than they already (_felt like_) they had – so they ended up ordering in.

"We saved you some, dear," Mum informed me. Looking closely at the tired expression she wore, I knew better than to take it as a simple sentence. It was a peace offering, an apology.

I walked over and hugged her and actually felt Mum tear up. "I'm sorry I don't understand you and Petunia."

"It's okay, Mum." I smiled at her. "Where are James and Sirius?" I asked.

"They just left, actually. Sirius told me he'd show James around." For good measure – and because it seemed to take everything not to – she added, "I like them. Yes, Sirius might be a bit… _flirtatious_," she giggled to herself. "but he's alright. I managed to chat a bit with James during lunch too. Oh, Lily," she gushed, "He's wonderful!"

_Yes, he is. _"I like them too, Mum."

As I strolled around the neighbourhood in order to find the two missing boys, I was tackled to the ground. Luckily, I ended up falling in a patch of grass, probably belonging to someone's lawn.

"You mad cow!" The warm voice of Emmeline Vance echoed soundly in my ears. She got off of me and helped me back up. "How come you're back and you haven't said anything?" I hugged her.

"Oh Emma, I've missed you so much!" We rocked back and forth, still holding each other in a tight embrace.

"I've missed you too. Tell me, how is Dumbledore?"

The pair of us skipped away, arms laced together, James and Sirius out of my mind entirely.

* * *

After an hour or so of catching up, I spotted the two boys, sitting in the swings by my house.

"Hullo, boys." I made my presence known.

"Hey." James stood up and looked at me; Sirius seemed more interested in Emma.

"Uh, Sirius." I acknowledged him. "You remember Emma."

"I sure do." He smirked at her.

"You must be James." Emmeline hugged the boy in question. "My name's Emma."

"Nice to meet you." He smiled at her.

_Why was he being so nice to her, so friendly? I thought he fancied me… Oh Lily, you're being pathetic,_ I mentally scolded myself. _James is a naturally charming person. He was just being nice and it wasn't my place to get jealous._

For some reason, I wasn't sure how to act around James. It wasn't fair of me to keep denying him a date, but not to complain when he robbed some kisses – and actually snog him _back _at times.

What was the difference between displays of affection and accepting an invitation to Butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks? Before I could dwell on it too much, however, James snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I'm telling you, Lily, your house has some of the weirdest things." Emma and I cocked our eyebrows.

"How so?" She asked him.

"Well, for starters, none of the pictures move." Sirius rolled his eyes at his best friend, who, when he realized his mistake, lifted his hand to cover his mouth.

"Shoot." A flustered James Potter was definitely a vision, I decided.

"It's okay - Emma knows about the Wizarding world," I assured James, who let out a breath in relief.

"I apologize for my friend," Sirius spoke. "He's quite clueless when it comes to Muggles." James punched him in the arm.

"Oi! I'm still here!"

"So what are you guys planning on doing tonight?" Emma asked us.

"I don't know. We left everything to the lady." Sirius chuckled, his dark, sleek hair falling into his eyes.

"Do you guys want to grab a bite and then watch a movie or something?" The brunette proposed.

Instantly, the two Gryffindor boys looked at me. "Sure, why not- and bring Martje, will you? I can't wait to meet her."

"Will do. Meet you here at six?"

We bid our goodbyes and returned home.

"Who's Martje?" James inquired and I was only happy to oblige.

"Emma's girlfriend."

"Damn it," I heard Sirius muttering. James and I burst out laughing. "Sod off…" James and I laughed some more.

"Mum?" I called. "What movies are they playing today? We're getting dinner and watching something later today." I informed her.

"I don't know, dear, but tomorrow Petunia and Vernon are coming over for lunch, so don't make other plans, okay?"

"Do we really have to?" I whined. I was not looking forward to spending a meal with Vernon.

"Hush, Lily…" Mum shushed me, and what other choice did I have but to do as I was told?

James, Sirius and I climbed up the stairs to my bedroom. It wasn't at all like my dormitory at Hogwarts. Since I was away at school for most of the year, my room hadn't changed very much since I was eleven years old.

The walls were painted a light blue colour, and there were little pink decals all over them. On the right of my four poster bed, there was a tiny bookshelf, overflowing with books that doubled as a nightstand.

It wasn't anything special, my room. The one thing I did like was the carpeted floor. The sun always set in my window, and at around five o'clock, the whole room was warmer and I loved lying down on the carpet, soaking in the sun.

Once we arrived, I found an owl waiting for me, Leeyana. I gave her a few treats and she hooted in joy. I quickly retrieved my letter and read all the way through it, James and Sirius both looking at me curiously.

_"__Hey, chummy! How are you? I know you just left today but we miss you already! ~_

No, we don't.

_Oh Marlene, stop being such a prat. She loves you, you know._

Lily knows how much she means to me. You don't have to put it in writing!

_I sure do, it's proof for the future. You know, so when you're old and wrinkly and Lily wants you to come over you can't give her some sad excuse. It's insurance._

Come on Alice, you're straying away from the point…

_Oh, right. Well, we just wanted to-_

\- remind you to use protection when you finally shag James. Okay that's it, bye."

I was both pissed off and amused, so while I started nearly shaking with laughter, I accidentally scorched the sheet of parchment.

"Must have been some letter," James noted. Oh, he had no clue. Sirius though, was a different story.

He looked at me with a glint in his eyes that made me wonder if he hadn't actually planned the whole thing. Meanwhile, he jumped on my bed, and I took a seat by James's side on the floor, leaning against a wall.

After we had hung out for a while, the two boys went off to their assigned bedrooms in order to get ready.

I put on a lavender pleated skirt that was about knee length and changed shirts. I didn't usually think too much about my outfits – since I usually wore a uniform anyways – but when I came home, I usually liked to look somewhat presentable.

We met Emma and Martje by the swings, at six, like we had planned. We then ate a simple supper of fish and chips and walked over to the movie theatre.

"What do you guys want to see?" Martje asked us, resting her head on Emmeline's shoulder.

Sirius and James didn't have that strong an opinion, but as soon as Emma and I saw the sign, we very nearly _shouted. "_Star Wars!" And so we bought the tickets and the five of us directed ourselves to room three, where they'd be playing the movie.

The lights dimmed and the screen started playing colourful images, full of light and swords – the lightsabers – and bad guys and fights.

I looked around. Martje and Emma were huddled together, talking in hushed whispers. Sirius, who was sat on the other side of James, paid full attention the movie playing.

I finally dared myself to look at James. He was leaning against the chair, his mouth wide open looking at the screen. I could see the movie's reflection on his eyes, and when I caught sight of his strong, tanned arm on the armrest of the seat, I was compelled to place my hand on his and give it a squeeze.

James squeezed right back.

I noticed he peeled his eyes away from the movie to look at me instead. It felt like he could stare right through me. I felt bare in front of him and I came to the conclusion that I didn't mind it at all. So, I leaned my head on James' shoulder and traced patterns on his calloused palm.

James turned his attention back to the movie and I quickly fell asleep, so quickly that I didn't notice the way Sirius glanced at us and then smiled.

* * *

It was gone 9pm by the time we had left the cinema and the moon shone in the sky. Emmeline and Martje bid their goodbyes and left. The boys and I walked home.

It was colder now, and I, foolishly, hadn't brought a jacket with me. All in all, I was freezing.

"I'd offer you my jacket, but I didn't bring one too." James smiled apologetically at me.

"It's okay. Thank you, though."

James put his arm round my shoulder. Warmth spread through my body. It reminded me of that one time in the Hogwarts kitchens, after that night in the Astronomy Tower.

Sirius lit a cigarette, lost in his own thoughts.

"Well, I'm exhausted," Sirius said. "Goodnight, Prongs. Lily." He kissed my forehead and left for his room. Mum was already asleep so we made sure to be as quiet as possible.

"I should probably go to sleep too," James finally said.

"You really should. Goodnight." I hugged him.

I returned to my room but couldn't fall asleep. There were two possible reasons - for starters, the nap I had taken when we arrived. Besides, it _was _difficult to sleep; it had been for a while now. I knew I'd only slept before lunch because I was positively exhausted.

Having not yet changed out of my clothes, I decided to just leave the house and go back to the swings.

I sat in the sandbox. That playground brought me so many memories. It reminded me of a simpler time when Dad was still around, Petunia didn't hate me and Severus was still a child.

Thinking about Severus didn't make me feel bitter anymore; it made me feel numb. I knew most of the Slytherins had come home for the holidays, but I was truly shocked when I saw Severus on the Hogwarts train. I didn't know why he'd want to spend more time than necessary at Spinner's End. Perhaps he had appointments with his new _friends._

I saw a shadow approaching. Severus. Wordlessly, he sat down by my side. I didn't acknowledge him in any way, shape or form.

"Lily."

"Snape."

"I noticed you've brought Black and Potter with you this time."

"Yes, Mum wanted to meet James." Before Severus could open up his mouth, I cut him off. "I am not having this conversation with you. You can sit here if you so please… it's a public park after all."

"Why do you hate me?" I could give him a number of reasons, but I chose not to. I wasn't feeling up for confrontation.

"Severus, I don't hate you." He lifted his head and stared at me dumbfounded. "I pity you. You made your choice. I made mine. But we are just too different now. I'm sorry - I just… I don't know you anymore." I sighed. "It would be best if you stopped talking to me, once and for all."

Every time Snape had confronted me, I had let my anger and my feelings take over my actions. I had always confronted him. I suspected seeing that he could still get a rise out of me, Snape hoped things could change. I didn't want to fight him anymore. I was tired. And I think he saw that too, because he stood up and left me alone in the cold, harsh night.

* * *

**A/N: Hello again! What did you think of this chapter?**

**I'll have you know this is the absolute largest one so far - OVER FOUR THOUSAND WORDS!. Did you like it?**

**As before, I have a few questions I'd like to ask you. Mainly, if you like my Muggle World/Emma Vance AND about the predictions at the beginning of the chapter. Some of them have already been revealed, some of them will be shortly and some of them throughout the rest of the story. Do you think you can guess them? Let me know what you think, pretty please? The first part of the epilogue will unveal everything! Stay tuned for that!**

**As promised, here is the teaser for the next chapter:**

_In Which there are a fair few arguments, some lasagna to die for and James Potter meets Vernon Dursley._

**Love you,**

**Adriana**


	20. Of Blowouts and Lunch

**A/N: Guys!** Hello! It is lovely to be back with a brand new chapter. I am pretty darn scared of this one, and I think the last scene was the first thing that I ever wrote on this fic, the one thought that inspired me to begin writing this at all. So, I am also pretty excited for all of you to finally read it!

I still can't believe that we have over a hundred reviews! And over sixty thousand words, too!

None of you commented on the little predictions at the beginning of the last chapter- do you have any guesses?

**Disclaimer: **Nothing belongs to me and the only profit being made is the flutter in my heart everytime i get a new review. ;)

Enjoy!

* * *

The sun was rising when I finally came home. I opened the door and made my best efforts to be silent, trying not to wake anyone up.

It turns out someone was already awake. James Potter was sat on the couch in the living room, his head in his hands, his fingers threaded through his hair. Beside him lay Sirius, who seemed to be asleep.

"Morning," I told him. I wasn't sure how to act around what looked like a sleep deprived Marauder.

Once James heard my voice, his head snapped up and he sighed in relief.

"Oh, thank Merlin - you're okay." He stood up and walked over to me. As I was putting down my bag, he engulfed me in a bone-crushing hug.

"Of course I'm fine, silly." I still indulged in the pleasure of hugging him back. I was on the tip of my toes so we were ear to ear, my neck resting on his shoulder.

James clung to me like his life depended on it. "You have no idea how scared I was," he told me. "I wake up in the middle of the night and walk over to your room to see if you've managed to fall asleep only to find an empty bed."

"I just went to the playground! I couldn't sleep," I admitted.

"You could have said something! I thought something had happened to you!" I crossed my hands over my chest. I looked defensive, but it was my body – and my mouth, apparently – that was acting of its own accord.

"I literally just sat in a sandbox for around four hours. What could possibly have happened?"

"You know very damn well what could have happen." James' nostrils flared with anger, but I knew he was just concerned. I felt touched.

"You don't have to worry about me. Really-" I tried reassuring him, but James just kept on talking.

"Of course I have to worry!" I was afraid he'd wake up the rest of the house but luckily both M um and Sirius can sleep through anything. "Even if you hadn't been _attacked _– with an Unforgivable, mind you – I'd always worry!" After that, James sighed and his features softened. "Don't do that again, yeah?"

"I won't… I think I'm going to take a shower. Wake him up for me, will you?" I said, motioning to Sirius.

"Nah, I'm the one who woke him up in the middle of the night. Besides, it's barely six am. Are you sure you don't want to get a little bit of sleep before meeting with your sister and her fiancée?"

"I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I wanted to." I sighed. "I'll be back."

I took a shower and changed into some more comfortable clothes, so it was easier to tidy up my room. I didn't bother taking things out of my trunk, since I would only be home for the weekend anyway, but I did want to pack some things to take back to Hogwarts with me. I had a feeling I wouldn't be coming back to this house soon after I graduated.

Once I went back downstairs, I found Sirius and James helping themselves to some breakfast – waffles, milk and eggs – and I decided to help Mum get started with lunch. Vernon Dursley was a difficult man to please, after all.

"I can't wait to spend some time with Petunia again, Evans." Sirius popped a biscuit into his mouth. "All that charm and royal bloody highness -"

"Now, Sirius, don't be mean." I smiled at him, chuckling to myself.

"Surely she can't be _that _bad, can she?" James asked. He'd obviously never met my sister.

"Oh, no." I sat on the chair in front of him. "She's a bitch."

"I know how sensitive you are about it, though." Sirius spoke. "So I'll try not to egg her on too much."

"I can't wait to meet Vernon," James told me. "You've talked so… _highly _of him. I mean, you even have an adorable nickname for him, for Merlin's sake! Vermin, was it?"

Sirius toppled over in laughter.

"You haven't given _me _a nickname." James pretended to pout.

"Oh James, love, I am sure we can take care of that." As the word 'love' fell out of my lips, James seemed to tense up. The whole atmosphere seemed heavier now, so, in true Gryffindor fashion, I returned to my room in order to change outfits.

It was around one o'clock when my sister and her fiancée finally arrived. The table was set with our most expensive china and mum's lasagne – which was brilliant, by the way- had _just _come out of the oven.

"Petunia! Vernon! It's so nice to see you," Mum exclaimed.

"It's nice to see you too, mother. Oh. _You're here." _She looked at me.

"Vernon!" I shook his hand. "How's the planning of the wedding going?" I didn't actually care, obviously, but I knew how to infuriate my sister. I made a mental note to go and wash my hands as soon as possible.

"Tuney," I smiled at her, "Allow me to introduce you to our guests. This is James Potter." They shook hands. "And of course, you know Sirius." Said boy kissed her hand and I could tell Petunia was trying very, _very _hard not to look disgusted.

She had never liked him. With his long, shiny hair and punk rock attitude, Petunia thought Sirius was even freakier than I was. That was saying something, of course.

"Lunch is ready!" Mum called. The six of us sat around the table and began to eat. Everyone – Sirius, James, even Vernon -praised mum on her cooking. Her lasagne really was delightful.

The silence was deafening. The whole conversation was strained, making for a very awkward meal. Mum tried to meddle and make my sister and I interact, but every sentence was forced and every polite smile was stiff.

"So James," Vernon said the name like it tasted bitter in his mouth, "I see that you go to school with Lily." Mum smiled at him appreciatively. It sure _looked _like Vernon was putting in an effort.

"Yes." He nodded politely. "So does Sirius."

At the mention of Hogwarts and that _bloody freak school _Petunia became visibly angered.

"Are you seeing anyone at the moment, Lily?" I couldn't believe my sister had gone there. I shot her my nastiest glare, but the sight only seemed to make her grin. Oh, I _loathed_ her. I just wished I could hex that smile off her face.

"No, I'm not." I felt James stiffen beside me. "Why do you ask, Tuney?" I tried pulling off the good sister façade. It didn't work well.

"Oh, you know, since I'm getting married and all that…" _She just had to rub it in, didn't she?_ "I just thought you might have wanted to bring a date, that's all."

Anger flared through my veins and James grabbed my thigh in an attempt to calm me down.

"She can still bring a date, you know," Sirius spoke. He obviously felt the heat radiating from me and thought it was time to interfere– all these polite questions and unsuspecting smiles were a blowout waiting to happen. The first time Sirius met Vernon, he thought the whole ordeal would be a good laugh. Now, he knew better.

"Yeah, I can bring James or Sirius." I smiled at the boys. "They're my friends."

Somehow, though, that seemed to be the wrong answer. James ran his hand through his hair, excused himself and walked straight out of the house, under the pretence of getting some fresh hair. I followed after him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," James answered curtly and sat down on the front step. He had crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"It's clearly not nothing." I walked over to him and placed my hand on top of his. When he flinched like I had burned him, I urged him on. "Something's obviously got _your_ knickers in a twist."

"Don't try me right now, Evans." James stood up, his back facing me. I could tell he was tense, if the balling of his fists was any indication.

"So it's back to Evans, is it, _Potter_?" I knew it was wrong of me to provoke him, but for some reason, the coldness of his voice made me feel hurt.

"No. You can't use my name as a punishment." I was prepared to snap back at him when he continued. "I'm sorry… Lily, just… Go inside, yeah?" James took a few deep breaths in order to calm himself down. He was obviously frustrated at something and I wanted to help.

"James?" I called once more. He spun around and looked at me dead in the eye.

"Is that all I am to you? A friend?" He quoted me.

"What? No!" I felt appalled at the accusation. Or maybe I was just still angry at my sister. I didn't know. All I knew was that every time I was around James Potter my whole brain went fuzzy.

"Merlin, Lily," James huffed in frustration. "Do you even like me?" The honesty behind his question baffled me. Until today, I hadn't thought that James didn't know how much I cared about him.

"Of course I like you." I shook my head at him.

"Then why won't you go out with me?"

"You _know_ why."

"It's about that stupid Divination seminar again, isn't it?" I closed my eyes painfully. It was. We'd discussed it before. I didn't exactly swear by Divination but it was a touchy subject and I preferred not to test the waters.

"Shouldn't this," he gestured towards the space between us, "…mean more to you than the words of that sodding woman?"

"Look, James…" He looked hopefully at me. "I am going to say something, and I need you to let me finish, alright?" James nodded silently.

"You know me, James. You do. You just, you know, _get me. _You know I'd never intentionally hurt someone. So, even if there is the tiniest of chances that something… something bad could happen from my actions, then you _know _I am going to try and avoid them."

"Well, that's a stupid excuse."

"But it's what I have decided. I can't date you." James pulled at his hair. "Why are you upset?" I didn't like the turn this conversation had taken.

"Why am I _upset?" _he nearly shouted.

"I meant, why are you _this _upset?" I liked James but it was better not to dwell on certain things. I was prepared to rant a bit more when James raised his hand to silence me.

"Because you're being a bloody chicken! You're just a big chicken and you're so _afraid_ of getting hurt, you're so scared of feeling something that you keep trying to think of dumb excuses to keep me away from you!" He shouted. "You're smart to the point where it's unbelievable but somehow you still don't get that **I'm **_**not**_** going anywhere**!"

I was too shocked to speak. After a moment of silence, James seemed to calm down and continued where he had left off.

"Where is that Gryffindor courage, huh? No, scratch that, I bloody well know why you won't go out with me…." he grumbled to himself. "Where is that Gryffindor _honour_? If you knew, right from the beginning, that you'd never date me, why did you let me kiss you? Why did you bring me over for Easter? Why did you-"

"I don't know! Okay? I don't know! I never know around you. I don't like it. I don't like not being in control. I wish I could be a more rational person, but _I'm not. _Not when it comes to this, not when it comes to you!"

"Is this fun to you? Do you enjoy it, gambling with my feelings like this?"

I wasn't gambling with his feelings. Was I?

"You did the same thing!" I was stuffing my foot into my mouth and I knew then that this would not end well.

"Come again?" That definitely seemed to confuse him.

"In the Astronomy Tower, back in November. You could have kissed me, but you didn't."

"You weren't ready. _I _wasn't ready."

"I would have let you," I finally admitted, both to the world and also myself. No one, though, was more shocked to hear that than James Potter, whose eyes were wide in astonishment. "I would have let you kiss me. It distracted me for weeks. I thought… I thought you were going to slip away again," I whispered.

"We're going in circles here!" he suddenly shouted. "You're trying to tell me to stay away, to convince me not to date you… How well do you think that's going to work out if you keep telling me how much you care, and that you would have let me kiss you _four fucking months ago? _I've been wasting my time! You drive me insane, Evans. But you're it for me." James threaded his fingers through his hair once more, making it even messier that before. Merlin, he was handsome. "You'll kiss me and tell me you care about me but you won't be my girlfriend." I wanted to defend my position a little longer but I saw in James' expression that it wasn't necessary; he'd gotten the memo.

He kicked a small stone and took a deep breath. Something strange flashed through his features, like he had resolved to do something he didn't really want to. "You're it for me, Lily, but I'm done. Thank your mum for me. She's been nothing but kind." James turned on his heel and left.

"What's going on?" Sirius opened up the wooden door. "Shit, it's freezing here –hey. Why are you crying?"

I hadn't even registered it. I wasn't sobbing or making noises, I just stood there, catatonic, letting the tears glide down my cheeks, a continuous stream of sadness and emptiness.

"I screwed up, Sirius…"

"What happened?" We sat against the wall, the breeze harsh against our bodies.

"James got tired of waiting. So he left." Sirius ran his fingers through his hair.

"Look," I turned to my best friend. "I'm going to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me." I nodded in agreement. "Is there something else, besides the seminar, something is making you back out. What is it?"

Once again, I fixed my gaze on the ground and Sirius _knew. _"You know I'd usually just jump into it, you know? I don't usually think when it comes to feelings; I'm impulsive, guided by my emotions. But I can't help but wonder… What if he hurts me again?"

"So that's what this is about. Do you think he'll be back soon?"

"No, Sirius, I mean he _left. _He'll probably just summon his things and apparate to Hogsmeade, if I'm being completely honest with you. He even asked me to thank Mum for her hospitality. I've pissed him off… and rightly so. He's left." I rambled.

"Shit."

"Shit indeed."

Mum opened the door and we stood up. "Is everything alright?" Sirius kept shifting his glance towards Mum, then to me, then to the front door, and finally to Mum in a vicious, repetitive cycle. Everything seemed to be going in circles these days; James was right.

"Yes, everything is fine." I replied stiffly and then looked at Sirius. "I understand if you have to go too," I whispered.

Sirius hugged me. "I hate to leave you here like this, but… I haven't spent Easter without Prongs for seven years. And now that Mum and Dad aren't here anymore, I just… I don't think I should leave him alone… Especially not when he is like this."

"Wait, Sirius!" He turned around. "Before you leave… Why did he stop talking to me in fourth year?" I blurted out. "I know you know. Please tell me. I can't live like this anymore. Even if it hurts me, I want to know. No, I _need _to know. So tell me."

At this, Sirius chuckled. "Oh, Lily. He did it for the reason everyone makes mistakes." I cocked my eyebrow in confusion. "He fell in love."

Sirius summoned his and James's things and apparated away. Then I remembered that Mum was still waiting at the door.

"What is going on, Lily?"

"They had to leave for Hogwarts. Don't worry about it - let's just go inside."

As Mum and I sat down at the table, Vernon tried to politely ignore the two empty places. Vernon was a pain the arse, but at least he was respectful to mum. He knew that if she told Petunia she didn't think Vernon was good enough, his fiancée would break off the engagement before you could say 'sorry'.

Petunia, however, was a different matter altogether. I loved my sister very much, but she was about as tactful as a cactus plant. "So, where did your friends run off to?"

"They had to leave-"

"Of course they did, sister dear. Who would want to spend time with a freak like you?"

I tried ignoring my sister. Petunia _was _a bitch. But I knew that deep down, she still cared, even if she'd never admit it.

She and Vernon shifted the conversation back to the engagement and I was only happy to listen. Of course, my brain wasn't actually processing any of the words. All I could think about was James's cold eyes once he resigned himself to a life without me in it.

I loved my mum's cooking, but I just wasn't hungry anymore. I didn't leave the table right away out of respect – since Petunia and Vernon would be spending Easter with his family, today we were having lunch in Surrey. Besides, it was the first holidays without Dad, and we were all trying to avoid the big elephant in the room.

Instead of eating, of tasting and savouring every bit of that wonderful lasagne, I just picked at the food on my plate with my fork. There were two more elephants in the room now. Two dark, Quidditch player sized elephants.

Eventually, I looked over to Mum and then upstairs. She nodded and so I excused myself and left to my room.

* * *

**A/N: *Ducks away from the objects being thrown about by angry readers***

**Please let me know what you thought in a review?**

**On a more important and sad note, this is the second to last chapter in Fate Works In A Funny Way. After this there will only be one more chapter AND an epilogue. But more information will be given on the following chapter! Here is its teaser:**

_In which Lily doesn't get out of her bed, Petunia isn't that bad and James Potter turns eighteen, at last._

**Exciting stuff, yeah? See you soon!**

**Love,**

**Adriana**


	21. Of the Fallout and Hope

**A/N: **Hey guys! I am so sorry this has taken me nearly a full month to post. But, as you may know** this is the last chapter **of Fate Works In A Funny Way - and the largest one too!** FIVE THOUSAND WORDS GUYS!**

I won't bore you further** IF you _promise _to read the author's note at the end **\- where a lot of important info will be, especially regarding the** epilogue and its publication date.**

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: No profit is being made and none of the world or characters belong to me.

* * *

I lay down in my bed, not moving an inch. I watched the clock tick over to four o'clock, then five, then six. Mum opened the door and asked for me to come down and have dinner. I faked being asleep, so I wouldn't have to answer. I couldn't bring myself to speak, let alone move, eat, have a proper conversation.

Everything in the past few hours came flooding back to me. How James had looked, what he'd _said… _'I'm done.' He really was finished with me. I'd broken him. Tears started falling and soon enough I was sobbing into my pillow. The hysteria lasted for a while.

I wish I could say I had cried myself to sleep, but even that didn't happen. I had watched the sunset, but even though it was dark outside and I was tired – and God, was I _tired, _my exhaustion surpassed the physical aspect of the thing; I was mentally and emotionally drained_ – _I couldn't bring myself to actually fall asleep. Suddenly it was after midnight, Easter had arrived and I felt nothing.

I'd cried all my feelings away and now I felt empty inside. It was almost funny – mockingly, so; I had worried so much about getting hurt, about being abandoned again, and look at what had happened.

It was karma... simple, pure, dreadful karma. It had to be. Why else would I be like this, miserable on my bed?

I wish I could say I was strong enough to stop wallowing in self-pity and try to fix the situation. Such wasn't the case, however. I genuinely believed it was over. Heck, it had been over before it even started.

It was no wonder James had gotten tired of being played with. I couldn't get a single soul to stay. Petunia had Vernon and Severus had Voldemort and I had no one. I was blowing things out of proportion, I was aware of it, but how else was I supposed to feel, when it seemed that a part of my soul had been ripped out of my chest?

The clock ticked two in the morning. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Lily!" Mum screeched. "I let you stay up here all afternoon yesterday. Now you are to come down for breakfast!" I didn't reply and surprisingly enough, Mum didn't bother me again. Or so I had thought. Really, I should have known better.

After twenty or so minutes, someone opened my bedroom door.

"What is it now?"

It was Petunia. What was she doing here? As if she had read my thoughts, my sister spoke. "Mum called, said I ought to be here. And, I swear, if I miss lunch at the Dursle– oh." She finally took in my appearance. "Dear God, Lily, what happened?" She sat in the bed next to me but I couldn't speak. My throat ached from all the crying I had done for the past few hours.

I wasn't surprised that Petunia seemed downright scared once she looked at me. I must really be a sight to sore eyes. My eyes were red and puffy and my cheeks were tear stained and smeared with mascara. My hair was dishevelled – and not in the attractive manner that reminded me of Ja- I couldn't think about him. _Wouldn't _think about him.

"What happened?" Petunia repeated. "Is it about those two boys that came around for lunch yesterday?" I wanted to say something, to nod even, but instead, at the mention of James and Sirius I just began to sob. Petunia took it as a confirmation.

"I don't understand what happened. Surely, they just had to leave for school…" Petunia looked apprehensively at me and gave my shoulder two awkward pats. Suddenly, I couldn't keep the words in.

"I mucked it up... I ruined _everything. _

"I don't understand." And just like that, everything that had happened since James and I nearly kissed on that blasted night in the Astronomy tower, came tumbling out of my mouth.

"Dear God, here I was thinking someone had died... but it's just teenager drama. He must be some boy to get you this miserable."

"You know the worst thing?" I continued. "The stupid blighter is actually worth it!"

"How should I know?"

"Well, obviously, the two of you aren't really acquainted… You've only had lunch with him once, and besides, he is a _freak..._" Petunia chose to ignore the jab, so I continued.

"It's true, James used to be an immature prat, but he grew out of it... he really did. I mean, both his parents _died _at the beginning of the school year, and save for a few less than stellar moments, he's always been so… _good, _you know?

"Sure, he's impatient and impulsive, but he's also extremely loyal and downright fun to be around. And yes, he is somewhat cocky, but he's not arrogant, at least not anymore. And he's one of the smartest people I know and I think, most importantly… For someone with eyesight as bad as his, he sees people for who they are. Good or bad. He does the same with me. He just knows me... you know, Tuney? And of course, he's stubborn to a fault but he is hard working and dedicated to what he loves, especially his friends.

"I just… it kills me to see him hurt, especially when I know it was I who hurt him. If he'd just stayed away, then this could all have been avoided. But James is charismatic, you see, and he draws people in, and after losing him in fourth year… Well, I was too weak to give him up. You know how selfish I am."

"You're in love with him." Petunia said, matter of factly.

"Don't be stupid, we're just friends." My voice cracked as I muttered that blasted word.

"Oh, Lily... You look at each other a little too long to be just friends."

_Crap._

"I _am _in love with James." It was no use getting my hopes up. After all, I'd driven him away. "It's pointless, though."

"How come?"

"He's done with me. He said it himself."

"For goodness' sake, Lily... you _are _dumb."

"Gee, thanks, sis."

"Oh, shut up. The way James looks at you? He'll never be _done. _Honestly, the only thing more obvious than your feelings for James are his feelings for you."

* * *

Petunia left shortly after my realization and I decided to finally come down and spend some time with Mum. It was Easter, after all, even if I didn't feel much like celebrating.

Nevertheless, time had passed. It was now nearly time for supper and I had just apparated to Hogsmeade.

I crossed the Great Hall and climbed the stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room. I wasn't likely to find the Marauders there, as they were probably taking advantage of the Head Girl-less Head Common Room.

Who I wanted to find – and was probable to, as well – were Alice Longbottom and Marlene Mckinnon, my two best girlfriends in the whole world.

"Hey." I knocked on the Seventh Year dormitory. "Hello, Dorcas."

"Hi, Lily. Were your holidays good?"

"They were fine. How were yours?"

"Fine. Marlene and Alice aren't here. I think they are already headed to the Great Hall."

"Thank you so much."

How could I have forgotten about it? No wonder they Common Room was Marauder-less. They weren't hanging in the Head Wing; they were in the Great Hall waiting for supper! I was going to have to face them and I wasn't really looking forward to that, especially when it came to facing James.

Once I arrived, the place was nearly full. I sat by Alice who greeted me enthusiastically, and for a fleeting second I actually forgot about the past twenty-four hours.

Then, because all that is good never lasts long enough, I caught sight of him. The Marauders weren't as lively as usual, but the one person who looked downright miserable was James. He was picking at his food, which wasn't characteristic of him in the slightest and then… James lifted his head the smallest fraction enough for him to look me in the eye.

"I'm not hungry anymore." For the second time in the past two days, James took off before ending his meal, leaving me behind.

I wanted to go after him, explain everything, but Sirius advised me not to do it, at least for the time being, and I couldn't help but agree. After all, things were done between the two of us and besides, I didn't want to put James through any more pain than I already had.

Marlene and Alice, who had no idea what had happened looked worried, but I promised to explain everything later.

"Later, my arse. You are coming with me right now." So, the three of us left for my dormitory. Luckily enough, James wasn't in his room. When I opened the wooden door, however… Pardon the cliché, all hell broke loose.

I noticed a specific piece of jewlery sitting on top of my desk. It was a little watch, with a white ring around the pointers. Of course, at the moment, the ring wasn't white, at all. It was dangerously red, which only meant one thing. James was furious.

"Lily!" Marlene shook my figure, who had gone limp at the sight of the watch. I didn't answer her then, and I didn't answer Alice when she asked me what had happened, more quietly.

I looked down at my wrist. There sat the little stag bracelet James had given me for Christmas. Had it been there the whole time? How come I hadn't noticed it? I knew what I had to do. There was still hope.

"Ladies!" They calmed down at once. "I will tell you everything that has happened, but not right now. The only thing you need to know is that... I am in love with James. And _yes,_" I continued before any of them could protest,_ "_I plan on doing something about it."

I lay down on my four poster and the other two followed suit. "Okay... I am tired and I want to take my mind off of things, so please, tell me – what have you been up to?"

* * *

It was the twenty-seventh of march, and it was the first day of third term. More importantly than that, was the fact that today was James Potter's birthday – who, for the sheer irony of it all – did not feel like celebrating in the slightest.

I was on my way to the Potions classroom – after all, it _was _a Monday morning. I had actually put some effort into looking slightly presentable, a big improvement from the last two days, because I, Lily Evans, was a different woman. I wasn't moping or wallowing; I had a mission. And that mission was to get James Potter back.

I spotted him near a suit of armour and decided to call out to him. After all, it wouldn't hurt to try, would it? "James!" I hollered. The sound of my voice caused James to stiffen. He hesitated for a second and then resumed his walk, his strides quicker.

"Lily!" Peter squeaked, distracting me only long enough that it allowed for James to slip away.

"Peter." I said curtly, trying not to be rude. "What can I help you with?" I never said my mission was going to be an easy one.

"I was wondering if we could talk."

"About anything in particular?"

"Not really. I mean, yes, it is. I'm sorry." He apologized quickly.

"What is it? Is everything alright?" I asked. Even if my mind was somewhere else, I would hate it if something terrible had happened. It was about time things started to be good again.

"I don't know what exactly is going on between you and James and I'm _not_ asking you to tell me." Thank, Merlin. After staying up late with Marlene and Alice last night, I wasn't feeling like going through the whole thing all over again.

"The thing is, James has done nothing but mope since he and Sirius got back. It's quite sickening, actually."

"Oh." I didn't know what to say. It was like I had used up my whole vocabulary in that Transfiguration essay.

"He'd been so happy that you two were on good terms this year. I know he's fucked up royally in the past, but please don't hold it against him." Peter pleaded on the behalf of his friend. His beady eyes showed genuine concern and I felt compelled to help.

"What are you asking me to do?" I was confused, but somehow Peter's words made me feel ashamed.

"Can you fix it? Can you fix James?"

"I_ am trying to, _Peter. I really am." I assured him. Tried to, at least.

"Lily, I don't think you understand. We _need _James. Besides all that Animagus business and whatnot..." he whispered, "...you have no idea how much he's done for all three of us.

"We - Moony, Padfoot and I, that is - we don't work without him. So… I'm just really hoping that you know just how much you actually mean to him, okay?" He gave me a small smile, gently squeezing my shoulder, and then entered the classroom.

* * *

I hung around with Marlene and Alice in a secluded corner of the Common Room. James Potter's birthday party was in full swing but strangely, the Marauders were nowhere to be seen. There was a little table near the back of the room with all the beverages atop it – pumpkin juice, Butterbeer and some alcohol. I wish I could say I cared, but frankly, I didn't.

A little later on in the evening, the younger kids were sent to bed and the liquor-drinking finally escalated. Marlene eyed me, concerned, and Alice tried to keep the alcohol away from me but it was just so damn _good_. Addictive, really. The first glass I had didn't taste very nice, to be honest, but the more I drank, the more I started to like it.

The music in the common room was so loud and there were so many people talking that I could barely hear myself think. All I knew is how good I felt. I felt powerful, like I could do anything. I should definitely drink more often.

I looked around the place but the motion made me dizzy. You could say I went a little overboard with the Firewhisky but I wanted to think of it as liquid courage. Besides, after all the cat and mouse games James and I had been playing, courage for the imminent confrontation was definitely necessary.

I took another swig from my bottled liquor and it warmed my insides. Where was James? I wanted to talk to James. I finally spotted him near the stairs and walked over to him, but Iwas stopped by Sirius Black.

"I think you've had a bit too much to drink." He smirked involuntarily, but his eyes betrayed concern.

"And you haven't had enough!" I offered him some of my Firewhisky but he declined.

"No, thanks. Let's get you to bed."

"No! I wanna speak with James!" I tried to wriggle out of his grip.

"I don't think that's a very wise idea." His eyes twinkled in amusement. For some reason, I found it extremely funny and started to laugh. When I laid my eyes on James again, resolve flashed across my features. Recognising a lost cause, Sirius let me go and I wobbled over to his best mate.

"Hey!" I screamed in his face.

"You're _drunk._" James told me plainly. "So am I." He cracked a smile and then took a swig of the Firewhisky bottle.

However, because my foot lived in my mouth, I couldn't help but blurt out, "Why have you been running from me?"

I was hurt. I knew the reason, obviously, but in my current state of intoxication, James's feelings weren't exactly at the top of my priority list. There was something I needed to do and damn it, I was going to do it.

Maybe due to his and my intoxication combined, neither of us really cared about arguing at the moment. So, when I asked him if we could go somewhere more quiet, he didn't even bat an eyelid and directed me to the Seventh Year Boys' dormitory.

I am afraid to say that I very nearly jumped him. His lips were hesitant but the alchohol kicked in and suddenly he was kissing me back.

The kiss… Merlin, it was different from anything I'd ever had before. It didn't have that need for human contact behind it, it was just one hundred percent, pure want. His lips were hot and smooth and tasted like Firewhisky. They took me back to all of those dangerous snogging sessions inside empty classrooms when no one was looking.

We were kissing like crazy. It was wet and sloppy and oh so wonderful. His tongue slid inside my mouth and I melted into him. My hands gripped his hair and I pulled him closer. James pushed me against the wall and his hands cupped my cheeks, holding them in place. I hooked one leg around him and he pulled me closer, leaving a small trail of kisses on my collarbone.

I pulled his lips onto mine again and suddenly we were lying on someone else's bed and he was on top of me and all I could see was James and all I could feel were his lips moving purposefully against my own. James's hand held my hips in place and I felt like I was on fire.

It was hot inside the room and at some point James had lost his shirt and all I wanted was to feel him closer. Every new inch of skin was a treasure and I wanted more, more, _more. _Needing to feel in control, I flipped us over – which was hard enough since James was one hefty teenager – when the boy in question knocked his head on the four poster and winced.

It was like the pain snapped him out of his drunkness and suddenly he could see clearly again.

"What the fuck are we doing?" He looked around and started buttoning up his shirt and left in a flash, slamming the door in the process.

* * *

I was exhausted when I got to the Head Wing and found James's door closed firmly shut. Not wanting to miss any opportunity, I decided to camp out in the Common Room in order to ambush him the next morning.

I ended up falling asleep around three a.m, I think, but luckily I was a very light sleeper. When James came down early the next morning – in order to escape me, that was for sure – I woke up and groggily stumbled to where he was standing.

Ready for the occasion, I quickly downed a Hangover Potion and offered one to James who, although reluctantly, accepted.

"You're in love with me." I managed to blurt out. _Merlin, Lily, could you be any more dense?_

"Yes." James looked a bit taken back my statement but didn't try to deny it. "I'm in love with you."

"I know. Sirius told me." I said quietly. This whole _talking about your feelings_ situation was hard.

"_Sirius_ can't keep his mouth shut." He muttered to himself.

"He can, too. He's known I fancied you for months."

"Lily, leave me alone." And he said it with such finality that not even Dumbledore himself would have questioned it.

"Wait. I need to say something. And I understand if you don't want to listen, but please do."

"...I miss you. God, I've missed you. I miss your stupid jokes and your stubborn temper and I miss your tanned skin and your sad excuse for a haircut and I just _miss you_. I've missed you so much. It's driving me insane, I swear. I know I fucked up. But when you left you took a part of me with you and…"

"What are you trying to say?" James interrupted me. He was tense. His whole posture was defensive, and he was right to feel wary. "I don't understand..."

"What I'm trying to say here is... that I love you, James. I've been in love with you for the past four months." _Merlin_, it felt good getting it out of my chest.

James decided to say a few words of his own.

"You're barking mad. And you drive me out of my mind! Sometimes you seem downright daft. You can't just... kiss me and expect things to be alright." I prepared to protest when James firmly resumed his speech.

"It baffles me how you'll cling onto anything you love, even if it hurts you beyond repair. The thing is, Lily, I'm a masochist like that too, I suppose..." I walked closer to him. "But sometimes love is not enough."

"It could be. If you want me half as much as I want you, it could be enough."

"You said it yourself. You don't think I am worth the risk." James wore his heart on his sleeve. I hadn't realized until now just how much I had actually hurt him. Of course I knew I affected the bloke, but until now… Until now I thought it was just wounded pride or something like that. But I'd broken his heart. I wanted to fix it.

"That was before. _I love you_. I can't get tired of saying it, because I do. Love you. And right now, for me, it's enough. We can deal with the rest when we get to it. And Divination seminar or not, I can't stand being away from you. So I'd like to be your girlfriend, if you'll have me. And if you won't… I'll ask you out every day for the next six and a half years if I have to."

"You hurt me… You - you broke my heart! You're selfish and infuriating. You know there is no way in hell that I would be able to say no to you. I shouldn't trust you again, you know. And yet…" I stood on my tiptoes, pulled his face down to mine and kissed him, effectively shutting him up.

After a brief moment, James opened his lips the tiniest of millimitres and kissed me back. I moved my lips against his own, making up for lost time. I threaded my fingers through his unruly hair and our kiss became less frenzied over time.

"Say it again." He demanded. "Tell me you love me."

"James…" I gently bit his earlobe. "I love you."

James picked me up and I squeezed the air out of him. "I love you." I pecked him on the lips. "I love you, I love you."

"I knew you'd come around." He buried his head in my hair and very quietly, said, "Mmm, I love you."

"I love you, too. Sorry I didn't get you a birthday present."

"Are you joking? I have you. I don't need anything else."

* * *

We walked to the Great Hall hand in hand, and when we crossed the doors, heads literally turned. However, since it was so early, not many people had come down to breakfast yet. I sat down at the Gryffindor table and took in everyone's reaction.

Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling behind his half-moon shaped glasses and I swear I saw MgGonagall's lips turn up a bit. Severus sneered at the pair of us – I quickly diverted my gaze away.

Peter, Alice and Frank smiled warmly at James and I. Remus was the first to congratulate us. Marlene arrived shortly after and was positively beaming but Sirius remained mysteriously absent.

When after around half an hour he finally stepped inside the Great Hall, Sirius walked over to us, clapped James on the back and muttered, "Fucking finally."

* * *

Being with James was… brilliant, to say the least. Walking through the corridors and weaving between the crowds suddenly felt so much safer because his hand was there to guide me through it.

It was warmer already – it being the end of April and all that – and it was the perfect weather for Quidditch. Which was great, since today was the big final. Gryffindor was finally facing Ravenclaw, and the winner would win the Quidditch Cup. Gryffindor had an advantage though; thanks to their trouncing of Hufflepuff the previous term, to get the cup we only had to beat Ravenclaw by a mere twenty points!

I climbed the wooden, fragile stairs to the Quidditch stands to meet my friends; the game began shortly after.

As usual, Hestia Jones was the comentator. "Hello, ladies and gents, it's the Quidditch Cup Final! I can't say I am not rooting for a loss of the Gryffindor Team – _sorry, _Professor." She smirked at the Gryffindor Head of House.

"All right, here come the teams! Firstly and obviously vastly more superior, Ravenclaw! Belby, Cooper, Cram – fantastic snogger, by the way – Bell, Smith, Davies and the Captain David Martin!

"Then Gryffindor! Now dating none other than Lily Evans-"

"**Focus on the match, Jones!**" McGonagall's voice boomed across the pitch. I blushed at Hestia's words. We had been dating for about a month now, but I still blushed at the very mention of my boyfriend. A giddy feeling sat at the pit of my stomach.

"Captain and Chaser James Potter, Hale, McKinnon, Prewett, Longbottom, Black and Meadowes!

"Hooch launches the Quaffle and the game begins! Possession to Ravenclaw but Potter quickly snatches the Quaffle and heads towards the hoops!"

I called Jordan and placed a bet of three galleons on Gryffindor. There was no way in hell we were going to lose this match. After losing the House Cup to both Slytherin and Hufflepuff the last two years, us Seventh Year Gryffindors wanted to leave Hogwarts victorious.

Although this was shaping up to be one of the most exciting Quidditch games I'd seen in a while! Both teams kept scoring and blocking shots the whole game and the Snitch was nowhere to be seen!

It seemed as if the whole Gryffindor team was affected by James's great mood. The players weaved seamlessly through the Ravenclaw players, and even though Marlene was a bit worried about playing against Lucas, the matter was settled when Frank aimed a bludger at the Ravenclaw keeper.

Even though the Ravenclaw team was on fire – both were great, really – I still had to admit that James was, by far the superior player on the field. And I wasn't saying that just because he was my boyfriend; he was really just that talented. I knew for certain that if there wasn't the threat of Dark wizards over us, he would go pro, and had the potential to do so, as well.

Gryffindor was losing 160 to Ravenclaw's 190 but soon enough, both seekers spotted the Golden Snitch.

"Come on Dorcas, come on…!" I cheered her on along with the rest of my house.

The seekers were neck to neck with each other. Martin was stronger and larger, but Dorcas was quicker and had longer arms. Both had the exact same chances, when suddenly, appearing out of nowhere, a bludger nearly knocked David off his broom.

"Meadowes has caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins the cup!" Hestia's voice was a mix of fatigue, disappointment but also emotion and excitement. It was, after all, Quidditch. Being bored during a match simply wasn't possible.

Hooch delivered the cup to the Gryffindor captain, who then proceeded to be lifted up in the air by his team mates. James raised the Quidditch Cup in air and nearly the whole pitch was cheering.

All of a sudden, Gryffindors everywhere started climbing down the stairs and running onto the pitch. My eyes sought a head of unruly black hair and hazel eyes. There he was. Surrounded by admirers, but as soon as James noticed me, I couldn't see anyone else.

Somehow my feet found their way to James and I promptly cupped his cheeks and brought his face down for a kiss. It felt good to be home.

* * *

**A/N: **

I really really really hope you liked this. The epilogue will be posted with no author's note whatsoever, so everything I have to say will be said right here, right now.

**First of all - information regarding the epilogue itself. It will be posted on October 31st - yes, I know, I'm evil - and it's title will be "Of the End."**

Secondly, I'd like to thank my beta, Charlotte (weasleypumpkin / reigulus on tumblr) for the tremendous help and support. Without you I would not have been able _at all _to make something so dear to my heart.

I'd also really like to thank all of you - if you have ever left a favourite, a follow or a review, thanks. You are the best. Every single interaction between you and this fic has inspired me to continue writing. Special thanks to **Kekejo99, fawkes04, j-jip, lilieswho, oracle987, Lizor, cokeerr, mylongbottoms and every other person **who repeatedly left reviews and their words of encouragement. Thank you so, _so much._

Thirdly, I'd really, really like it if you would come over and talk to me on my tumblr! **I am at gxldentrio. **

I am also not going to stop writing! I have written plenty of one shots and drabbles, if you want to check those out, and I am currently working on a new Marauders Era/Jily fanfiction. I don't know when I am going to post the first chapter, but I am working on it! So maybe favourite me as an author to receive updates on that?

I hope you have enjoyed this - and of course, that you enjoy the epligue come Halloween.

**Please don't forget to leave a review! I'd love love LOVE to hear all about your thoughts!**

**I will see you on the 31st of October with the epilogue - the ending made me cry, not gonna lie.**

Thank you so much once more!

Love,

Adriana


	22. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_or_

**Of the end**

1978 was a very intense year for many people.

For some it was a great year. For others, not so much.

Alice and Frank Longbottom got married. Eloped, almost.

I had a realization about James Potter. More than once.

Sirius Black finally completed his mission.

Severus Snape lost the one thing he'd always wanted to his enemy. But maybe it had been his all along.

Marlene McKinnon got to do what she had always wanted.

The Order of the Phoenix was working for a bigger cause.

James Potter got tired of waiting and decided to move on with his life. Not that he was very successful.

Remus Lupin had no idea what to do once he left Hogwarts.

Peter Pettigrew was so scared that he betrayed everything he ever cared about.

James and I shared a drink... and a kiss. Several times.

Lucas Bell made a mistake.

James Potter acquired an eternal hate for Muggle liquor and all that it brought.

I finally admitted what had been going through my head for years.

Lucas Bell got a new haircut, due to said mistake. It was easy and quick to fix though.

A secret was revealed. It turns out, it changed everything.

I cut all ties with Severus Snape once and for all, leaving no room for doubt.

Padfoot and Prongs decided Easter was overrated, after all.

The Evans household suffered a paralysing loss. Almost literally.

Sirius Black gave up on trying to save his brother, Regulus.

And a select few found light in the middle of the dark.

And now I will tell you what lies ahead.

* * *

It was the last day of seventh year. July had arrived hot and quickly, and suddenly we were in the Great Hall, waiting for our last end-of-year feast.

I didn't want to leave Hogwarts. I wasn't ready.

It wasn't just a matter of nostalgia. Just… the thought of leaving home was too difficult to bear. Hogwarts was my home. And now I had to leave, I had to go _out there_ in the middle of a war and I was scared. I was so, so scared.

I'd spent a fair amount of time packing, trying to delay the inevitable. Still, a mere few hours later here we were, the last night inside the castle. It was a strange affair to say the least. Everything was the same, but also different.

Dumbledore gave his usual speech, with his half-moon shaped glasses sitting on the bridge of his long nose. His blue eyes were twinkling, in their ever present state of amusement. Dumbledore's robes were purple, like they were more often than not, and the House Elves had cooked a delicious meal, like they always did.

I cherished every part of it, fully knowing it would be the last. There was nothing like Hogwarts. The flags shone scarlet and gold, and the cup was awarded to Gryffindor. The Great Hall erupted like a volcano, and after some very much deserved celebrating, the headmaster raised his hand and finally concluded his speech. "…Hogwarts will always be here to welcome you home."

It was late at night. It was cold, and the November air was harsh against our fragile bodies. The war was getting harder to battle each day, and the evil forces were gathering enormous strength.

* * *

The two of us were lying on the bed. It was dark outside, so I could only see the contours of James's face. He took my hand and threaded his fingers through mine. He'd just got back from a mission for the Order along with Sirius and Peter. I'd been worried sick. I hated this, I hated this situation. I mean, we were just kids! Kids forced into a war we weren't really qualified to be fighting.

"I wish it could be like this all the time." I admitted. "No war, no nothing, just you and me."

"I love you." James told me.

"I love you too."

We lay there in silence for a couple of minutes, when James, who had appeared to be lost in thought, finally broke the void.

"Lils?"

"Yeah?"

"Marry me." James said, no louder than a whisper. "Marry me. I want you. I've always wanted you. Marry me, Lily."

"We're only eighteen, James. We haven't even dated for a full year." It was tempting, I'll give you that. In the middle of so much heartbreak and pain and suffering, it wasn't mad of us to cling to our only source of happiness, was it?

"As long as I have you, I don't need anything else."

"Me neither." My lips formed a smile.

* * *

"Evans." Sirius winked at me.

"I need to talk to you." I told him.

"Oh?" Sirius inquired, placing his glass of water on a nearby table.

"It's about me and James."

"Shit." He swore. "You're not…?" He gestured to my stomach, with energetic hands and wide eyes.

"No! I'm not pregnant." I flashed him a smile. "I'm engaged, actually."

Sirius scooped me up in a hug. "Aw, congratulations!"

"Thanks. I want to ask you two things."

"Shoot." He popped a grape into his mouth.

"James and I would like you to be the best man."

"Um… Are you sure?" Sirius was, for what seemed like the first time, at a loss for words.

"Of course!"

"I'd be happy too." Recognition flashed through his eyes. "What was the other thing you wanted to ask me?"

"I understand if you don't want to," I started, "but none of our parents will be there… well, _obviously_," I added bitterly, "but I'd really, really like it if you could walk me down the aisle. I get if it's too much, but well, you're my best friend, and I love you t-"

"Of course I'll do it, Lils." His grey eyes had a sheen to them. "I'd be honoured."

I launched myself at Sirius. "Thank you." A single tear rolled down my cheek. "I love you, you know."

"I know." He laughed, but I knew he was getting emotional. "I love you too."

* * *

"If you want me to be honest here, I have no idea what I'd do without you. I love you, so much. You're everything I could ever possibly want. You once told me that love was a game, and this time, I'm all in."

The priest continued his speech.

"James Potter, do you take Lily Evans as your lawful wedded wife, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." I wore a smile as radiant as the sun. My vision was blurry but that was nothing compared to the sobbing mess James had turned into.

"Lily Evans, do you take James Potter for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"I now pronouce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

James leaned down for a soft peck, but I was having none of it. Throwing my bouquet to Merlin knows where, I promptly cupped his face and closed the distance between us.

* * *

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll try to hold him off – just go!" James' voice was strangled and croaky and even with two walls between us I could tell he was crying. I was crying, too.

Somehow, he'd found us. He was here, he was going to take Harry - no. He wasn't going to take Harry. Over my dead body.

I hearded the snake-like voice and the thump of James's body against the ground and I couldn't help but sob a little louder.

"Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Harry... be safe, be strong."

In a rush, he was at the door, and the life was drained from my body.

* * *

Fate works in a funny way.

Perhaps things were not supposed to work out the way they did. Lily and James Potter should have had a long, happy and fulfilling life, and died together of old age.

Perhaps everything went just as fate had decided. Such was the case, _was _indeed the way things turned out. Lily and James Potter _did _die that fateful night in Godric's Hollow.

Neither of them ever came to know that their efforts weren't in vain and that their son, Harry, was alive.

Neither of them ever came to know Peter Pettigrew was a traitor, a spy. They died thinking something _else _must have gone wrong, because there was no way Wormtail would have betrayed his friends like that.

Neither of them ever came to know that Sirius Black was locked away at Azkaban for the following twelve years, or that Remus Lupin would live to be alone for this lengthy amount of time, like he always feared he would.

**16 years later **

or

**The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.**

_They were not living, Harry thought: they were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that his parents' mouldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing. And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot and then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off, or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them._


End file.
